I don't know why, but I have this strange love for you. Why strange? I've never felt it before. It's not the possessive, jealous, intense love so many feel... And it is so strange... how fast this feeling sprung upon me.


I know you will understand this..

When I see you, I see your soul. I do not see your physical appearance, Instead, I see everything that you are.

And let me tell you... I am in love with your soul. And it's the most innocent genuine love one could possibly feel. You are such a free spirit.You are meant to go places, to see the world, and you're so confident in everything you do...
And I envy you.

I see this, and I love this about you. I want you to go and see every place you could dream of visiting, sharing your love for music and life with all you meet along the way. If you do this, I will miss you dearly, but I will be so happy for you... for you will truly be living. And living the life that you know with your heart you're meant to live.

Your mind and your heart and so pure; you have no cruel intentions,you love deeply and you are so kind. You are so caring that you let so many people become close to you.
And sometimes it's the wrong kind of person you get hurt...
But that doesn't stop your heart from caring deeply and longing for that sincerity in return.

Your imagination runs wild with all these thoughts in your head..They are so brilliant; when you speak you paint a picture with your words that is vast, bold, creative, and wonderful.Your mind is a beautiful thing. I have always had an appreciation for those who still poses the ability to see things with open minds, even into adulthood.

When I see you, I see your soul.

I do not see your physical appearance.

Instead, I see everything that you are.

And I love all that you are. Don't forget.

These past few days and nights you have been the only thing on my mind. I can't help but sit and wonder if your laughing when I am, and if you're smiling when I am (Also if your worrying when I am) . I miss your voice, and your smile.

And your eyes...

I would give anything to spend a whole day with you, just you and me. It's only been a day since I've looked into the eyes of my soul mate, but in my heart it feels as though its been so unbearably long. I sit and think of all the reasons why I love you and all my favorite memories with you and I get so happy. I am so glad to know I am not alone...
This is the first time someone has been willing to stand with me through tough times, and honestly just your support is so much help. Thank you, I love you and I appreciate everything you do, have done, and are willing to do for me. You are truly amazing and truly special; You are my favorite person on earth, and you are my best friend.

Love,
Me <3

I'm on the edge of breaking down,
I'm slowly, slowly dying.
My sister wont leave me alone,
And my parents caught me lying.
So here I am laying down,
I say a little prayer,
Lord help my hell of a life,
Help me not go there.
My life is so messed up right now,
If only I knew what to do…
I take my writings in my hands,
And slowly tear them in two.
Yes, I did the thing that hurts me most,
My passion is now in shreds,
I feel so alone here,
Sitting on my bed.
My pain slowly starts to show,
As tears roll down my face.
I quietly start to choke; for around my neck,
Is invisible, deadly lace.

I don’t know why but it hurts more when the sting is coming from your lips.
Do you ever regret me?
When you look into my eyes do you see yourself?
Do you see your soul-mate’s eyes?
They’re the same shade of brown.
Does it make you feel big to make me feel little?
And do you mean what you say?
I feel Victimized by you.
And I feel like I try to outrun this storm but this tornado follows my every move;
Lashing it’s wrath at me every chance it gets..
Ruining everything in the process.
Did you know when you call me stupid I believe you?
And that sometimes I wait outside for what feels like hours,
Just to avoid any contact with you.
I’m scared to talk to you all the time because I never know which
“you” is going to respond..
I pray for peace amid the storm but sometimes it doesn’t come…
Then I break..
I go into a deep dark hole dug by your bare hands.
You help me in, it’s your pleasure…
What I never expected was to find a white dove at the bottom of this hole.
I send him to you in hopes he helps you find your way,
And I told him to tell you I love you…

waiting, enter, music
enter, music, fans
music, fans, dance
fans, dance, mosh
dance, mosh, break
mosh, break, band
break, band, leave

Today I awoke to the piercing sound of lightning striking a dead tree outside my window. I look out the window to see it has caught fire, and I wonder to myself how this violent downpour isn’t stopping this incandescence brightening my room. I step outside my house, and as I take my last steps down the porch, I  plunge feet first into a pool of dark red blood. I keep walking.. Cold, tired, and scared. I can barely see through all the fog. Through squinted eyes I make out a dark figure sitting on the bench beneath my tree..and in his hand, a single red rose. As I inch closer to this man I notice he is tearing apart the rose, one petal at a time. With all the confidence in the world I walk up to this man and stand in front of him. He does not look up, in fact he keeps pulling the petals off, and as I observe my surroundings more I notice that when the petals hit the ground, instead of staying in their original form they turn into a small puddle of blood. This man only looks down, in fact my presence has absolutely no effect on him, like he can’t see me.. Ash falls onto both of us, but he does not move..I move on, drenched in blood, ash, and dirt, and rain.

In veils of black, nighttime screams in my face. I walk up a dirt road. Never before in my life have I felt so emotionless, so dead. Walking on this lonely dirt rode I stumble upon a graveyard. I can barely see the top of the headstones over the fog caused from the cold. I walk throughout the graveyard, and wonder why it seems so familiar. I take a better glance at the headstones; I see many names of people close to me. The feeling of being alone hits me like a ton of bricks, but I do not weep for these people.  I just keep on my journey and do not look back.

Pierced through the heart,
An arrow from you,
Hypnotized by those things you do.
Drowning in love,
I gasp for air,
You tell me you love me,
You say that you care.
I grip my chest,
To hold my heart,
With you our love will never part.
I take my heart,
Hand it to you,
I say baby I love you.
Do to it what you want..
But break this poor heart is one thing you cannot.
She gets a tear in her eye,
And says baby id never try.
We kiss and we hug for over an hour,
But to hold this love takes a stronger power,
It takes the power of life that we cannot chose,
The one thing so easy to lose.
I looked at her as she fell to the floor,
Pushing my body into the door,
Breaking down with so much pain,
Now that shes gone there's no more to gain.
What to do and where to go?
When the river of love can no longer flow.

Laying in my bed sad and sorrow,
Knowing I wont see her tomorrow.
I wear a smile to hide the pain,
How life will never be the same.
Without her my hearts not whole,
Now all is left is her body, without a soul.
The next morning I wake up to the crack of dawn,
Burst into tears knowing my one true love is forever gone.
Now that i'm empty i'm dead too,
there's not really much left for me to do.
my life was based on her life..
the only one who could be my wife.

Forbidden because a number,
Wanted still the same,
How to finish this picture,
If you don't add a frame?
A painters dream,
No longer there,
For this picture is forbidden,
Nothing in life is fair.
Little by little,
The painting comes together,
The artist can see it coming,
Starting to feel better.
How can something like this affect the value?
Any painting of any age,
Is still a painting,
Colors on a page.
The artist doesn’t care anymore,
Paint on the paper,
Draw out love and let your worries turn to vapor.
All you have to do is add the final touch,
I wait here patiently,
Now all you need is to add the frame,
Together we will be.
You have painted courage, devotion, strength...
your angel from above,
those things are what make
our forbidden love.

To those horrible nights,
To those stupid fights.

To your dumb lies,
To the hours i’d cry.

To the harsh texts,
To the words ill never forget.

To all my tears,
To all my fears.

To seeing you cheat,
To excuses I can’t beat.

To loving you,
To wishing you loved me too.

To wanting you always by my side,
To wanting to run, and wanting to die.

To seeing you with her,
To wishing this never occurred.

To the source of all my pain,
To all the strength that i’ve gained.

To not needing you anymore,
To leaving you back at the door.

To realizing now that i’m free…
*******
**Heres to me!

Sometimes I see you in my dreams,Your warm smile, your gentle eyes.
Once in a while, I have conversations with you, though your not there.
I tell you about how I miss holding your hand when crossing the street, or how I miss standing on your shoes while we danced to "blue moon". When you were sick, you told me I was your medicine. Did I not give you the right doses of the love you call medicine to keep you here? Often I wonder if you know what my daughter looks like. Do you watch over her? I see she has the ability to love like you, which is rare.. I though no one can love like you. Can you see your big heart in her the way I can? I was so sure your heart really was made of gold, so wonderful... Yet that very heart stole you from me.

Blessed is she who comes across,
A man so pure and full of love.
Who devoutly reveres his beloved,
To miss out would be  a vast loss.


A man like mine,
Perfection in human form.
Oh how he is flawless,
A personality which endearingly shines.

He posses a touch to admirable to be factual,
A voice that makes you feel at home,
A smile that says you’re not alone,
A body so desirable, so ****, so practical.

A love like the finest of wine,
Each day it gets better,
Nothing but better,
A love so sensibly divine.


When you have a love like ours,
You’ll learn there is fate,
None of this is fake,
Days seem only hours.


Blessed is she who comes across,
a man such as mine,
A love so divine,
to miss out would be a vast loss.

You are the epitome of beauty.
The slightest glance at your face renders my knees useless.
The first time these eyes ever looked upon a soul like yours.
The majestic way you move entrances me like a fly to light.
I can't take my eyes away for a fear of missing something great<3

Oh how I love you so,
My guardian, my nurturer,
So weak in my eyes,
But in my heart,
I’m weak too.
But this fact is one you mustn’t know,
I’m sad and I’m broken,
I’m lost and confused,
But I’ll tell you I’m strong...
And although you really don't know,
I love you so.

To shield my heart I put up a wall,
One that is incapable to fall.
Guarding that wall stands a demon,
He’s angry and just doesn’t care,
He’ll bite, he’ll scream, he’ll curse you to hell,
And you’d never know,
That really, he loves you so.
Locked behind that wall is a young girl,
Shes happy and playful,
She glows with joy and love,
And when you see that magnificent glow,
You'll instantly know,
How much she loves you so.
But this girl is a Gemini,
Which means attached is another side,
Although all she wants is for this side to hide.
That glow is dark, inescapable, Unusual, unique, and mean.
You’d never guess it was the same girl,
And you’d never know,
That both sides of this girl, very much, love you so.
At a corner sits a small girl,
She cries out loud but without a sound.
Shes incapable of feeling, always numb.
But when you see her she’ll stand strong.
And you’d never know,
She cries when you go,
And these tears are nothing but those,
caused from loving you so.

I close my eyes to a world unknown, at my side a figure is shown, familiar at heart but I cannot see, the face of this being next to me.

We walk in silence, side by side, I couldn’t make sense of this place if I tried. So plain and boring; dark and cold, everything in sight looks stone and old.

We stop next to a huge dead tree,I look to my side and all I can see, this figure in dark now has eyes that glow red, I realize now I must be dead.

Out of nowhere appears a gate, I beg for forgiveness but know it’s too late... Harshly pushed through and I’m on my own, now I know the true feeling of being alone.

I was scared though, once we departed, to walk through these realms alone and unguarded. I moved uneasy through this Gothic art, I was scared for my soul, and for my heart.

As I walked this path alone, I heard a voice other than my own. It wanted me it yearned for me, it called with the most desire….

SILENCE!! One must never speak, of the devious evil which conquers the weak. Of the one who feeds off souls and sin, he’s hard to get rid of but easy to let in.

I could feel the evil at the depths of my soul, the eeriness of night had taken its toll. Stranded and lost,cold and confused, I wanted to escape but was incapable to move.

“Come closer my dear”, and I shivered with fear,so softly it spoke, and then I awoke.

I hate your ego,
I hate that your so mean,
I hate that I always turn to you,
I hate that we weren’t meant to be.

I hate that I cant get over you,
I hate that you make me cry,
I hate that everything reminds me of you,
I hate that I don’t get why.

I hate that your in my nightmares,
I hate that your in my dreams,
I hate that you bring me this euphoria,
Where nothing is as it seems.

I hate that you play me,
I hate that I’m your toy,
I hate that you think your such a man,
I hate that I think your just a boy.

I hate that your not there for me,
I hate that I’m always sad,
I hate that your miles away,
I hate that I want you so bad.

I hate that you put up this front,
I hate that your such a “g”
I hate that every girl loves you,
And that  you said you love me.

But I love the way you talk to me,
I love the way you smile,
I love the way you take my pain away,
Even if its for a short while.

I love the way you touch me,
I love the way you know,
I love the way you hold me tight
I love how you don’t let me go.

I see this light inside,
I know there’s good in you,
And when no one else sees it,
Know that, I do.

I see all you have to offer I know all your flaws

And I try to love you…

But my love is just a lost cause.