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 Jun 2017 mickaela
Idiot
If learning is a three dimensional thing,
then exams are two dimensional. Any beautiful things will be projected into ugly figures.

If studying is a two dimensional thing,
then midterms shall be one dimensional. Happiness will be projected into sadness.

If curiosity is an one dimensional thing,
then quizzes must be a dot, the one that breaks my heart. Knowledge will be projected into nonsense.

As a whole, practice makes perfect, and quizzes are useless.
Now in a bad mood!! Because I failed the midterm of Geometry, which ,I think,  is well-prepared!!!
Just live your life peacefully
Moments will come and go
Take matters one moment at a time
And go with the flow
Put yourself in a position
To get better each day
Enrich your world
Take flight in every way
 Jun 2017 mickaela
Lauren
the minute i felt the gentle breeze brushing against my skin from between the dusty rocks, i fell into a daze
a dream almost,
the dream where that one thing you desperately needed was in your between your fingers, begging, just aching for you to capture it
and the minute you close your fist to hold it, it vanishes - like a cloud of smoke
you awake, and all that is left is a fist clutching the sheets
gone before you could comprehend what it was

maybe it was a feeling, maybe it was the dripping beauty that saturated my thoughts every time my eyes fluttered open,
almost as if my mind didn't believe we were still there
believed that we were still dreaming

and maybe, maybe it was the idea that this was a single place in the world where i would never feel sadness.
maybe i was in love with the idea that the beauty and soft purple flowers growing out of dust could heal my worried and tired soul

when the desert sun rose on that Thursday spring morning, i brushed my teeth, and shrugged on the same shorts i had worn the entirety of the road trip
bell rock was the hike we would make
red powder built on my shoes as the wind pushed my sticky bangs around my forehead, and i stopped to look at the names, intitals and hearts scratched into the rock,
i thought about how proud the rocks must be, for people carved the letters of their name into them, just hoping, praying that a place this beautiful would remember them;
i thought, maybe they hoped that the part of them that carved their name along with their lovers would always be stuck in Sedona, smack dab in the middle of that lone desert paradise
while sitting on the top of bell rock, the red stone underneath me, cold and raw on my bare thighs
i felt the rocks speak
they told me, "do not be afraid, for i have been here before souls were poured into humans, i have lived long before you and i will live long after you, my dear; do not be afraid"

the mountains have eyes, i can sense it
they feel every snowflake wet,
and every hiking shoe dry,
loving, and embracing the beautiful home they created
and as for me, well, i wanted to be one too
i wanted to stand, and listen to the hum of the buzzing highway below,
and the hawks in the sky above
in the cool air of the desert
for the rest of eternity
and maybe after too
 Jun 2017 mickaela
medha
apathy
 Jun 2017 mickaela
medha
the next time
you try to rub salt
in my wounds

i'll smile at you
with apathy
because

i've already
hit rock bottom
and made it
back home.
you are stronger than your suffering.
 Jun 2017 mickaela
Jim Marchel
Remember when we talked about angels
Under the sunless sky so dark
It was as if we were the only two sparks left in the world?

Do you remember when we wondered
If they took on life just to walk next to us down the street,
Or to sit down next to us when we cry away our pain
Over a lukewarm cup of coffee?

Do you remember how you felt that night
When you laughed with conviction
And wiped tears from your eyes
Because you were absolutely certain
God sent you an angel in disguise?
Why do we so often take our greatest testimonies and misconstrue them as circumstance? I can only imagine this question is exactly why God sends us angels in the first place.
 Jun 2017 mickaela
athena
it’s really never the same love twice. you’ll always look for what’s lacking, the missing brick on that wall, the strands and what makes up each element. it goes that way, but when will enough be enough and what is enough? it’s staring in the strangest of ways and knowing what kind of monsters were inside or for how long you left the water running and how you secretly hoped he passed you notes and letters because you’re beautiful. it’s peculiar, it’s different, it’s how deep the cut was and how you try to stuff the misadventures inside your skin and wait for it to heal – and you actually think you’re healed. not knowing that an emotional void was left to stay forever but he said that the love of two people would fill everything in and i will eventually find out why my mom’s soul and his dwelled on each other even after death, even after death.
How am i standing and not crumbling?
How am i breathing and not choking?
For every second thought
marching for the sun's light
for every second look
hunting for the moon's beauty
i almost forgot your face
so horrified i felt
I need a moment to straighten
my senses.
I have to let go
no apologies will be made
have to keep walking
but never forget.
Treasured moments so true
that i have nothing else to say.
I wake in bed, 'neath twisted sheets,
full throated sings the thrush
and with it, the scrape of knotted
twigs, scratching at my window-pane,
which doubtless served to bring me
up, from that release of dreamless
sleep.

I turn my head upon the pillow,
hoist me up the patchwork quilt,
but struggle how I may in lust
of the peerless prize of sleeps
recapture, I end, as well perhaps,
I might have known, with naught
to show but bated breath, and rest
lost, in want recalled.

Throwing off the strangling sheets,
pushing back the weighted quilt,
I rise, abandon hope of sleep,
shiver, in the morning's chill;
the dawns of Spring as
Winters days.

I move to light a candle,
watch the flickering flames arise,
draw up a chair to the window,
set the candle at my side. I
sit there, dreaming wakeful,
mind weary, gone, astray, as
the minutes pass in silence,
and the hours slip away.

At length, as long I lie there,
reclined in soulful apathy,
lost in boundless sympathy
as to the state of self and Being,
I rouse myself, and stir, eyes
red, begrimed and straining,
for I sense a subtle lessening,
in the aura of the dark.

Then at last, as I sit watching,
I and the herald thrush, at
last, oh long awaited! the
gleam of the dawning Sun.
I rise and gaze in gladness,
tears welling at the brim,
for it seems to me I never saw
more splendid a sight than
this; sublime, celestial
vision, balm to my hearts
desire.

I move towards the door,
all weariness forgotten,
push back the latch and
turn, forward in the
lambent dawn.
I stand amidst the sunlight,
golden gleam effulgent,
and all the dew-drops
glittering, resplendent in
the shine.

I marvel to myself in awe,
at the magnitude of
the world, as if the
colors' cool irradiance,
or the fragrance of
the vernal dawn,
were not but seeming
new, but were, verily
new-made in glory,
set to lighten paradise,
for the coming of
Thoughts firstborn.

I breathe deep, in and out.
Thoughts clear I gaze,
out still, amidst the reaching
light, yearning ever to glimpse,
into the heart of the Sun,
and see there, as I know I
shall, the patterns of eternity,
Imprinted upon my eyes
and memory, full-writ
in endless time, before descends
the final black.

At last, I sit, back straight,
against the old and ivied wall.
Eyes farseeing, gaze lost,
beyond the reach of mind
and men, I waver not, from
that point of infinity, lost to
the horizon, and yet near,
so near...I am lost, adrift,
in a golden sea of light,
and of nothingness,
which is everything,
and eternity.

Lost, amidst the bright expanse;
peace, in endless change.

And I sleep, amidst the
dawning light, at last,
in blissful solitude;
and my soul is far,
and gone from me,
gone, within the fractals
of infinity, and in the
sempiternity of joy,
and of endless light;
for a moment,
and for forever,
in Time.
These are my spiritualities, my convictions, such as they are, unpolished yet, of the universe, and of the soul, and of God, and Time. Comment, if you will. Thank you, if you have read this through, to the end. Thank you, with all my heart.
 Nov 2016 mickaela
Kyle Ray Smith
Sometimes, I swear I can feel my chest concaving at the thought of you.
I find interest in the fact that sometimes I want to be near you, but sometimes,  I wish you were an ocean away.

Sometimes I look at my mother,  and pray I'm not like her, but other times,  I wish I could be more like her because that would make my life so much easier.

Sometimes, I cry alone at night.
I sit unaccompanied and begin to gorge myself on memories and guilt that I am certain will forever haunt me.
And during the day.
I think about how many more days I must suffer before I can be me freely.

Sometimes, I wish I was as much of a physical man as my brother is.  
Because sometimes,  like when we have a relatives birthday, or a celebration, he is glorified for his ability to be ox-like.
And while I sit here only weighing 130 pounds and having the strength of a rubber chicken I feel as though every bit of breath I breathe is not with the carbon my lungs put out.

Sometimes I think about you.
And how you're with him.  
And it makes me sick.
Because sometimes. . .
I wish sometimes didn't exist
To Sheridan
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