To the world and to its people
An epitome of perfection
A perfectly placed nose
And the right shade of eyes
A dimpled cheek
A profound collar bone

She was breaking down
On the insides
Her walls of security
Her walls of ego
Making way for her insanity
Crumbling into pieces
Each and every day.

To the world and its people
She was perfection.

Engulfing me, darkness
I sit back taking it all in
Doesn't mean I'm weak
Doesn't mean I'm wrong
I'm the voice
The one who keeps life
Flourishing, I sow the seeds
I am the life
Underrated
Understated
Misunderstood
But burning fire beneath
I'll spill stardust
And change my fate
Ringing so loudly
It is the sound of change
I'm breaking a new dawn.

I'm tired
Of counting the endless cigarette butts
That lie on the floor
Scattered
I collect them one by one
To make sure I've collected enough poison
That'll burn me down
Crush my heart into ashes
I'm tired because I don't know what I did so wrong
What I did to deserve these heinous replies
The unending smoky breaths
That cloud between us,
They're engulfing what was once beautifully ours
To keep and hold
I'm letting go off of you tonight, though
I'm letting the clouds fly you away from me
I'm letting the smog of whatever we had
**** us inside of reality
Bringing us back to where we started
Because it was better not knowing you
It felt better to breathe without this fire of hate
And love craze
Burning inside of me,
Every moment
So I'm letting you go
With the hope
That some day when we're at crossroads
You'll be full of oxygen
Helping another
To breathe again.

Sailor.
Come back
Its your boy's birthday today
They brought you boxed in a coffin day before
Was that the present he should've expected?
Laced with garlands
With a spread of the National Flag on top
Sailor
I know its been your dream
To conquer unexplored lands
Its been your fantasy
To achieve heights beyond your reach
But what about your boy
He sleeps with the fighter plane clung to his heart
You need to finish that for him
I run my fingers over his carved name
As if your hands were still at work
Sailor
Come back
Not for me, not for your parents
For him
Him, who talks to your photograph every night and morn
How do I explain to him
What exactly do I say
Sailor
Its okay
He saw your body
He's been in shock
He cannot shake the image off
Of your cold hands and face
And why you wouldn't come out
He's died somewhere in his heart
Its not okay but its okay
I hope you understand
I'll try my best to meet you
Maybe in some other lifetime.

Slide your hand into mine
And press your nose against
My cheek
Flaming red
Blush? I don't think so
More like an adrenaline rush
Just because I know
I feel it sending a tingle down
My spine
Your hand
You slide
My bones freeze against
Blood, ice
Slide
Your tongue's entangled in mine
As we brush our noses
Cheeks
And slide into our own space
Against the will of time.

Her kohl outlines
Define the depth in her eyes
The eyes speaking of a chirpy morning
And the onset of the darkness after
Those first rays of that day
It wasn't his fault
He was fourteen
He loved cats
He loved dogs
And mud castles
She breathed him
Her breaths are futile now
Even a year later
Her fingers bare the same nail paint
Stained, her hands and feet, still in his blood
Smelling perfect of his cologne and mud
Hair bun neat and tidy
But none can feel the entangled knots of pain beneath
She's dressed to ****
**** her heart
The memories of her motherhood
She's waking another day to die another death.

Her hands
I've clutched them before
Her hands
I've felt them before
But never so cold.
Her hair
I've traced them back before
Her hair
I've laced them on my fingers before
But never so rough.
Her *****
I've felt flesh beneath before
Her *****
Full of life
But never so out of breath.
I hold my face in her hands
I try to breathe my life into them
I spot her wrinkles
I spot the sagging skin
She's never felt so old to me
She's been this old
Moved on with time
Moved together with time
But never before.