I fell like there's more words in the English language
than there are brain cells
in my decrepit body
what do you call
the feeling of longing
for something that you never
have seen or expirienced in you whole life?

Why do people strive to be prosperous,
but not help those in need?
I think too much,
for my own good,
and I should let
my poisions do their job,
and take me out of this world
and into Nirvana

but a madman can spout all he wants
and his words mean nothing
we are all saying the same words
thinking we are unique in our presentation,
but this has all been done before
we are another act to the play
that hides the truth in
the rafters and very soon
curtain call will destroy us all

I arrived on a date unknown
my body lay cold, dead and alone,
I can't recall the events of how I fell,
I just am thankful I'm not in hell,

I don't know where I am, however,
The sky is a beautiful blue, and oh my, the weather,
but I cannot find another soul,
My chest tightens, and my heart feels like coal,

It's black as the night, but I'm basking in light,
I can't give up my fight,
and when the final tear is shed, I just might,
So instead I will live here in delight,

So If I can not a person among these oceans, stars, earth and snow,
Where did they all go? Oh my, what if they are below?

Recently, I've come to think I have ADD
Definitely, it's in the open, plain to see
As a child I found life hell,
The gears kept twisting, spouting some scandalous lies
My mind just raced no matter what,
Its true what they say, kids are mean, nasty, and cruel,
If I could go back, I'd say "know your heart is true",

I remember the Moose I saw, up in old Maine,
We were all in a cabin, I loved the soft rain,
Four generations, all as one,
Lived simply together, I remember our song,
We sung once when a fox poked up,
Out of the brush, we hushed and cooed out of sight,
And it stared with green eyes, and in there flared fiery fight,

I can remember the beach my favorite time,
I put my toes in cool sand, a feel that is sublime
The sand was so white,
It was just right for fireworks that starry night,
I can't imagine,
what would be better than warm water, Old Silver
is a beach where I would stay for meditation

Remembering the smell of the gross chemicals,
I sprayed at an abandoned night club, stomach full,
Of ***** I once stole,
from the cupboard where I wasn't supposed to go,
I could feel my soul,
When I climbed onto the roof, I could feel the weight,
When I sat on the edge, in front lay a beautiful city,
'
Recently, I've come to think I have ADD
Definitely, it's in the open, plain to see
And to this day I find life hell,
The gears kept twisting, spouting some scandalous lies
My mind still races no matter what,
Its true what they say, life is mean, nasty, and cruel,
If I could go back, I'd say "know your heart is true",

I once dated a ******
And I loaned him money.
I laughed out loud in church.
Well! I found it all so funny.
I bought a used Chevy van
Without the proper paperwork.
I tried to get my money back
And the guy called ME a ****.

A friend told me I could buy ****
From a guy on the edge of Watts.
Eleven o’clock at night on his porch
Me, a stranger, waiting. Stupid ****.
Once I knew another guy, not well.
He wanted some dope from me.
I agreed to sell it, then realized
The fellow worked for the FCC.

I let a gal move in with me
A hippie from Haight Ashbury.
She drank my *****, ate my food
Then stole all she could carry.
It was just the kind of thing,
The sixties games we played.
Free love, open heart and then
After all that, I didn’t get laid.

A guy was selling hot TVs
From my place of employ.
A fool and money, you know
Is all about a gullible boy.
And, since the crook was a gal
I fell for it, because naturally,
A nice lady would never, ever
Try to swindle the sweet young me.

A guy was plunking his guitar
With a sign that said he was blind.
I gave him my last buck and
Figured I was just being kind.
At five o’clock, he got up to go
And I thanked my lucky star
That I was not blind like he was
Then I saw him drive away in his car.

Doing stupid things does not mean
That a person it a certifiable idiot.
It can mean that we trust too much
Or that we’re greedy and don’t admit it.
We see a chance to get a profit
Or even to do something nice
Then get stupid, do what we know
Is contrary to all good advice.

I'll keep the lights on in this place,
I'll sit here in the dark forever if its the case,
but I know you'll be back soon,
When I call we both know its a harpoon,

The walls will dry and crack,
this is where you bring me for a panic attack,
I have felt worthless for so long,
I have lost interest in any game or song,

No I think I'll retreat back to that room to be alone,
In there my voice is nothing but calm in its tone,
I know its not the place that I wish to stay,
but time and time again the world is too **** gray,

I watch it all move and twist about,
my insides screaming, my skin crawls and I want to shout,
But the camera's shutter moves to slow,
and the world slows down to a snail's flow,

I never talked about the way I felt
except in that room, where my heart could melt,
and words can flow there like a summer's breeze,
so I regress back to that room with ease,

I'm sorry to make you read anymore,
If the windows crack I need you to shut the door,
I don't bring anyone else here,
I've lived my whole life in fear,

I need to break out and make anew,
before my youth slows to a crawl, and then it's through
If I think anymore, my brain will implode,
like a black hole, it's another episode

Inside I scream, my skin crawls, I want to shout
**Please depression, just let me out

I prayed for rain fall for 100 years and not a drop fell,
Through the kingdom grew our depleted wells,
Of knowledge and virtue, a gift so strong,
And the mystics preach their ageless songs,

We wither, wasting away under the dim lit fog,
They are to us as we to a dog,
The stars are blackened by wrath of gods,
the world is trapped in mother's jaws,

Her nature is that of the beast,
Her carnage crosses due east,
I pray for help on the beach,
Coals of hell will burn their feet,

So help your neighbor for he is you,
And believe in yourself and those around you,
and take care of anyone near the end,
Because sometimes we too are close to the bend,