From a young age it's followed me,
with a scrunched back and a shrouded face
like a shadow
it watched me write alone behind the dumpster
cross streets when cars came,
and that time I played chicken it was there to comfort me

My life is the lamest tragedy
I walk this lonely road,
the only one I have ever known
and greenday got me through it back then
but now it all falls apart

we're apart and I don't think there's a remedy
alone through this life is the way I ride
and it may be the last time tonight

I write because no one listened
maybe I'm too emotional
my psyche has gotten out of control
tentacles reach from memories buried
and they come forth to haunt me

I just feel empty like a deflated balloon
used up, thrown out, and so **** blue
I can try to put light where there is darkness
but there hasn't been any light for me

So I will sit here alone at my desk in contemplation
I don't think it will help but I've been
my own company for far too long
so much that I stopped singing my song.

I'd like to say the blue sky is what will load
I wave hello to the thought of you following
me down this long yellow and tattered brick road
a different path sprouts up and I can hear the calling
"Everything you think is a lie in disguise"
A low voice cackles, a shadow face emerges, time slows
"Use your eyes to realize real lies"
Dread is a comfort wrapped around my skin when the wind blows

I feel like death is what is inside a black hole
not only literally, I look around the luminous room,
the walls fall down, all that I can see is green bubbly mold
I'll try to sweep boulders, and shimmy over with the broom
Before the shadow disappears, 100 years have made me old
The walls are back, but nothing holds the fume

It accompanies my conscious self
fumes relax the soul, and but the Subconscious to sleep
I'll box up the memories and store them on the shelf
From the beach to this **** town they run my emotions to deep
sometimes your mind has to die to heal yourself
lovers cross at the wrong point in time, a sea of life is why I weep
******* emotions give me the ******* blues

I wonder if sociopaths need the laughing gas
because to continue on my heart has become blue

It's a mess you can't clean
It's behind the cracked mask
the face of a fiend
To clean is your only task
but everything falls apart at the seams

I sit here depressed at 2 AM
and I can't help but wonder where the time went
when did I go wrong and fall lose off track
of my life, it causes fluttering heart attacks
I feel solitary may bring solidarity
I yearn to progress personally to singularity

But I'm stuck in a rut and mud is taking over
The Earth covers me with blankets, pulls me closer,
A warm hug isn't what I want but what I needed
From all these thoughts my brain is too heated
and I'm scared of what's to come
my friends are gone, if I ever had one

I enter and leave this world by myself
my life just one page in the dustiest book on the shelf
It scares me that I won't be remembered
my words service to see my image rendered
in minds and hearts of those I have touched
And with you the touch was too much

I lay my hand upon your heart
and it burned in, I can see the mark
I'm not a bad person, but who am I?
I take my body and throw it up to the sky
A scar is what I left on you
I can't heal it, not even with superglue

but you will live on, and so will I
and the only thing for us to do is try
march your feet in the onward direction
and at the end we meet our reflection

Perhaps this is exactly what I need
Cause for awhile all I have done is bleed

She’s as small, yet beautiful

As the budding spring leaves

She’s as radient and strong

As a summer day

She’s as colorful and calm

As the leaves falling off the autumn trees

Her hairs as white, and her mood as soft

As a snowflake falling on the ground

She's Born budding

And She Dies Soft