if you went back in time
and found my eighth grade self

you would find long sleeves
pulled way down her arms
and you might notice
she was hiding something
that she got awfully tired of hiding
and tired of stares when she wasn't

i'll give you a hint
my ninth grade self
had bright red scars
seared into her shoulders

my tenth grade self
was still finding leftover
pink horizon lines from
safety razors on her thighs

my eleventh grade self
found all her skin remarkably
pale but her coping
mechanisms still unhealthy

and my twelfth-grade self
she was the weakest one of all
just had the strongest
jaw to hide behind
and enough self-confidence to
stretch thin across her neuroses

but if you could go back
and find my eighth-grade self

please tell her
something for me
she won't believe it
but i just have to tell her

that in four years she will buy
the most beautiful sleeveless
white dress with navy lace
and she will wear it with
sneakers and bruises on her knees
a smile the overexposed
color of her insecurity

and nobody
will say a
**** thing
about her scars
bleached into
a memory.

This is for people who are "overweight"
___________
Got up today,
made myself some breakfast.
Got in the shower
Looked at my body,
Saw what everyone else sees.
My belly is too big,
I tell myself
"I'm ugly"
I cry a little inside.
I put on my shirt
saw the XL on the tag.
I went to school,
watched people look at me.
Its not fair you know.
I am unable to exercise,
my asthma has almost taken my life from doing so
*twice*
I wish people would see
my pants size represents my heart,
not your superiority.
If I wear a size 27,
my heart is 27,
and you where a size two.........
I wish people would look at my eyes,
not at my waist,
and look at who I am,
not what I  look like.
I am a great person,
I do not like being called fat.
Fantastic,
Awesome ,
Terrific
person,
is who I am
I am not fat,
I am human.
Respect me.
Despite what you think,
I can kiss
I can love
I can feel
I am a person,
who has desires.
I am not fat,
No
I am a person.
_____
No one is overweight.
That is not what maters.
People need to open their mind
before their mouth.
So many magazines exploit people,
society being the same.
People judge others
by what they look like.
That is so ******.
Love the person for who they are
and NOT by what they look like

Love while it's still an acceptable form of insanity.

If i could tell you about her
And I think I should..
I would say that she's a waterfall.
And although most would see that in her hair
I see it in the way her freckles fall from her eyes.
I see her lips stand out bold and red
Like a stone edged into the cliff
And In all her majesty,
She's intimate..
Intimate With herself
And  in seeing that intimacy
I can only imagine that the intimacy might one day be granted to me by another that's like a waterfall..
But I know it won't be her.

Gold erupts violently from her crown
And falls onto her shoulders
Never controlled, her hair amuses me.
I love to see her in her doings..
In action of working on her new stuff
Or fixing the jeans at her ankle
To see her walk upstairs towards me
Or when she throws herself onto the grass


Her every action grants me an image of my absence
And in my emotions I am irresponsible
In my actions I restrain myself heavily
While I overflow with affection

I know she wants to hear it
But this is not the way she's meant to be loved
Not just for moments of my picking
And It's not in shame that I admit I'm not the one.

Before there was snapchat
There was Instagram
Before instagram
There was Tumblr
Begore tumblr
There was twitter.
Before  twitter
There was Facebook
Before  Facebook,
There  was myspace
Before myspace
There was dating sites.
Before dating sites there was games
Before those  computer  games
There was a keyboard and monitor.
Before the keyboard and monitor  there was
*human interaction

I care too much.
I really do.
I care about
you
and her
and him
and them
I care about life.
I care so much
that I neglect myself
I neglect my wants
my needs.
I have been providing so much light for others,
that I have let my world grow dark.
I am too busy feeding other people compliments,
that I have left myself starving.
I can't decide
who matters more.
I worry about being conceded
so I discard myself completely.
I care too much