as is the sea marvelous
from god’s
hands which sent her forth
to sleep upon the world

and the earth withers
the moon crumbles
one by one
stars flutter into dust

but the sea
does not change
and she goes forth out of hands and
she returns into hands

and is with sleep….

love,
    the breaking

of your
        soul
        upon
my lips

This site is my lifeline
Yet,
You are the only ones
Who can watch
Me slowly dying
Falling apart
Before your eyes

You are the only ones who
Know about my nightly crying
And how
The pressure builds for trying

This site is my lifeline

You are all so encouraging
I have yet to hear
Someone say,
"We don't want you,
Just go die"

You say to keep living
Loving
Laughing

And while that
May not be possible for me
You remind me to try

This site is my lifeline
And the great people on it
I may have lost my life
If it weren't for you

*So thank you

Who says depression
Must be gray?

It's not

I see red
In the blood
From my cuts

I see,
Blues, greens, purples
In the bruises
From the
"Accidents"

I see white clearness
In the tears
From the sadness

I see orange and yellow
From the hot
Bursts of pain

So take it from me,
Depression
Is not simply
*Gray

Yeah I'm fine

I just tripped
Off a cliff

I'm just chipped
Into a million pieces

It's only a scratch
But I'm bleeding out

I'm fine as always
*Just dying inside

How did I get here?

I have a
Knife in my heart

Sword in my soul

And a bullet in my head

Yet I'm still going

How does that work?

It's been six days
I've slept maybe six hours
Probably less

That's not enough
For one night
Let alone
One week

You see,
On the off chance
I escape my mind
From it's torrents
Of memories

It's not into
The world of dreams
It's into
The world of nightmares

So I stay awake

By choice or not
Sleep is a priviledge
I do not recieve

Please,
Remind me;

What does joy feel like?
Why is it so desired?
Does it even exist?

Remind me;

What does content sleep feel like?
Do you dream?
Can you remember anything?

Remind me;

What does peace feel like?
Does it ever change?
Is it really that good?

Remind me;

What does innocence feel like?
Do you care about things still?
Are there still some who feel it?

I'll remind you;
Not knowing these
*****

If I wake up
Without tears
Remind me
To be happy
For that means
I slept
Without nightmares

If I wake up
With amnesia
Remind me
To be happy
It's better this way
Memories ****
Anyway

If I don't wake up
And I lay there dead
Remind me
To be happy
This is good
I am not a
Burden
Any longer

If life were a video game,
Then I would totally buy the
'Skip this level'
Option
Because let me tell you,
This level *****

Fascist fascist
Fascinating
Liberating or degrading
Hangs from single strings
Nothing comes and no one sings
No one laughs and nothing breaks
See the cracks drip down my face

Fascist fascist
Fascinating
Fascinating fascist face
Flash-forward foreshadow
White cold lace
Not as durable as we first thought
But the car is packed
In the parking lot
I light the cigarettes we bought
And now there is no going back
Not back to there
Nor back to that
Not back to night
Nor back to day
Nor back to summers
Far away

Fascist fascist
Fascinating
Forget my fascist family tree
The fascist fascist memory
And moustache moustache damaging
Or fresco firefly reverie
Just tell me that I’m yours
Sign the line
Like you have before
This is where we are right now
Two souls alive
In the empty town
Two souls alive
In the ******* ghost god-empty town.

So, What think you of Whitman?
And what say I of Plath?
I understand all but maybe half
On my greatest finest day
(dearest, how’d we get this way?)
How’d we fall so far from grace?
How’d this canyon split my face?
Maybe it’s the trace trace amounts of fascist.

Fascist fascist
Fascinating
Friday fickle convocating
Tragic talent intubating
All the world smiles, undulating
But in the end
You’re still a fascist.