DEATH ON A ROAD WELL TRAVELED

So many are living
Who don't know what to give
So afraid of dying
And too afraid to live

Take a deep dive with me
Into my abyss
Somethings you never had
And some you will never miss

Come to the otherside
Where dreams are all faded
Nightmares are all the rage
And all the souls are naked
Life is not all fun and games
And now you feel jaded

Sanity is overrated
In a world that's gone insane
All that joy you had to have
And all you feel is pain
For once you must realize
Life is meaningless struggles
What brings it any joy
Is also its bane

M. N. R.
1 OCTOBER 2018

"We are all mad here"
Says the Cheshire cat

I admit, I’ve never chosen you.
Falling in love is temporary,
love is a choice.

And I surrender to you.

You’re heart is grandiose.
In search of an asylum,
the delicacy of your love,
softens my core.
Peering into your soul,
through the earthy green
in your eyes, that spec of blood orange
a fire lights inside of you, hungry
to achieve a purpose.
I want to be your motivation,
be your motivator.
We could lose time
but we’d meet back at the equator,
once again, feeding the fire
that lights for you and I.
We’ve survived darkness
time & time again, lost.
In search of that dwindling fire
we find each other, nose to nose.
We are special,  We are young, We are beautiful, We are complex,
We are strong.
We are real.
Years spent, trying to navigate
the passion of our love.
We’ve rebelled against time,
against distance...
We are flawed, we are damaged.
But we are stubborn in love.

I hope I’m not too late,
I want a clean slate
I’m not holding back anymore.
For the first time, boo
I choose you.

Detached.
A stranger standing
In front of me.
Extrinsically scrutinizing
This figure staring back at me.
Eyes dead like a corpse
An expression of no remorse.
How did I get here!
Here, I stare.
I stare at a reflection I don't endorse.
Startled by who stands before me.
This is not who I want to be.

Overcast and gloom
Completely colorless
In utter helplessness
Suffocated in clouds of black
Nights I lay restless
Days I feel reckless
I wish I could go back
To when smiles were genuine
To when yellows and pinks
Supressed blues and greys
An internal storm is stirring
From darkness and dolour
Cheers to the day I see colour

The diligence of the mask,
cast over
grief and self pity.
Surrounded by peers
of the same committe.
Pain glistens in the eyes,
home to dark bags that gaze
at the end of the bottle.
We put ourselves in full throttle.
We take our hats off to tomorrow,
and intake clouds into our chest.
No need for rest.
As we decide to sit side by side,
Sky high.
Where we can lie,
and hide
the grief we have built up inside.
For our former selves,
that we've thrown aside.