my feet are heavy trying to touch the ground
my skin, a vessel of which i doubt
my heart, empty as it floats in the breeze
my soul embarks in a darkness, only i can see

left and right and right and left
nothing is, nothing is felt
up and down and down and up
nothing is, nothing is felt

i hate looking in the mirror
cause everytime i do, i see a stranger
I’m losing my mind, i don’t know anymore
a tepid face with a manic laughter
falling infinitely into a black hole

front and back and back and front
nothing is, nothing is felt
in and out and out and in
nothing is, nothing is felt

i am not myself, i am not myself
for nothing is, nothing is felt

so you really think I should be thankful
if you tell me that I'm beautiful?
when I know you only turn you head
but never once open up your heart

In my life, I had my many struggles here on the earth.
I had my fair share of issues as well here as well God.
I am by far , undeserving of your Faithfulness Lord.
Yet still you are so Faithful to me my Lord, thank you.
For you the Christ nature is Faithfulness completely.
Even though at a drop of a hat we can be unfaithful.
You shall remain Faithful even then to your people.
For its who you are and what you do , is remain Faithful.
So you whom spoke this planet into being Lord God.
Always deserves our Praise and Worship O Faithful Savior.

If I take a
                 d
                   i
                    p
in the seas
of your
eyes
whatever will happen
if I
     s
      i
      n
       k
         ?

will I tumble head
first
to a watery demise
in a submerged smoke
of oceanic ink

or what happens if I
s e e p
through the cracks in our
flaws - sorry
*floors
?
will my reckless f
                             a
                            l
                             l
be cut
short

or will I
           sink
&        sink
&        sink
some more;

drifting through sub-marine thought?

we are here
to bless                                
restore                    ­                                                              

the broken
holy
whole

mold
peace
from chaos

cradle
vulnerability
with devotion

let our love
be absolute            
unfettered

asking nothing
but to freely
speak

ash stains and cosmopolatin zines
bathroom savoring night-rain
like lorn and lone trucker tobacco
sky forged in dark blues outside a cracked
window, like you in the closet ****
but the door opened up enough to tell.

1. flesh simpering but the voice a sullen
conversation of silence and broke dreams
television with hundred and forty channels
and half open beer cans.

2. silence still drags kissing and murdered
autumns, shadow of hands over flush skin
lurking moonlight invited.

in morning i'll wake with a human
but tonight you are a god with your hands
roaming my hipbones & sleep with
you, my mind running thoughts
like trains on spinal cord railroads