Life is such a parodox
Its an oxymoron
Those who talk the least
Have the most to say
Those who feel the most
Cant even show it
Those who have the most to live
Want to die the most
Why is this so?
Why is it when i think
Often so deeply
That i cant explain
No matter how much
I want to do so
Its just all stuck
I think through things so much
But i can't explain my thoughts
They just stay stuck
Or come out stupid
Why cant i just talk?
Some people talk so much
And yet say so little
I have so much to say
Yet i talk so little
Life my dear friends
Is such a parodox

There is this place
With magnificent grace
Its so very peaceful

It abounds with love
And no one can get enough
But thats fine
Because there is plenty of time

There all is great
No one ever has hate
This place is called childhood

But not all are so good
And not just those from the hood
I was raised in a christian home
Yet still i was all alone

I hear others as they talk
And i silently gaulk
At how good they had it

And its like they dont even know
And i almost want to show
Them how bad it can be
To just let them see

But i just sit silently
I want to scream violently
But i never do

So instead i just write
From all these thoughts in my head
I used to wish i was dead
But now i can see
How it all made me
Who im supposed to be
Well im not there yet
But my life its not set
Im growing
And i hope its showing
So tho it was painful
Im in an odd way grateful
Not for who else was hurt
But for the way iv grown since

Today was one of those days
Where nothing goes wrong
But still life has its ways
Where it all feels too long

Nothing really happened
The world didn't end
But still you feel a rend
It's like your hearts a little bent

For no particular reason
Yiu just keep failing
Its not simply a season
And for an instant you think about bailing

But you keep on pushing
And you just have to trust
Its like your on a wing
And suddenly you see rust
And your heart leaps
But deep inside
Your heart still beats
Because you see the wing is wide
And you know you can trust
In the pikot of the plane
And though occasionally
Your faith will wain
The pilots is better than Sully
So you keep your head up
And thank your lucky stars
That your above all these cars
That you can see the world
And so you breathe and look out
And you smile and lose your doubt
Because you put your faith
Not in the plane
But in the one who flies it.

Im consumed by these thoughts
I hate these feelings
That i just cant cross
Out of my mind and dreamings

They consume me
I dont want too
But here i am i can see
How all i can think of is you

Its all you fault
For making me like you
For consuming me every thought
And it ***** cuz ik you cant like me too

So im just stuck here
With these emotions
And i dont want to care
So these thoughts i try to shun

But i cant stop myself
I really have tried
Its not like iv cried
Over you
Its just sad
That you will never like me too

The dark has come again
I don't think I'll ever win
It'san uphill war
Is there any more?

More to this life
Than this endless strife
I can't stay away from this knife

It rules me
It tells me who to be
And i obey
I follow all the way

I bow down
I give it the crown
And so on i drown

I feel so stuck
In this endless muck
I watch as others move on
They have won

But I'm still lost

I feel so different now
Its like a weight is lifted
Its so amazing how
All my views have shifted

Its like i can finally see
I feel renewed within
Here begins a new me
Christ has freed me from sin

Im no longer consumed by shame
Im not burdened by guilt
I look to you and know your name
My soul no longer wilts

Im a new creature
What is this sudden change?
I feel almost pure
Its such a sudden change

My mind was all dark
I was consumed by hate
But then you spoke to me like a beautiful lark
Your words were of love and it was like a grate

You pushed me out of my comfort zone
It was so hard
But now suddenly i actually feel at home
I no longer feel alone

I know you love me
Its like for the first time i see
Its you who i want to be
I want to resemble you more
So in my heart i will store
Your word i want to memorize
Your people i want to know
I want to actually show
How i feel in my heart
I wish i had from the start
But i can see all this time
Your hand working in me
Even when i was close
To taking my life
Even in the darkness and the strife
I can see how you took away the knife
And gave me something so much better
Your water will make my thirsty soul wetter
Your love i want to show
And slowly i hope to grow
I truy do love you Lord

I want write
To express how i feel
But i cant do it right
So on my knees i kneel

When i have no words
When i can't speak
When i can't move forwards
When im too weak

I call out to you
I cry out your name
And often i just cry too
And you wash away my shame

You give me your love
You give me your grace
It dosnt matter wether im enough
You wipe the tears from my face

I open my eyes
I can finally see
How i have believed such lies
And you show me who i am to be

I can see your hands and feet
I can see you working
In the people i meet
I can see how you are the king