Sometimes it's surprising,
How it's fun to do some writing,
And to spend a little bit of time
alone.

I just don't answer the phone,
They can talk after the tone,
I'm not so worried about
what they need to say.

So I wake up every day,
And then I start to feel this way
that all the People are  
really wearing me down

So then i'm walking around,
losing it all over town,
And i'm just waiting it out,
To get back home.

So I get back to my place,
You know that I don't hesitate
To quickly take myself a seat
and jot one down.

And then i'm up late at night,
And now i'm having a fight,
With this ******' keyboard
I never win.

trouble in the city
no loyalty in your vision
trouble in your mind
no passion in movement

pull the trigger if your life isn't your home
pull the trigger if your home is in someone's heart
if they drop it, lose your feelings

i climbed up the mountains and I havent yet found reason in seasons

dont look for me in your purse like the grief in your heart

gold days are deceiving

and black clouds are refreshing

I've never felt this way about anything significant other than a drawing I still have since I was in 1st grade


I've lost a few feelings along the years

I'll never feel the same

Bold and bright,
It strikes at night,
Illuminating,
Giving sight,

Followed by thunder,
hidden wonder,
heartfelt raindrops,
Taking flight.

Lost for years,
with faithful fears,
always close,
Still in sight.

If I'm stuck,
Out in the storm,
I'll be home soon,
To keep you warm.

I have a thing for loving and hating time.

What is time? A limit limit.

The sun and the moon don't determine what I get to do at a certain time in between the 24 hours in the day, time heals the wound, but there's also time to remember how much you've lost.

What is good?
What is bad?

A title to your actions based on your thoughts?

I'm confused, and I just woke up.

I'm scared of dentists picking at my teeth
I'm scared of all my friends turning their backs on me
I'm scared of everyone feeling the same way about everything
I want the sky to be a propeller and rain my feelings to everyones heart for insight and maybe one day they can do the same so I can have insight
I just wanna know what you think
I just wanna know what everyone thinks
I wanna know what kind of music they listen to that makes them feel a certain way
I have a lot to feel in the coming years
So please stay in my voyage and let's talk about what haunts your thoughts before you go to sleep

Theres this guy named David Bojay.. hes like one of my closetest friends.. not many people know his story or what he has gone through but he opened up to me and told me everything.. i didnt know how to react or what to say.. everything he told me , you would never think he would go through because of how chill, funny, polite he is.. Once he told me , i worried about him and i thought differently about him because he was a great friend and i didnt want anything to happen to him..

if only you guys knew how great this guy is , you would understand why im writing this.. me and him have gone through practically the same ****.. hes like my twin but come from different familys.. honestly consider him my brother. i try not to stay to distant from him but lately weve been busy and weve been really distant.. his story is my story.. god brought us together for a reason , maybe he is the one that is leading back to the right path because before i was ****** up in the mind and i was a trouble maker.. lately ive been chilling with him and lately ive just been quiet and acting better.. all thanks to my bestfriend David Bojay.

i grew up in a stressful, painful childhood. no one understood how hurt i am and what i feel from time to time. i sit in a dark room and look up at the ceiling and think ' whats my purpose for being here.' i have many people who care for me but i just sit back and push them away because i dont know who is really true to stick by me and whos just playing me ready to walk away.

is it worth it to self harm ? is it safe to run into the dark ? is it okay to block everything out of your life and do whatever you want because you know that no one matters to you anymore? Every day i sit around my house by myself and wonder how many people truly care and love me. when something good happens to me i think its just a dream and it doesnt mean anything. i look around the world everyday and wonder why everyone is so happy and why cant i be happy like them.

my dad left me when i was younger , i saw when he beat my mother and i just sat there and cried because i was just a young boy. my mom thinks im a disappointment because of everything ive done to the family. she wants nothing to do with me. i feel like why was i born if i have no purpose on earth. maybe i do have a purpose and maybe i just dont know it but when i find my purpose ill finally be free. ive runaway from home , ive done drugs , ive been caught , why dont i just face the fact that im a **** up and no one wants to deal with me anymore..

I was flying high up in the clouds, i didnt know where i was going but i was interested to find out where i would end up at. I was filled with questions and wanted answers. "where was i going?" "Is it a good place?" I hoped to find the answers i wanted and thought if i ever would at some point. "Where am i heading too?" I was heading to a big cloud right above my head. I approach it. The first thing i saw was a gate with the words "heaven." I was filled with thoughts. "Am I really? Am I really dead?" As I approach the gate I was looking around, and saw an angel flying by. "What am I doing here?" I thought and then i thought that i really did not belong here. I got woken up by my brother shaking me and asking if i was ok. He said i was asking weird questions. Luckily it was a dream. It felt so real that i remember the details of the angels face. Im scared..

when i became a menace to myself,
i found myself voluntarily doing the impossible
and the only possible action i could do is breathe and hum along to songs,
rhythmic patterns that build me and straighten my knees up
my eyes were looking down at the fractures on the earth, looking at my fingers stick out the dry yellow dead grass
my degradation was thought to be six feet below
i’m 5’6 and my fingers sticking out were reaching towards a tower of magic and happy prisons
dreams of sceneries, full of laughter and reassurance
full of trust and rich environments
and not even a trickle above a gram of *******, can make you seem this close to Gods feet
and you’ll share playlists to the ones who want to fly without wings off of buildings
and re-up for their sake
you’ll see the variant in the sky you cried to for years
and arrogate your state of emotion
you’ll be gone