maybe she was cursed to live like this

feeling all alone and left out in a world filled with love and happiness
the angels won't hear you crying when you are locked up in the hell
they aren't there to save you once again because you ****** up again
or maybe this was all her own little stupid fault, her mistake, blame me

nights like this I shouldn't be drinking, not even one glass
it makes me think things I dont wanna think, do thing I dont wanna do
I shouldn't have taken this so far and maybe you were right in the end
doing the things I did never made my life any better it made it worse

she always thought wolves were the most beautiful creatures
they would cry there whole life for something they could never touch
the wolves always reminded her of when she was just a little girl
she always cried for attention, from anyone but she could never touch

and now 6 years later she is sitting on the ground thinking about
who she was back than and how far she have come
that she could live a beautiful life with this never ending curse
that she needed to accept that the sadness will always haunt her.

the demons made her strong and dark
but now its time to follow the river of light.

they say that time heals wounds
but I found out creating my own wounds
heal alot more than time could ever do

that morning there was blood on my sheets
that night I cried a thousand tears on my pillow

sad kids walking the streets these days
their arm filled with beautiful scars

and for the first time I found comfort in having my demons near me
I found a little bit of my home back in this darkness, this is a part of me

birds they are flying, the sun is shining
everything around me is slowly dying

the party was getting started and all I wanted was to get away
I wanted to run away from all these dancing, drunken youngsters
I remember this night so clearly, the music was so so loud

oh pretty darling here we are again
lying on the floor with demons whispering things
telling you stories about blood and death, terrible things

they will say that all of this is your own fault
so please don't tell a single soul about what you did last night

I made a mess again,
please help me to clean it up this time.

last night it was exactly a year ago it happend
there were sad words leaving my pencil, I wrote a letter
a letter to say goodbye to everyone who once loved me or didn't

I was dancing with the demons in my mind, it was good
I was singing songs with my shadows, songs with the broken ones
and the devil was watching me from a close distance

my socks were ***** and the ***** bottles were empty
I don't even remember what happend to me that night

all I wanted was to create art when I woke up that morning
drowing in pain and tears, I wanted to make a painting
a painting with sad colors, like grey and black and navy blue
a masterpiece filled with my blood, my pain, my empty emotions

it were the pills I swallowed that night to keep me from falling appart
it were the blades rushing over my veins that made me feel alive
all these lose things, all these things, the visions of monsters, the pain
all the tears I cried that night, the alcohol I drank to keep me calm

but still it was your beautiful smile that haunted me, killed me
your pretty eyes and wonderful angel face that made me wanna live
you were all I could think of from the moment we first met, forever

it was you and only you.

it was yesterday when the screaming started
there was blood on the floor, your mum was crying
I can't remember the last time I saw you smile, happy
you once told me this story about angels, about demons

this boy never felt like he belonged here, this was not his home
the world we live in is so beautiful, so wonderful but not for him
darkness always found it's way to strangle him when he was alone
thoughts about falling appart, breaking, terrible thoughts about dying

it was at night when these creatures came to haunt him
the innocent soul of this boy couldn't protect him, never
almost every day when the moon met the nightsky, the stars
it was time for the monsters to wake him up and torture him

the tears he had cried were expressed in different types of scars
no single soul in the world could understand the way he felt

it was yesterday when the screaming started
there was blood on the floor, your mum was crying
and maybe I wished you had took me with you, above

you once told me you wanted it this way, it needed to happen
you were so afraid, so scared of these monsters in the dark
your own soul was playing sick little games with you

so tomorrow will be a new day and I will be there
alive and breathing, for myself and for you darling
and every single day I will be thinking about him

this oh so lovely boy with his brown eyes and beautiful smile
the boy who got haunted by demons, haunted by himself

I always thought he looked like an angel
and now he is one..

if I could give my life a color I would choose the color blue

the bruises on my body are telling stories my mouth never could
waking up at 5 am in the morning, tired and afraid but still smiling
a smile you created everytime I think of you, making me feel complete

and if there comes a times you want to leave than maybe you should
I learned that you can't make home's out of human beings so I shouldn't  
but please before you really go think twice about this and stay with me

I always loved the fact you made up your owns songs and melodies
you played the music on your black guitar, songs about stars and rain
riddels about how you wanna change the world, about how you feel
this girl was her own kind of person, she was so special and so beautiful

and again it's 5 am and I can't stop thinking about how I need you
breathing without you being near me is a lot harder than I imagined
the world loses it's color when we are not together, the world is grey
not that grey is a bad thing, we need to learn how to live like this..

my bruises speak a thousand words, my scars do too
but all the words they have ever spoken need to be our secret
I need to protect myself from the world and everything in it..

but please don't stop loving me
even if the demons are getting closer..