its over
i know you love me
but this is broken
and strained
the distance too great

so its over
my objections held taught in my mouth
the whole world tipping over flipping south
our voices strained
the distance closed

its over
its over
its over

So ungrateful So spoiled So rude
Way to go and ruin the mood
Go sit in your room don't talk to me
Just be the kid we never see

Darling the world was our stage
life brought forth from a dusty page
when you sighed into my ear
before we knew of fear

Now I write distant melodies
of our favorite tragedies
as you leave this life behind
to give yourself peace of mind

Close you weary eyes to look at me
Tell me my love, whatever do you see?
The sun shines slowly on our love
life, flying like a lonely dove

and you, you still look at me
and you, you are all I see
and the sun, burns your lovely wings
and its just as the bluebird sings.

I see a cigarette
It's almost disappointing how many times
my poetry turns into prose at the mention
of a cigarette

because they represent everything I long for
in the wrong ways
and they taste so good
but they're not something I would die for

instead they remain in the past
or the present or in the **** presence that rings
softly in my ears begging me to come back
to quietly but swiftly move past

Often times I wonder
as I sit in my little car
in my little town
with my little friends

if the world is bigger than I?

Then I realize this life is too short to squander
and the past is now too far
to keep yesterdays frown
for life never truly ends

And I smile secretly at the sky

They tell me that the romantics
had a curious way about
the way they loved and hated
and the things of which they wrote

Their love is better best forgotten now

Still they amazed me with their antics
their scandals the world still loves to shout
the way they so simply and wordily stated
like the world's chaos was their little note

So in their image, do I dare to grow?

The eyes close in discontent
At least I don't pay the **** rent
supposedly sobbing and suffering aren't sufficient
for a highschooler without serious intent

My boyfriend said it was sad
I didn't write poetry like I had
when we met

I couldn't find the words to tell him
that the words felt like stabs gone crim-
son after the knifes movement was set

so what does that say about me now?
that I write with passion I don't know how
to express without regret

I'm sorry if I'm too easy
for a friend of a friend
but i get too queasy
trying to play pretend

see I've been playing this game
shove in the tape hit re-wind
enough to know nothing ain't the same
so come on over and tell me what to find

it starts out slow
enough to let you think
then right before you know
the world begins to sink

my laughs contagious when I laugh at everything
call me crazy or a pick me up too
he won't bring a diamond ring
but we smile and say boohoo

So there I was leaning against the wall
sulking as all heavens be
wishing my love could live closer
and then closer still to me

and the last song of night gave me a terrible fright
I had never fallen in love till I met you
and one random boy with pierced ears and the likes
did the hook and reel right through

I dare not say I like him at all
no my heart elsewhere still resides
but for second the gloom and the stink of the night
took up its claws and hides

I'm your mothers favorite bad influence
Perfect and in line enough
to ignore the major red flags that should induce reluctance
and instead label me hard working and tough
the perfect girl to get to know

I'm who your father thought he would be
music that grates and teeth bared just sharp enough
an idea of who to be and the will to be free
smooth around the edges but inside too rough
the kind of seed in you he'd like to sow

I'm the disgrace with a pretty little face
and the intelligence to lie
and get by with just enough grace
so that one day this persona may die
as I fade from their neat little row

They wilt with us you know
the flowers, in winter, in the snow

and we know that flowers come back
but I'm not sure I do

All colorful and fun and smelling sweet
that life, so free, nothing can beat

but I quite enjoy melting in their light
my personal cacophony

I don't know if this is lipstick or blood
That I wipe from my mouth

Is it mine or yours?

Your fingers intertwined with mine
knuckles red and white

Is this America?

when your face turned blue
and everyone in the room knew
and it's mine
every fault in this **** earth

Then I wipe from my mouth
And I don't know if it's blood or lipstick

I’m sorry there’s never anything in my mind
What even is there to find
worth keeping in this messed up brain
That will only cause confusion
                   and pain

The mirror is my best friend
When we sit and talk about how it all could end
Then we cry (but we’re both silent)  
Me and my mirror, always so violent
we finally depart
Then I **** myself it’s time for a fresh start

But the moonlight reveals all of my lies
                         You should just feed me to the flies..
You’re holding onto dust
Confusing grief and longing for lust
                  But it's okay, I'm just insane
With eyes that leak like rain

My moonlight
                      You shine so bright
Drawing me in when its cold
A myth so often told
So real so true just for me
                      So bright- all I can see
Is you
                       So new
My moonlight you hold my heart
With you perhaps I can restart

But you’re just a kid-
So who am I to have learned love
From somewhere other
Than home

What a sentence
That almost borders on prose
To be just a kid…

Ignorance and bliss I suppose
Rhyme schemes and sparking trees
That make up for depth and feeling

Because I’m just a kid

What a lovely coincidence
That this rooms has such a nice echo

What a lovely coincidence
We both learned how to let go

What a lovely coincidence
we're in the same town at the same time
even though I never left
and you said you would never come home

What a lovely coincidence
we both found someone new in this hazardous biodome
untouched by such a large rift
aren't we the size of dime?

What a lovely coincidence
That you no longer remember me

What a lovely coincidence
That I'm only 17

This is going to ruin us
It’s going to pour salt into a valley
And let the ice caps unthaw like a pile of ****
With all the emotion trapped within
I’ll wake up alone
You’ll wake up with no message on your phone
And we’ll say we did our best
Till the very end
When the sun got too hot
When the wings melted at the ascend

We won’t tell them we held the key
Our solar system depended on our hearts
That knew from the start
They were better off far apart
I'll hold your hand and say goodbye
You'll say you'd rather die
And when that day will come
When our fate we can’t out-run
When I meet your eyes
We won't even say hi

I smelt the snow that covered the parking lot
Too early to live- too late to close my eyes

It had a familiar tang to the linger sting in the air
My youth- stuck to the back of my throat

In memories of grandmas on christmas day
Preparing desserts that would never taste the same again

Mixed with the exhaust of a cold winter morning
The taint of growing old and fading tree lights

I smelt the snow that covered the parking lot
Too soon i remembered where i was- too soon i opened my eyes

I sit perched
Not perched but perfectly placed
By the door in english classroom
In the english hallway
Four doors down from the end

The air here is warm
Though this morning it must have been below
Below the freezing point for water
And my engine

And from my perfectly placed seat
I can see
The yellow leaves
Warm against the approaching winters wind

Though it is only September

The classroom- full of life
But only in the sense that
A dozen kids sit taking a quiz
Worth nothing but a number in a book

The life makes it warm
Or is it the fans above
Man made just not by man
No, not man but a fan and a shadow of man

When the yellow leaves echo the cold
When the door closes
And the light
Fades with the warmth

The phrase
A *****
Relationship
Sparks memories
In the back
Of my healing
Torn
Heart

But what defines the word *****?
(The dirt beneath my nails)
(the blood beneath the dirt)
Who says it has to be between two people?
(the hand on the arm)
(the arm on the floor)
(the floor cradling the flame)
Still its swimming and swimming
(sinking is another word)
(sinking, swimming, sinking, swimming)
The judgment peeking out from their eyes
(they’re crying too)
(they’re crying alone)
At the word *****

I looked into your eyes
                                    I looked and you faded
The end of my finger tips
Trailing
                                                              Yo­ur heart
Farther                      and                           farther
                                                                ­                                     Away
Than before
But I could never ask you to stay

The mirrors clouded over now
                                                       I
Cant find
                                                    You

Except in the pictures hanging on the walls
Hanging
             In the room
                                I lost the key to
                                                         Before you even left

How splendid is it
For your soul
To be a home
To everyone you've ever known

In your eyes
I can see the thoughts spinning
Opening the closed book
Taking the pen for one more look

The bridges
Burned down the road
The ashes
Still stuck to your wheel as you go