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  Feb 2016 Lindsey Nicole Isbell
JL
I retreat into myself
Into the corridors of me
I lounge on the well worn flagstones
Gazing on the marble columns
Arranging tapestries and paintings in
A more perfect order
I stalk down old hallways and explore unnamed galleries with a
Single candle to push back the deep
Sometimes rooms are filled with old Furniture
Sometimes entirely empty
Once feeling brave I held onto
The threshold of such a room and
Stretching out I hold the candle aloft in the chasm. Nothingness, darkness complete the light puddles at my feet pitiful.
When I recall that yawning abyss the silence of
It persists.
In ballrooms I play Chopin's waltzs' for no one  in particular
Yet I take my bow and my place at the head of a table set for a score of kings
I lay on marble steps trying to guess the riddles that my echo whispers
I climb the  towers and the spires to dizzying heights and many weeks I was lost in the labyrinth of cellars of basements of tombs beneath
I have seen strange things lately: a chair upturned or
Bed unmade, quills still wet, and doors open and shut of their own volition in the inky black
I swear I have seen before
A tall figure in a hooded cloak dart
Into the shadows, and it did not seem
Altogether human

I read for years inside my library  
And have spoken at length to Shakespeare and Plato
I have seen Yggdrasil and the seven hells
And sped through time with
H.G Wells. Of death and moon, of birds and galaxies I am enamored.
Tea with Julius Ceaser, chess with Captain Hook.
Breakfast with The Buddah
Coffee with The Christ
Did you know that Captain Ahab takes His water with a squeeze of lime? No Ice. Abraham Lincoln and Mark Twain know me by my first name, I have fenced with the Gods of Olympus and of Asgard and I remain undefeated. The divine crowd my hearth and many nights have been passed here in quiet conversation, with Confucius, with Archimedes, with Epictetus, Davinci, and the brothers Grimm
I have lived ten thousand lives and Will live another ten

-Without a single thought of you-

I wander
To my garden
Gently lit by paper lanterns
The path is smooth and heady
The amber blossoms
And weathered sculptures
Make my eyelids heavy
Monuments with fists clenched beat my
Ego ******
New flowers sprout from the ivy throat
Always things are grown but never overgrowing
I steal through the hedge maze that only I know
To the secret center where no plant grows
Pavilion and pond
Where no bird sings year long
In that quiet I endeavor
To look without fear
Into the pupil of forever
Some say writing is a good outlet
Some say writting is a good inlet
Bright as a warm summer day
Radiant like the moon
As beautiful as the stars
This is my love for you
As strong as the mountains
Constant like trees
Forever I will be
Loyal like a dog
As wide as the sea
This is what you get from me
As sacrificing as a soldier
Protective as an army
Sometimes green with envy
Don't want to share like a child
Spoiled worse than rotten food
I give you these things too
Even if they aren't the best
All of me belongs to you
The last one for today
As vast as the universe
My love for you will never grow old
Like Peter Pan
In you I've found my Neverland.
I don't want to hear the words
"You are apart of us"
Leave your lips ever again
Please just stop trying to pretend
I'll never be apart of the duo
Because this love isn't meant for a trio

Don't try not to hurt my feelings
I'm fine
Just tell me like it is
You are fond of me I know
It just won't ever be like her

Don't beat yourself up
I understand
I'm not meant to hold your hands
You have each other
It's alright
I can find my own way tonight

You tell me I'm apart of you
But everyone can see it isn't true
When the topic best friend is spotlight
She is the only highlight
I guess I'm just not made for friends these days
But I'll stick around and watch over you
As if that's what I'm meant to do
Even with the quiet ones
I'm the quiet girl
The antisocial one
But it's not all my fault
I can't help I feel unwanted
And left out
I get tired of forcing my way inside
I just want to be included
Even if I don't always say much
I don't mind just being with you guys
When you make me feel like I'm not a ghost
But tonight
I'm a ghost
Translucent
Im not a social person
But I don't want to be lonely
Even with everyone here
I don't feel like I'm someone
I'm see through
I wish I could read you
Just open you up
Find all the things you won't tell me yourself
I'd know how to love you
How not to cause you pain
I'd know how to make you happy again

I'll open up for you
Show you all of my pages
Even the torn ones barely worth reading
You can pick at my spin and play with my heart
Just promise you won't tear me apart

Just let me read you
Let me in
Tell me the stories hidden deep in you're pages
I want to know where you've been
I want to see where you'll go
I want to be the best lover you will ever know

I'd never tell your secrets
But I'll show you mine
I'd never expose you're fears
But I'll share with you mine

I want to read your story
And know it all that I can
Hold your hands
Watch as your book grows with mine
Until maybe one day they both combine
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