"I want to be a boxer" he said
Stomping his foot, his face red.
Angry at God for not making it happen
Now! Before his resolve does slacken

"I've got the skills for it." he whines
He neglects his practice half the time
He doesn't realise, it seems,
The difference between a hobby and a dream

"I've won many a fight!" he shouts
Those brawls with friends don't really count.
He did once won the junior championship
And into each conversation, he lets that slip.

"I can make it!" he says, His gloats, incessant
His actions, childish, His views, arrogant.
“Life’s so unfair!” he always cries
Though with all his heart, he never tries

He’s chasing the rush of winning a battle
But at the thought of war, his courage rattles
“If only I could follow my dream…” he muses  
One day perhaps he’ll run out of excuses

His wistful eyes gaze at boxing rings,
Lost in the visions of glory they bring.
“It’s my calling.” He brags, unable to see
The clear path leading him to his “destiny”

On self -made hurdles, he always trips.
It seems on reality he’s losing his grip.
In this mind, there is ample confusion
On the difference between a dream and delusion

As time passes, one day it’ll be clear
That all that stopped him was his own fear
But until then, he lets the truth be unheard
For isn’t it easier to keep blaming the world?

“Everyone goes through this,” they say, comfortingly
“Everyone gets over it.” I hear, disheartened
“So many people care about you.” They say, encouragingly
“Don’t disappoint those who care for you.” I hear, dejected
“You’ve done so much to be proud of!” They say, smiling
“What happened to the you who did things?” I hear, terrified
“This happens to me all the time; don’t worry.” They say, reassuring
“Be better.” I hear. I’m not you. And I’m petrified.  
“These things take time. Be patient.” They say, concerned
“Get over it already.” I hear, numb
“Ignore your brain trying to get you down.” They say, supportive
“Don’t trust yourself.” I hear. Save me. I’m not ok.
I’m afraid of my own feelings.
“This is normal.” They say.
I spend 3 hours just staring at the ceiling.
“Take it one step at a time.”
I feeling like I’m slowly withering away.
“Don’t give up!”
I’m just going through the motions everyday
“See? You’re getting better!” They say, cheerful.
For them, I try
“I’m fine.” I say, hesitant and fearful
They believe me, satisfied.
*I’m a liar.

His mother sits on the white bed
All the tests have been run
The doctor stands ready to tell him
The diagnosis has been done

The doctors speaks and he's saying
The words he's dreaded for so long
He wants to run away and cry
But she needs him  to be strong

He chokes back his tears
He really doesn't know what to do
He curses the fact that it's his mother
That cancer's sunk its claws into

More visits and tests lie ahead
His ordeal has now begun
He tries to take comfort in the fact
That they caught it at Stage One

But no number of reassurances
Can shake his fear away
At night, he prays feverently
"Please make this cancer leave today."

He never believed in God
But now he's lost faith in science
They try their best to **** the beast
But Cancer stares back in defiance

His mother talks of happy memories
It feels like she's saying goodbye
He tries to laugh while he holds her hamd
But tears keep flowing from his eyes

"I can beat this" his mother says
She smiles her gentle motherly smile
He feels his fear lessen a bit
He'll stay with her till the last mile

He'll laugh and smile and stay strong for her
Come what may in the end
God and science abandoned him
So instead, he'll just believe in her strength

Sorry is an understatement
For all I've caused in my cruel life
I guess there is no measurement
I've brought misery and strife

How can I erase all my mistakes?
Can I take back every word?
All the lies and hearts I did break
And ease those I disturbed

Regret is clogging my mind
And has taken over my rage
If only I could rewind
And show how much I've changed

I will wait until they deem me fit
Of their forgiveness or not
You don't know how good you have it
Until it is lost