you knew me well enough to know
that i had a hard time
letting go of my past
and i knew you well enough to know
that you had a fear of being forgotten.
maybe that's why you decided to leave
and be part of my past;
i never could forget it,
never could forget you,
no matter how hard i tried.

you froze in fear
as i came at you with a knife in hand
to cut off the hand of the one behind you
about to twist the knife into your back

Walls
Askilter

Sounds
Linger

Voices
Whisper

Lights
Flicker

Mi­ce
Skitter

Snakes
Slither

And somewhere
Nearby

A monster lurks.

Dear monster underneath my bed,
You scare me
Even though you're dead.

And though a lurking ghost you be,
My horrid monster
You scare me.

Everything inside has been
Simmering,
Waiting,
Burning deeply
Just for today
And now finally,
It can erupt
Bringing springs into my steps,
Wider, real smiles,
A pleasant additude,
And everything sugar and spice.

But guess what?
I got rid of the chemical x and the spice,
so all I have is
The sweet, sweet, sugar!

Don't you dare
Forget this smile.
This is the real me,
Flying through colors of ecstasy,
Like a little airplane
Floating through the air
Sprinkling
Little packets of happiness down to the ground.
I hope someone opens these packages.

You laughed awkwardly
Sorry I didn't mean to
Asking who you like randomly
Was a weird thing to do
Curiousity gets ahead of me
So I let it out of me
Wondering who you like
Could be a pain or my happiness

Anaemic black mist creeps its way between toes,
crawling eyewards, worming stealthily up shins,
pausing only to cup bolted knees and find more
progress toward the stomach's pit where it will rest,
For now.

The soaking - from outside in - is a violation as a pore
stretched aside is all the space this ten tonne mass
needs - a callused finger pulling back a fleshy curtain
to claim squatter's rights - mashing its body into a crawl space,
It curls.

Right here, in the depths, it will feed from its host and
gradually weave a tendril through intestines and bile
like a periscope, seeking and feeling for a route to the stem:
The source of everlasting sustenance;
The end goal.

Once it latches, it will live forever suckling stance.
The insipid parasite, the binding leech; as it takes hold,
consumes with its voidwalker embrace
and paints every memory with your fault;
Perpetual guilt.

Your song on repeat
like a soundtrack to pain
and with every listen
I feel you again
Just as soon as I forgot
but I can't let you go
now that you've tugged my sleeve
and pleaded me, no

But your face in my mind
is not close to me anymore
I looked through the window
just as you closed the door
and saw you glance back
but never turn around
Some things that are lost
are dead and can't be found

The song of your heart
I understood back then
too well to believe now
I'll never see you again
You were a sister to me,
so your brother is my brother, too
Now you are his brother
and I don't know what to do

except to sing
except to miss you