Stop crying, you poor, stubborn girl

Why do you think he is so special
When he took the most delicate parts of you
And decided they were ordinary?

Why do you think he is an angel
If he can sleep at night knowing
How heavy your heart feels?

Why do you think he was the one
If he did not have the patience to stay?

You will find that true love surpasses all barriers

So do not be upset that you have lost him
If he was destiny, he would have stayed

Because nothing can get in the way of destiny
Not even stubborn little girls like you

do not let him take a part of you with him when he leaves
you will receive no portion of him to carry with you like an unlucky charm
and he does not deserve any bit of you if he declares he is leaving


you cannot think of this as a loss of your other half
for you are not a half but a whole, passionate, ferocious being
with teeth sharper than he knew what to do with
a love stronger than he could’ve ever returned


and one day
he may be prepared
but you must let him know that it is too late


for you will find someone else
who lifts from the knees to take on your heart
and they will give you stability
and they will carry it well
and you’ll be strong enough by then
to carry theirs in return


and you realize you are two individuals
and not fragmented halves

my writings are my own darkness,
my own little room  -
its a lonesome
space.

in here i crouch
and see the nothingness
as i drown myself
in the stillness it brings
and the numbing
silence
i surrender...


@pax

major waterways
are connected
for a reason

please do not
remain
in your own
stagnant pond

I stopped waiting by the phone
I stopped pressing my glass to the wall
straining for vicarious sound
I stopped waiting for distraction
to prevent me getting bored

I am alone
I am alone
but feel loneliness
only when I feel I ought to
The rest of the time
it is music
or the silence in between

I stopped pacing the floor
as if movement meant
I was doing something

I stopped looking for love
as if desire were the same
as feeling something for someone

As if holding out for change
was as good as holding a person
as if sleeping alone
caused dreams without reason
as if snatches of warmth
gave purpose to the seasons

I stopped collecting forget-me-nots
I stopped bleeding out my liberal heart
every time there was suffering
or hate in the spaces where
love should have been

I stopped waiting for someone
to doctor the still
where sorrow pervaded
the canned laughter of living

I stopped looking for someone
it was only then
I could start forgiving