They say patience is a virtue
but patience is more than a virtue
it's a state of mind
it's a way of life
it kills the soul
and causes the heart stress and excessive beats
most times patience takes a lot of practice
and lasts for what seems like
F
O
R
E
V
E
R
but the longer it lasts
the harder it becomes
to be patient
you want answers
to your questions
you want the grade
for that paper
you want the date
of happiness to come
you want the girl
or the guy
you want something and the patience to wait for it
kills you!
But when your patience is running thin
and you feel like giving in
just remember that I'm here
being patient too
and even though it's
KILLING ME
I will continue to live in
patience
because some things
are worth being patient for....

Am I supposed to say that I'm okay?


Or should I say what's really on my mind?


Would anyone even listen?


The room starts to spin
My mind gets confused.
And my eyes close...
Accepting my new reality....
Bright lights shine before me


And for some odd reason

there is nothing keeping me from chasing after the lights

into the darkness
and abyss
i want to just leave this place
and find a new reality
among-st the stars
and galaxies

is this what heart break feels like?

early mornings,
puffy eyes,
tear stained cheeks,
love songs,
snuggled beneath the sheets,
pain clouds my eyes,
vision blurred,
as i slip into the past and the memories..

"it wasn't ever supposed to end"
a phrase i repeat over and over in my head

coldness
shock
pain
heart ache
will it all ever leave?

I want to be angry
to lash out
to punch the wall
to make everyone feel
what i feel
but for some reason
my body won't get angry
my hands won't roll into fists
my attitude won't lash out
and my words speak nothing but kindness

Our world is accepting of anything
that doesn't condemn it's actions

speak out against the hate

promise change

require everything

and is unable to be wrong.



And this my friend is why the world hated Christ

Christ called them what they were

he said it as it was

he made people uncomfortable with where they were

he urged people to change

required everything they had

asked them to forsake all they knew

and follow him

and the world stood by and looked at him

some accepted him

some laughed at him

but that didn't stop him

no, he kept begging for their souls

pleading for their lives

and eventually he even died for them

and some accepted him

and others mocked him

refusing to accept this perfect man

God's only son

but it doesn't matter if they mock

because one day they will

all have to answer to him

you were not mine to have...
but I took you anyways

your love was not mine to enjoy
but I enjoyed it anyways

I took of what was not mine
and I enjoyed what I should never have experienced

where was the harm?
where was the pain?
the sorrow?

it was no where to be found..
because even though it was all wrong it was
ohh so right!
nothing became official
it was simply a need to be basis

but somehow I feel like I needed you more
than you needed me..
and I wanted you more
than you wanted me
and I constantly reminded myself

that you were not mine to have
but I took you anyways
and your love was not mine to enjoy
but I enjoyed it anyways...

where was the harm?
where was the pain?
the sorrow?

it was no where to be found
because there were no "strings" attached to us
just words between the two of us..

where does it go from here?
we just keep speaking
as though all this never even happened

I took of what was not mine
and enjoyed what I never should have experienced