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 Dec 2014 Katie Worden
wordvango
must have a crispy crust
   sweet insides
must be apples
    from Eden
Pumpkin pie
      will be served
with homemade whipped
      cream
I bake cakes and origami do
      crochet and add sachet
to chicken
     ignore when you choke upon
or disagree
    beat off if
necessary
   go on caring
about all I see,
    the least leaf
or blade of grass
    or one molecule
living
    I put out
heartfelt thanks to
    all Nature
puts upon my
   meager table.
I bow
   down.
I never
   give up.
How loud did I have to scream to be seen?
As the dirt fills my lungs I forget what It feels like to breathe
I became a ghost searching for the light that never came.
Someone turn the lights out, I'm too tired to stay awake.
 Dec 2014 Katie Worden
ahmo
A brief, but passionate inhale.
Who would have thought,
of the autumn in her eyes?

A sweet, delicate voice.
A beautiful sound to detect.
And never forget.
And never regret*.

The stud of a nose
Her own clothes and eloquent verbose
An unheard of strength
That she shrugs off like dirt.

And she knows of Dad.
Because she has been there too.
Not just for the smell of *****,
Or for the pain of just one bruise,
But for the depth behind
A clenched fist
and the struggle for eye contact.

It was 6 AM.
In the autumn.
And things just happen.
But see,
it wasn't just a thing.
It couldn't be.
The way I held your hair
And hid it safely behind your ear.
And accepted the kiss
That my fear could not initiate myself.

It was the blue,
And the blonde.
The black of the beanie,
And the spots of the sweater.
It was the look
and the smile
and the inhale.

And then
it was the stars.
And the stone wall.
And the Boston skyline.
It was the teasing.
and the alcohol
and the spot by the river.
And it was autumn in her eyes.

It was heaven in the trembling of my knees,
and in that kick in the shin,
and in the brownie brittle,
and in the passionate kiss in the room upstairs.
It was hell in the uncertainty.

And as the time will pass,
We will attract or repel.
Naturally.
And where this ambiguity chills me to the bone,
I find autumn in her eyes.
(n.)*: the kind of truth that makes your voice crack, no matter how many times you say it aloud
Confusion
Deception
Life's possessions

Breathing
Conceiving
Life's bleeding

Mindless
Spineless
Life's unkindness

Careful
Tearful
Life's doubtful
How unkind life can be?
 Dec 2014 Katie Worden
-a
12.5.14
 Dec 2014 Katie Worden
-a
Staring at death right in face.
I never would have imagined what it feels like to loose everything.
I never thought I would know what empty space felt like.
I never thought it would end up being me.
The girl with everything figured out now has dark thoughts. Is always haunted by thoughts and feeling nothing.
I never thought I wouldn't be able to breathe, but it feels as if life is suffocating me.

So I drink. I drink to fill the void. But it never seems to leave me alone.

There's no one to turn to except the monsters in my head. Burning every bridge. So I stand on the opposite side and watch them go up in flames.
I stand there in hopes that maybe someone will hear my cries.

But if a depressed girl screams and everyone is around to hear it,
Did she really scream at all?

-a.
Is my love for you
An old dream
A weird thought
A drowned memory
Cold realism
I came on too strong,
and I rubbed your soul wrong.
Now I'm strung along
by a silent, unloved song.
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