when you care too much it breaks you, shatters you into a billion tiny pieces like glass, you hit the floor too hard too fast and you explode, the world, millions of sparkling fragments come crashing down around you, slicing you to ribbons because thats what glass does, it cuts, and if you thought that just because you cared you were bullet proof you thought wrong, glass is never bullet proof, not even the kind that comes with a label and says it is, its a lie, its always a lie because when you care too much, try too hard, try so hard it hurts, you fall too hard, too fast, its too much and you shatter like previously bullet proof glass, you are out of the game and done playing the game because it doesn’t matter anymore, nothing matters anymore, its all one loop over and over and over, live die, repeat, live, die, repeat and oh if only you could reach the end, what satisfaction you would glean, what dreams might you escape, what people you might outrun, glass is exactly like humans, it reflects exactly who we are eventually no matter how much you warp it, no matter how much you bend its surface it reflects the true self back and then when you suddenly decide to show that side, boom, there I go, falling too fast too hard too much not slowing never slowing too much too fast too hard too caring too trying too much too fast too hard falling is like dying except slower, much much slower, and when I land, don’t worry you’ll be the first to know
Just now, a friend of mine, a best friend actually, well previous best friend of 12 and a half years just sent me an appalling, brutal, horrible message today basically saying i'm no good anymore, that we're done, that she doesn't even know why i tried to reach out to her when it's clear she wants nothing to do with me, **** it up she's moved on, she wants nothing more to do with me... that kind of gist. Best friend of 12 and a half years, hasn't spoken to me in months, I've no idea why, I've done nothing to provoke anything at all. So that was my inspiration, or more or less this is my mind right now. Left me out for the trash she did, just thought I'd let this be my first real note, i know its not typical and I'm sorry for that but there you lot go.