Knowing he will try
Is much better than a lie

listen to the sound of meaning and tell me if it means anything to you- the glass stains with colors of blue and grey dripping down and landing on your best intentions. don't leave me for the wolves- take me with you.

don't leave me for the wolves
or tell me to hold onto my horses
or test my patience
make me walk the tightrope-
insist that time flies-
as I'm pushed to the edge by her wind

if the only thing you care about is your **** size,
you've got BIGGER problems.

Lost in the sounds of tomorrow

Underneath my glittery lids and cheeks,

I am still glittering

hope runs its fingers through knotted hair
and exhumes hearts that were laid to rest

a gravely thought surfaced in the head of
the ones who once did pirouettes
with their words, risked reality for the sake of dreaming,
everything's normal you just can't get hurt

hope runs its fingers through our lucky days
and assures us in time another will come
out of the bushes straight our way

it's the caboose, the last fall, the remainder of it all
it nests in hiding, look up
higher than you think possible
its dust has marked park benches
you wont see it until you put on glasses
you wont see it until you move one step forward

some days it doesn't come out to play
but it isn't a game, it's the key to
a door that has been locked for ages

look, I have closets full of combinations
that were destroyed under the flames of
pure misfortune,

I really do believe that through this quest, we will find that individual key

Once we do,
we come to life

you're always welcomed

you stole a moment from me. Do you take good care of it? The seconds you wanted to be with me, what do you do with those memories?

It will take time for my mind and heart to heal~ in a month I've fallen off the pedestal. I miss you. I miss us.

You said you love me
what does loving me mean?
walking away
not staying
turning your back
fraying

writing  and   it    feels     like      we're       spacing        apart

when is it my moment
I won't be warned
I won't be dressed in my best
and that's what he'll like

A whisper
An echoe
A hummingbirds hymn
All sound the same
When you're waiting for the answer

I've met people I didn't think were human
and I've broken the human in me trying to figure them out

You feel uninteresting
Unappealing
Want to get unstuck
You strive to be part of a larger entity
But you sit and watch

It's unclear where writing poems will get me,

But they have gotten me out of my mind, hardships, suffocating fears

And that's ok if that's all I get

when you realize fully that what you can't control is no fault or imperfection you hold,
the most bountiful sense of relief you behold

the gloomy days aren't personal- but
the sunshine is

how far can u run until u r safe

But you never realize how much you want a minor inconvenience when your mind feels numb

how much you want to be embarrassed,
have sweat rolling down your chin
to get stung by a hornet and walk in the path of the storm

I want to be late for work,
stuck in traffic,
lost in space and time itself--
feel the heat and pressure of life digging it's expectations and riddles in your back

I want to lose my keys for the rest of eternity,
break down on the highway because maybe then my silently breaking heart won't feel so left out

This silence is dangerous

how much you want to feel both the intensity and dullness of emotion
-kaitlynmarieadiary

today I strung along with my pink backpack and hat that didn't fit

I walked alone with the breeze and eyes that walked instead of feet

down to the place I always go, where I see people come in and out

of my view and nocturnal youth only knowing what they can see

I don't blame them for having more friends than me

for socializing and living

for that's who I am

and that's what I'm missing

but I stay tucked in my corner

in case the sky breaks

-

Why is it I’d sacrifice my life for you but the moment you’re gone and your lies have swallowed any love in your heart

I start writing again

I start loving myself again.

The most torture I would like for you to endure

is the memory of someone who adores you,
I hope i look beautiful in your visions,
and it hurts every inch of your heart
i hope it ties knots in your stomach
and you feel the burning singe of regret
and that it doesn't stop

my wish is for the night sky that one special night
colors your eyes
and the taste of my lips is what you crave

my wish is for you to love me
I wish it was the same

Across the table sits a leather black  chair with absolutely no meaning.

And me on the other side. Waiting for what’s gone to return, I have this problem where I never give up of hope

Right here in this moment. I’d like to be sealed. An envelope for a future generation, to exhibit how great life really feels

right here in this moment. I'd like to be forgotten. A ripped piece of paper, thrown away, left in the closet.

a part of me knows
another part pretends not to know

dancing around the tone of her voice
exhaling too loud to drown the echoes
of "I love that color" and the "aren't you the neighbor girl?"

when a 22 year old meets a 97 year old-
rest in peace, Ole

and my head surrenders

take my knife
that I so willingly abandon

take my armor
that I misuse;
never for protection

attempt layered on attempts
to steal my most prized possession..

but I may be standing in a battlefield
with my hands across my chest

It's not my life that is this see saw of emotional imbalance-
it's my day, maybe even tomorrow

but not forever

you've...

messed up.
yet again.

you cannot reverse time
so I hope you feel ashamed
the actions you've committed
the lies you've held to your grave

no sorry can solve
this heavenly burden

unless you fix
this problem
with your god given hands

be strong
be brave
you got yourself into this mess
find your way out

if you get lost
resort for some help

whoever said help was a sign of weakness
better get their ducks in a row
because I'll have you know
weakness is a sign of strength on your way
so never give up
never look back
never shed a tear
because there are people

**who got your back!

oh sorry
don't let the flames burn you
for all the ***** deeds you've done in your life
oops, not again
shouldn't of let the dragons out
they are hungry for flesh
come this way
here's where we'll lay you to rest
no food no air
nothing there
but the regrets you hold
the lies you've told
let me know if you need anything
and oh yeah
welcome to **Hell!

Venus fly trap of intrusive thoughts
a broken record of do or die
tangled up in fear and weighted down by the comfort of a blanket in the moment
if I leave my head even for a minute,
I risk delving into the deep end,
the drop off point

defeat the purpose
put it in a bottle and throw it in the sea,
and sometimes it's not a good idea to be too curious, after all,
you might find something out

when she learned how to sing
she forgot how to talk
and when she learned how to run
she forgot how to walk
so when she learned how to love
she had no foundation
so the walls kept caving

Where's my wiggle room?
the space in between my heart and yours

no place to escape
the tea kettle hisses and finds an exit path

the dominoes find their way with a little push of a hand ..

And with both hands clasped,
I can cut the ties too

A girl once pretended to be nice
she wrote it down to describe herself
yet the only people she talked to
were her friends

*A boy once pretended to like her
he told all his friends'
yet the only people he told
were his friends

have you ever welcomed danger and hurt and it infested inside of your open sores and migrated every month with a new crew of thoughts who didn't love you. allowed with open arms worries, you raised them with hope and aspiration that their future would be engaging and beautiful and as wonderful as every last wish of a newly wed's mother.

No, I haven't either.

I'm young
not younger than the sun
but young enough to know you don't have to grow old