if the only thing you care about is your **** size,
you've got BIGGER problems.

I’m a tree in a forest,
Pretty strawberry blonde hair,
Hiding in the middle of the open,
Words to say but no one to express
Passing faces but nobody wants to stay
Been not showing up to work like I can live off of guilt

Can still be strong enough to march on when I’m holding onto a line of emotion that I have caused

Lost in the sounds of tomorrow

A whisper
An echoe
A hummingbirds hymn
All sound the same
When you're waiting for the answer

you stole a moment from me. Do you take good care of it? The seconds you wanted to be with me, what do you do with those memories?

It will take time for my mind and heart to heal~ in a month I've fallen off the pedestal. I miss you. I miss us.

You said you love me
what does loving me mean?
walking away
not staying
turning your back
fraying

today I strung along with my pink backpack and hat that didn't fit

I walked alone with the breeze and eyes that walked instead of feet

down to the place I always go, where I see people come in and out

of my view and nocturnal youth only knowing what they can see

I don't blame them for having more friends than me

for socializing and living

for that's who I am

and that's what I'm missing

but I stay tucked in my corner

in case the sky breaks

-

I like your eyes right after you cry

crystal and repaired

I’m sorry I have run out of excuses
Nothing left to wave yet another red flag,

I didn’t because I didn’t and I’m sorry. I sleep in my moms bedroom until my dad goes to bed because I still feel safe, I still feel full of something

And I’m nothing without her.

The most torture I would like for you to endure

is the memory of someone who adores you,
I hope i look beautiful in your visions,
and it hurts every inch of your heart
i hope it ties knots in your stomach
and you feel the burning singe of regret
and that it doesn't stop

my wish is for the night sky that one special night
colors your eyes
and the taste of my lips is what you crave

my wish is for you to love me
I wish it was the same

I used to believe my poems needed an ending
But in life, things rarely end like a storybook

In Mid conversation or
They leave early
Another breath
And another laugh
The normal things

writing  and   it    feels     like      we're       spacing        apart

you can make a knife out of anything
a heart

you can intoxicate yourself
you know too much
your own intentions,
worries,
mirror from within

what to expect
you walk in the same and I think it'll be different
my heart knows
it always knows
-

Sometimes losing control is the most beautiful thing

And when the lights lose their shine and the moon doesn't act like itself

We are inclined to believe
That a whirlpool of emotion
Is just steam
Just bubbles rising and popping

But you never realize how much you want a minor inconvenience when your mind feels numb

how much you want to be embarrassed,
have sweat rolling down your chin
to get stung by a hornet and walk in the path of the storm

I want to be late for work,
stuck in traffic,
lost in space and time itself--
feel the heat and pressure of life digging it's expectations and riddles in your back

I want to lose my keys for the rest of eternity,
break down on the highway because maybe then my silently breaking heart won't feel so left out

This silence is dangerous

how much you want to feel both the intensity and dullness of emotion
-kaitlynmarieadiary

Some things are too good to be true
And others are just that good

hope runs its fingers through knotted hair
and exhumes hearts that were laid to rest

a gravely thought surfaced in the head of
the ones who once did pirouettes
with their words, risked reality for the sake of dreaming,
everything's normal you just can't get hurt

hope runs its fingers through our lucky days
and assures us in time another will come
out of the bushes straight our way

it's the caboose, the last fall, the remainder of it all
it nests in hiding, look up
higher than you think possible
its dust has marked park benches
you wont see it until you put on glasses
you wont see it until you move one step forward

some days it doesn't come out to play
but it isn't a game, it's the key to
a door that has been locked for ages

look, I have closets full of combinations
that were destroyed under the flames of
pure misfortune,

I really do believe that through this quest, we will find that individual key

Once we do,
we come to life

you're always welcomed

...But you can never be certain

This world is so hard for certain people. Like a sewer inching your way, the same sewer you pretended to push me in, the same sewer I imagined one day falling while riding my bike, and eventually I did. I fell but I had a gut feeling I would. My brain didn't strap down and there I lay on the ground. sprawled like a kid. Because I was. And if the only way to being happy is to be a kid, then I'd definitely hitch a ride on the Lala train. Be more protected. I'd be more protected and care about. What do we care about? I strongly dislike having wider eyes than this universe. It hurts every time I blink

and my head surrenders

take my knife
that I so willingly abandon

take my armor
that I misuse;
never for protection

attempt layered on attempts
to steal my most prized possession..

but I may be standing in a battlefield
with my hands across my chest

It's not my life that is this see saw of emotional imbalance-
it's my day, maybe even tomorrow

but not forever

you've...

messed up.
yet again.

you cannot reverse time
so I hope you feel ashamed
the actions you've committed
the lies you've held to your grave

no sorry can solve
this heavenly burden

unless you fix
this problem
with your god given hands

be strong
be brave
you got yourself into this mess
find your way out

if you get lost
resort for some help

whoever said help was a sign of weakness
better get their ducks in a row
because I'll have you know
weakness is a sign of strength on your way
so never give up
never look back
never shed a tear
because there are people

**who got your back!

oh sorry
don't let the flames burn you
for all the ***** deeds you've done in your life
oops, not again
shouldn't of let the dragons out
they are hungry for flesh
come this way
here's where we'll lay you to rest
no food no air
nothing there
but the regrets you hold
the lies you've told
let me know if you need anything
and oh yeah
welcome to **Hell!

Venus fly trap of intrusive thoughts
a broken record of do or die
tangled up in fear and weighted down by the comfort of a blanket in the moment
if I leave my head even for a minute,
I risk delving into the deep end,
the drop off point

defeat the purpose
put it in a bottle and throw it in the sea,
and sometimes it's not a good idea to be too curious, after all,
you might find something out

when she learned how to sing
she forgot how to talk
and when she learned how to run
she forgot how to walk
so when she learned how to love
she had no foundation
so the walls kept caving

Where's my wiggle room?
the space in between my heart and yours

no place to escape
the tea kettle hisses and finds an exit path

the dominoes find their way with a little push of a hand ..

And with both hands clasped,
I can cut the ties too

A girl once pretended to be nice
she wrote it down to describe herself
yet the only people she talked to
were her friends

*A boy once pretended to like her
he told all his friends'
yet the only people he told
were his friends

have you ever welcomed danger and hurt and it infested inside of your open sores and migrated every month with a new crew of thoughts who didn't love you. allowed with open arms worries, you raised them with hope and aspiration that their future would be engaging and beautiful and as wonderful as every last wish of a newly wed's mother.

No, I haven't either.

I'm young
not younger than the sun
but young enough to know you don't have to grow old