too young to understand the words I said
I gave it all to the girl who held my hand
before anyone else would
she kissed me softly
and that
I thought
kept the world together
until I made her's fall apart

having tried to fall too many times
I remain dull and unmoving
yearning for the way it felt
when she commented on my crooked smile
and explained what made me beautiful

we would move mountains so that
our journeys could wander together
if we held close
but in letting go
I have found I love too much, give too much
lie too much and
break too many people

you see
I am the worst person I know
because I see shadows while they see light
or at least they hope to

I  want to love viciously
to ache for us to be selfish in our satisfaction
you to love the laugh I can put on your face
touching fingertips as we lay on the grass
I want to learn of your own destruction
and see that I am just a confused boy

you see i've learned
all the worst things about infatuation
the way her favorite color became mine
and how I remember
that
you are the craziest part of me

can we find ourselves resolute
in our own terrible ways
will you touch my hair and kiss me for being here
and will you sit next to me for every sunrise
we care to wake up for

I hold myself together for you
I wait so that you may find me
we can touch our hands just to make sure
that we are safe for each other

"I am not ok", she said,
"Two letters cannot possibly explain
The pain that resides in my heart.
There is not enough ink to begin
Describing what is within.
Find me a word that is real".

you

tried on my suit that night to
“see

how much space you took up” in it
your yellow dress looked like a hazard in the

moonlight.
turn head once, twice
your slight hands, like china,
foreign now.
In January, you tasted like cinnamon.
Now, in

August you taste like wheat.

You fold my sweaters like packages
and always offer to peel my oranges.

To you, attacks and bombs have rendered me incapable.

My mind is your Brillo pad,
and like my suit -
overwhelmed and ill-fitting -
I don’t see you in it.

you don't tempt me
you entrance me
and I give in

the way you kiss
repells my tensions
it's the perfect combination
soft, wet, vicious, caring
i crave you more and more

the way your skin grazes me
igniting every nerve ending of mine
sends me to somewhere like heaven
where you are my celestial wonderland

the way your eyes lock with mine
gentle, unguarded gazes
veiled with stories of mysteries and untold futures
i will read them with you someday

the way i feel with you
wanted, desired, loved
helpless, foolish, lost
but always at peace

i want to be near you
even if I'm not beside you
i don't want to forget a thing about you