you are beautiful to me
a soul crafted
made of symphonies

although you hurt me
i am lucky to have met you
it was meant to be

I'm afraid to talk
And to open up to you
Because people have always used me
like a cigarette,
throwing me away once they're done
and lighting a new one.

she has spent eternities despising herself
searching in the mirror for the existence
of an ethereal reflection
staring back into her ocean eyes
whispering soft lullabies
an abundance of external lies
for it could never match
the true beauty and radiance
that resides inside


the most impeccable love story
is the one she holds with herself
for when she comes to realize
the resiliency of her bones
the captivation of her words
the radiance of her dance
and the effervescence of her energy
she drips in empowerment
like sweet honey
drips from the wildflower

Drowning in the memories of you and I,
Oh how I wish I would’ve seen this coming.
Our downfall was bound to happen; it was inevitable.
I should have known you would be the one to steal my heart away, smash it into pieces and leave me bleeding on the bathroom floor.
I etched your name into my skin and screamed into the night,
as the blood dripping from my wrist washed all the pain away.
I drowned myself in ***** just to forget your name,
but it wasn’t enough to cure my ever aching heart.

you think you understand me
because of the size of my home
that comes from my fathers money
you think i grew up privileged
harbouring a “normal” childhood
without any shortcomings.

what you don’t understand is the
abuse, emotional neglect and fear
experienced
at the hands of my angry father
that caused me to become this way.

you think i’m happy, normal even,
because i don’t talk about what goes on in my brain
the racing thoughts that consume me,
the trauma memory that replays in my head,
the suicidal thoughts, voices that repeat just do it over and over
and how i cry every time im alone in the bathroom.

i'm afraid to open up like i had in the past
because every single time ended in abandonment,
followed by slit wrists and regret.

but,
maybe one day i'll tell you all about it
and hope you stay.