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1.2k · Oct 2014
Am I being a fool?
Juliana Oct 2014
Its 2:15am and I can't sleep.
I've been thinking about nothing, I have nothing in my head.
But at the time I'm writing this I'm catching myself thinking about you.
Your thoughts at this time of the dark, the ones that keep you awake all night, are the ones that really matter?

Thinking about you is keeping me awake, do you really matter? Or I'm just being a fool?

I shot my eyes to sleep, and I'm dreaming of you, of us , something that doesn't really exist.

Am I being a fool?

I wake up and I'm thinking of you.
You are on my thoughts every **** second.
You are chaos to my heart.
I think I'm going insane.
Am I being a fool?
Am I??
-J
Can you be in love with someone you haven't meet yet?
Juliana Aug 2016
Hoy te extrañé intensamente de la nada y los pequeños recuerdos de nuestra historia cayeron una vez más.
Me puse a pensar que después de tantos años tu rostro todavía me trae felicidad cada que te encuentro sin querer en los lugares más random, y ya sabes, nada es casualidad, o al menos eso me gusta creer a mi, algo así como el destino.
Pienso en ti y en que tus noticias me duelen, y aún que no creo mucho en la Iglesia (algo que probablemente no sepas de mi), si creo en Dios y le pido que tu vida sea la más feliz.
Nuestros recuerdos me han perseguido de maneras que nunca imaginarás, los canto, los grito, los lloro, los escribo..aunque sería mejor enterrarlos en una caja por muchos años, pero falló en el intento cada día a las seis de la mañana, cuando me levanto y me acuerdo que hace algunos amaneceres a esa misma hora me dormía con el sonido de tu voz en el teléfono, pero esos recuerdos algunas veces me hacen sentir mejor, vivir mejor.
Pero en fin, cuando me pienses, recuérdame como se debe, con una sonrisa de esquina a esquina, porque así te recuerdo yo.
No me borres si no te da la gana, y si llegas a borrarme acuérdate de mi.
Que te borré tantas veces y hoy te escribí.

-J
744 · Oct 2014
Burning memories
Juliana Oct 2014
I found myself writing about you again.
3 months ago I was writing to you.
Having those deep conversations until noon.
Talking about everything and nothing.

I don't even know why am I writing this.
To be honest I don't even miss you, neither the feelings you used to give me.

I'm burning this poem attached to the photos and everything that reminds me of you, of us.
This is the last goodbye my dear.


-J
632 · Oct 2014
Nothing to you
Juliana Oct 2014
August- Tuesday 4
It's been 2 days since we last talked.
It's been 2 days since our last kiss.. oh I still remember it like it was seconds ago. I can still feel your lips glued to mine, our laugh making our teeth crash, I still have the taste of your lips on the back of my mind.

August -Thursday 6
The day you broke your promises and made me cry.
The day you threw the memories away.
The day I wanted to be able to hate you rather than miss you.
The day I realize I couldn't stop loving you.

October- Thursday 2
It's been two months since you sent me that goodbye letter, you were not man enough to tell me face to face what you had done.
You became into the person you said you would never be.
You said you wouldn't and you ******* did.
The day I realized that even hating you, I still miss you.

October- Saturday 18*
October 18th. The first day I saw your lips, your ******* lips on hers. The first **** day I saw you touching her. The first day I saw you laughing with her, like you never did with me. The first day I started questioning myself *who the hell was I to you?

You answered that question when you looked at me and your eyes didn't had that special something they had before, you didn't looked at me the way you used to, God it feels so long ago, they didn't had that passion they had before. They now look lost in pain and confusion.
That day I realized I needed to answer that question myself.
I was nothing to you.


-J
578 · Oct 2014
I want you
Juliana Oct 2014
I want your arms around me again.
I want to feel the adrenaline I felt that night when you kissed me for the first time in that old sofa.
I want to feel your body near mine we can hardly breath.
I want to feel the passion we both had at making each other laugh even when we were mad.
I want you to come home every sunday at 1am like you used to and talk until we fell asleep.
I want our conversations back.
I want your kisses back.
I want your hands back.
I want to make you feel loved again.
I want to feel loved by you again.
I want you to drive me insane like you used to.
I want your touch in my cold skin.
I want to share my favorite songs with you.
I want you.
I want us.

-J
Missing someone.
565 · Oct 2014
Remember to love
Juliana Oct 2014
Every night in my sleep I remember his last touch on my cold body. The words he told me when he was laying next to me, hearing his breathing closer and closer like if we were the only human beings in this messed up world, and the only background music was his heart beating faster and faster.

Every night in my sleep I remember our last kiss, the last conversation, even the last song we heard.

Evey night in my sleep when the memories come,  I don't feel like wanting to go back, the only thing I don't remember is me loving him the way he loved me.

When I woke up I didn't missed him.
Then I realized I was in love with the idea of someone being that close to me, to the idea of someone making me feel something again.

I guess the only thing I remembered was that I forgot to love.


-J
Flashbacks of the love I used to feel.
438 · May 2016
life
Juliana May 2016
I crave with all my heart to leave this place I call home, leave everything and everyone behind, I want to experience, live, learn , the new, the better.

I want to leave the ordinary, where everyone is the same, where I don't fit in, where I don't think like the rest.

I want self-growth, I want this for myself, to find myself.

How am I supposed to know what I want in life, what I like, if I'm stuck in this place, I  need to feed myself with culture.

I desire to go far away, far where I don't know anyone, far to the point I get scared as hell, and in that moment I'm going to know what life is really about.
-J
422 · May 2016
You did
Juliana May 2016
You came into my life and messed it all up.
In every sense of the word.
You ****** me up, you took my heart away with you the day you left, the day you left with no intention of coming back, the day you left me alone crying my eyes out, you left me with all this mess, you left me with this catastrophe of person that I am, and since that day, after everything, you still have my heart, you still own my heart.

You came into my life and messed it all up.
I feel physically hurt to the point I hear your name and all the 206 bones of my body break into hundreds of pieces, and Im not strong enough to bring them back together again.

You came into my life and messed it all up.
It hurts, it ******* does, every **** second of the day, and it sure hurts as hell hearing that out loud.
It hurts that I can't sleep without you next to me.
It hurts that I forgot how to breath when you are not near me.
It hurts, it ******* does.
You messed me all up
You did

-J
You broke me.

— The End —