Tears and tired eyes now became her gaze....
Clouds of vapor and cheap cigarettes are her constant haze...
The anger behind her madness begins to blaze....
And opening her mind reveals her pain soaked maze...
She acts like signs of childhood evaded her grip...
And all the ones she trusted did more than just jump ship ....
So she finds a shield and takes her pill to focus her trip...
And into her oblivion and forget it all I watch her slip...
She sees me as she quits her fight...
And it's me and her against another night...

I remember the mornings,
Where I'd wake early.

I remember the days,
Hot with the sun's rays.

I remember the evenings,
Catching fireflies in mason jars.

I remember the nights,
Crisp and clear. Stars shining beautifully.

Oh how I wish I can remember when I was happy.
When will I be able to go back to the simpler days?

I (used to think I) love(d) someone.

Daaaaamn, check her out!
Yo, that ***** is VERY PRETTY!

I (know better than to) believe that nothing is impossible.

Maaaan, I would  HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR  that chick all night long, if y'know what I mean.

I (pretend to) listen to what other people have to say.

I hear ya, but me personly, what I'd like to do is  MEET HER PARENTS  while wearin' A NICE SUIT  and have a  PLEASANT EVENING WITH STIMULATING CONVERSATION.

I've (given up on all my) dreams and ambitions.

Maybe even bring  A BOTTLE OF VINTAGE WINE  so that I could really  MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION, if you know what I'm sayin'.

I want to (believe there's no point in trying to) make the world a better place.

**** bro, you are one  RESPECTABLE AND STAND-UP  ********, you know that?

Through fog and sullen thoughts
I move on I don't stop
Through limitations
I break free I leap off a cliff
I fall backwards to see the sky not the fear
Crashing or flying is not up to me
I am moved and I follow
Crazy and enlightened are two words
To describe refusal to follow
I sense and I comprehend
Not your words,
I can touch your intentions
The tender fragility behind the
Shell of impervious
Behind bravado of the narcissus
So small and shallow so afraid
Of seeing empty staring back from
The mirror reflection
No, I'm no better
I fear the void I fill it
To the brink like a pointless hobby
Feeling the ultimate
Does not help to shake off my humanity
Limitations everywhere reflect
The fear I carry like a favorite keepsake
Too human to let go

fetid life
like old wine settled
in a knock-off crystal glass
oily tops and clotting bottoms
what day is it
what time is it
what realm is it
where am i sinking to
is there treasure
in a chest
gold and gems
in my chest
where a heart pumps bad auras
from gut to head to feet to lips
where gut twists and up comes shame
where legs twist and up come sheets
where long nights
awake and burning
end in morning light
birds chirping
is there treasure where i’m going
lungs full of dark water
storms striking
lurid waves
deep down in my dark i am safe
it is cold, i can sleep
on smooth pearls and wet sand
with ten thousand leagues of pressure
protecting
and if i am so unfortunate that i may surface
ten thousand leagues of pressure
will push me back down again
in a wine-dark sea
they don’t know blue like i know blue.

i cannot be your anti depressant.
i cannot transform into a warm blanket
every time you feel the cold.
i cannot seep into your veins and rest
underneath your scarred skin.
not all promises can be kept and
i am only trying to speak the truth.
try to understand i have my own demons to tame.

don't make your happiness so dependent
on my rise out of bed in the morning.
don't rely so much on this frail veiled soul
to mend each broken piece of yours
while i'm still only trying to kick myself out
of my own shark infested seas.
the speaking of pure fantasy only assures me,
i will soon be suffocated by your adding of more water.

you cannot intend on making me your hero.
you cannot be fixed by these clumsy hands that
can't always be there in time to hold yours.
so please. i am only human.
you have to save yourself.
because i can never be your anti depressant.

Daydream delusion
Limousine eyelash
Oh baby with your pretty face
Drop a tear in wine glass
Look at those big eyes
See what it means to me
Sweetcakes and milkshakes

I'm delusion angel
I'm fantasy parade

I want you to know what I think
Don't want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where i came from
You have no idea where we're going

Lodged in life, like branches in the river
Flowing downstream caught in the current

I carry you, you carry me
That's how it could be

Don't you know me
Don't you know me by now