I think the writing on the wall explains it well;
The story of my life.
Words of laughter, learning and development.
But nothing of the strife.
Some things are not worth dwelling upon,
It's better we just forget.
This story is worth remembering though,
So I want you to know how it was set.

There are four others, besides myself,
In our little childhood crowd.
Even though one left early,
To rest upon a cloud.
We grew up as others did,
Making mud-pies in the yard.
And if any of us felt any way unsafe,
We were each other's guard.

We all have our different versions of things,
Our perspectives from our own side.
And when it all fades away,
We must take it in our stride.
Our days are moving forward,
Our childhoods are slipping away.
But in case we begin to lose them forever,
I want to collect them all today.

I couldn't imagine forgetting the mud-pies,
Or seeing Prince somersault in the wind.
Or the way ye all looked,
As ye happily, posed and grinned.
On rare occasions I remember details,
That meant little to us then.
Like our bad taste of fashion,
And the ways we used to hold a pen.

Oh and we can't forget the nicknames,
That reflected who we are.
Or the times we all spent in the garden:
The setting for Our Star.
We can't forget our old bedroom,
The place we learned to share.
Nor can we ever forget the feeling,
Of having each other there.

What prompted this, is a single photograph,
I found inside a book.
Astounded I was to find it there,
And see how young we looked.
All four of us are gathered in a group,
Posing for the camera shot.
We look the picture of perfection,
Even Prince got caught.

The weather was still and warm,
We sat lovingly, dressed in our casual wear.
Little did I know it at the time,
But my utopia in life, is there.

You were angry when you turned on your heel.
The fight was over and you were walking away.
It was just then she called out for you to "wait!",
One single thing you never expected she'd say.
You dare not face her,
Just in case she sees,
The tears that are swelling in your eyes,
And the shake that possesses your knees.
She opens up and she admits
How your last words cut her deep.
She thinks of how you want no more than friendship,
Each night while she cannot sleep.
She apologises repeatedly,
The words pour straight out from her heart.
She regrets the way that she left you,
And wishes ye had not grown apart.
Anger fills up fast inside you,
And makes it's way right to your mouth.
You ask her why she won't just let go.
She's taken aback by your shout.
Then, just as a child would,
She mumbles when she says:
It was fear that made her leave you,
And she'll regret it for the rest of her days.
You find this preposterous!
Why on Earth would she be scared?
"When" and "why" you then ask her,
And that's when she confesses she cared.
She wanted more than what you were to her.
She was searching for a soul mate,
Who would stand by her forever,
And face with her, her fate.
Your face changes when she says how
It was not a mutual thought.
You wanted nothing that she did,
And this hurt a lot.
So she explains how she left you,
Just before it was too late,
And adds that she is sorry
She has made such a state.
You are reluctant to believe her;
For how could her words be true?
She fell right into another's arms,
The second she left you!
And you speak of this disbelief,
You display all the anger you feel.
You empty your heart of it's agony,
As it's a wound you can no longer seal.
It's then she tells you she was foolish,
She believed these were feelings she could grow.
But this was a void that could not be filled by just anyone,
And there's something you must know.
As ye lock eyes for a single moment,
You cannot believe the words she has just said.
"I was wrong" she admits into the silence..
Or was that all just in your head?

What must it feel like to fall out of love?
To wake up one morning and no longer feel?
I imagine it feels empty, to be right back at the start.
To drop out of dreamland and come back to what's real.

But then I think it would be a relief,
To just have your own to protect.
So when you're concentrating on yourself,
There's no one left to neglect.

But then what about the reminders,
Of the times ye had spent?
Are you left unaffected?
Or do you begin to resent?

Do you feel absence in your heart?
Or do you just leave it all in the past?
Are you glad that it's over?
Or did you wish it would last?

Can you look into your lover's eyes,
And tell them the truth:
That you lied when you told them;
"It's about me, not you."

What must it feel to be callous,
Walking away so easily from love,
Taking off as quick as the wind does ,
As soon as push came to shove?

What must it feel to have fallen,
Out of a love that was so true?
Not even in my strongest moment could I do it..
So what must it feel like to be you?

Down came the first drops of rain, before the storm.
And just like that, in two words, came the end.
The end to a work-in-progress; to a commitment;
To a lover; to a most treasured friend.

Down came the tower I built up to keep me safe.
Closed became the arms that kept me warm.
Cold came the air that froze my soul.
Gone, was my home.

Out stood the ocean's beauty.
And clear became the skies.
Drowned behind the tears,
Disappeared; your eyes.

My legs took off running,
Tripping with the fear.
You awaited a response from my lips,
But my words just weren't there.

For a moment, I was absent.
Smiling, within a dream.
We were holding hands in the sunshine,
And we were on the same team.

But then the storm poured down upon us,
And I turned to see your face.
I know what those words did to you,
I can almost feel your heart race.

I know I'm supposed to feel pain.
I'm supposed to feel sorrow.
But instead, I just feel numb.
Thinking only about tomorrow.

What am I going to do on my own?
And who will I tell my stories to?
Will I be okay out there by myself?
..And then I think of you.

Will you remember me, the way you last described,
With a deep unwelcoming hatred for you?
The person who ****** the joy out of life,
Who no longer laughed, who was always blue?

Will you wake up one morning,
And regret everyday of our one year?
Or will you just move on without me,
And pretend I was never there?

I run, and I run, as fast as my legs can move,
Chasing a single moment, circling the same mile.
And just as I see you in the distance,
You vanish with your smile.

I know how hard those words were for you.
And I know they broke your heart.
There was a lot I did want to say,
But inside, I just fell apart.

We are not made of glass,
So we simple cannot be broken.
At least, that's what I was once told.
I now question is he understood the words he had spoken.

Because the rock that is my heart,
Shattered as if it were,
To the thought of being that monster you described.
I never wanted to be her.

So I say goodbye to my most treasured person,
And hello to the loneliness and pain,
That I'm surrounded by in the darkness,
As I sit alone in the rain.

Lonely
In the corner
Staring into an abyss
       of pointless options
And all the edges
       in the world
Aren't sharp enough
       to cut through
The concrete wall
       surrounding her heart

Cold**
In a crowded room
Searching for an empathetic face
She sees the smiles
        filling the empty space
And it seems
        that no amount of joy
Is real enough
        to take the fears place

Dear Future Me,
Please don’t forget to love.
It is by loving that we truly live.
Please don’t forget not to keep your heart locked up.
It is feeling everything that makes us human.
Please don't forget to dance.
It is the movement of freedom.
And lastly, please don't forget to smile.
For when you do, the world will smile with you.
Love, Current Me

If I was a mountain

That soared towards the sky,

With craggy snow caps

And stormy grey eyes-



Then you'd be the clouds

That swaddled my peak,

That silenced my thunder

When I tried to speak.



If I was the earth

The desert, in fact:

With arid dry soil

And mud, baked and cracked-



You'd be the rain

The downpour that soothed;

The balm to my bruises,

Relief to my wounds.



If I was the Moon

In the indigo night,

With stars as my blanket

And silver; my light-



Well you'd be the Sun

Just always behind

That lent me your glow

And caused me to shine.