boys are not to be mistaken for bandages

as vibrant flowers press
their beginnings
up
from the frozen ground
below
i untangle
my body
from
your body
i am the primavera diosa
bringer of new life
destroyer
of what existed
between us
expert
at new beginnings

as ice melts
from the blazing sun
above
i let out a sigh
releasing my feelings
for you
and thawing
the earth
around me
i am the warmest
the softest
thing you will ever
get your hands on

finally deciding
to deal with the
aftermath
of what you
left behind
has been the
single most
difficult
and
rewarding
thing i've done

i've had a high pain tolerance ever since i was a little girl
my mom likes to tell this story:
i was about 3 years old
sitting in my carseat
sticking my fingers out the window
to feel the fresh air
my dad
oblivious as ever
closes the rear window on my tiny baby fingers
i didn't cry a single tear
not when it happened
not when i was raced to the emergency room
not when the doctor removed my fingernail

i've had a high pain tolerance ever since i was a little girl
correction
i've had a high
physical
pain tolerance ever since i was a little girl

emotionally?

i can drizzle
i can pour
i can calm
i can storm
i can rattle
i can shatter
i can tie
i can split
i can echo
i can scream
i can claim
i can plea
i can want
i can need

i can't explain

a bumble bee
does not deny
taking great care of
the flowers
that provide her with
sweet,
sweet nectar

flowers
do not hide their
beautiful faces
from the
curious sun

a stream
will always run
swiftly away
from a mountain and
down
into the loving arms
of a valley

the tide
works tirelessly
to touch
mother moon

stars
throw themselves
to the ground
just to be close to
earth

i sacrifice
myself
to keep
missing you.

i howled at the moon
a
million
times
before i let you touch me

i groveled before myself
bent
over
backwards
in agony
before you even looked in my
pale blue eyes

i learnt that the most powerful thing a woman can be is
herself
that the most powerful thing she can do is
love herself

i became the most powerful woman
doing the most powerful things
before i allowed you to
call me yours

the sky sobbed
for us
my love
to cleanse the earth below

flowers bloomed
where weeds once stood
and the
moon
lay with the
sun

stars plummeted to earth
for us
my love
they granted wishes below

your voice
replaced the sounds of my
broken heart
and the earth stood still

i know you felt it too.

fool me once
shame on you

fool me twice
shame on you

tell me, love
does the world end for you
as it does for me
over
and
over
and
over
again

does it's genesis
startle you awake
the next morning
as you feel for the empty space next to you
things were too good to be true

but nothing surprises me much anymore
and the cups of meloncholy lovers have
overflowed before
into puddles of what shouldn't be

don't make it hurt
my love
please
be gentle with me
my shield is not yet fully formed
you see