I fell into temptation. Kissing her was toxic to our love. I didn't realize that when I was biting on her lip. I didn't realize how much you would hate me for kissing her neck in the same spot you love. I didn't realize that her moaning my name would sound so similar to you saying, "I love you". I didn't realize I would feel so guilty for a temptation I don't regret... What I did realize is I only regret hurting you.

I don't like the things I do out of spite. I don't like how I'm always replaced. I don't like how I've been lost in depression for so long that this is all I know. I don't like the fact the one time I fall-I fall for you. Someone who was a one night stand. Someone who shouldn't matter. I don't like how you have control over me. I don't like how I would do anything to have your attention. I don't like how I'm literally so lost, I think you're the most perfect thing. Not perfect as in flawless but as in you're right for me. You've done so many ****** up things to people and so have I. That's why I want you. I want you to **** me up. I want you to hurt me. I just don't like how I'm not the one you want.

The storm outside isn't s ******* metaphor,
it isn't a **** comparison.
The disater going on out there is exactly,
what has been going on inside my head,
ever since you left.

I drank that bottle of ***** faster than I did falling in love with you.
It's the morning after,
and sadly,
I only have a hangover,
and I'm more infatuated with you than ever.
Sadly,
that bottle showed me more love in one night,
Than you did in the months we were together.

I'm stuck in my head.
Every which way,
thoughts fly in and out.
Thoughts of you.

I can't take it.
so, I'll take my life.
That's the point right?
When life gets tough,
you give up.

Get out of my ******* head already.
The constant voices.
The constant images of you
I'll do it I swear.

I'll ******* do it.
Just stop the voices.
Just stop the thoughts of you.

******* ****.
**** this.
I give up.

Better call 911

I find myself lost in the sad songs that speak about you and me. Sorry I didn't mean it like that. You made it clear that there is no you and me. No you and me means, you don't love me like I love you. God I ******* love you. I tell you that everyday. I could have you if I wanted, but you don't want me to try so I'm just here waiting. I'm here waiting to touch your lips again. I'm here waiting to call you mine for the first time. So I'll keep waiting, because you're worth it. Until then, you're hers not mine. She will never understand you like I will. Here I am listening the sad songs that speak of a you an me that is non-existent. The sad songs that speak of you and her that I wish were of you and me.

You ignited a most magnificent flame inside of me, one that was slightly bigger than a birthday candle. You helped me find the significance of who I am, but all that changed when I ****** up. God, I ****** up. I begged and begged and you said no, and that you were done with me. Hearing you say that froze my entire body in half a second. My heart was in shambles. The fire had been blown out. The colors in my eyes went straight grey. It has been three years since then. I haven't been the same. You would hate who I am now, you would even be embarrassed to say you knew me. You would not approve of the things I've done in spite of you... I texted you last year on Feb 28.. You never texted back. That no reply back didn't even hurt me. It only started another fire inside me. Except this time it instantly became a ******* wildfire, because of the hatred passion I now have for you. Not because you never texted me back, but because you act as if I meant nothing to you. So *******. *******, for having an affect on me. *******, for the **** wildfire I can no longer control. *******, for the **** you've put me through. *******.. ******* for still being on my mind after three years.. ******* for being the first person to break my ******* heart.