Jasmine Reid: Favorites

Oct 2018 Jasmine Reid

I Couldn't Fall Asleep Until I Wrote This

Oct 2018 Jasmine Reid

Hannia Santisteban

I Couldn't Fall Asleep Until I Wrote This

Sometimes, I wish I hadn’t just been the backseat of your car,
Intoxicated. My first drunk hook up. My first. Period.
I picture myself being champagne on Valentine’s Day.
I picture myself being you, nervous in the car, holding Starbucks
because you know I love coffee. Sometimes, I picture myself as her,
calling you a stalker and ignoring your calls,
but then I see myself. I call you beautiful,
turn you into poetry, laugh at your bad jokes,
I see myself as I become your drunk Wednesday night
when you’re sad. I see myself as I say no,
I become a “this is not a good idea”
and you a “we’ll deal with the consequences in the morning.”
We laugh because this hurts too much.
You take her out for dinner and I burrow money
for Plan B because you forgot you don’t like condoms
and clearly have no idea how children are made.
I have already named him. He has your curls and
my anxiety. He is smart. Except, I never wanted kids and
you would be a great father. Instead, you tell her
the beach reminds you of her and I cry in a McDonald’s
bathroom with my friend as relief floods through me that
the test comes negative. I stop talking to you,
move forward, meet someone new and before long
see myself becoming you. Because isn’t that the cycle?
Bad men turn good women into bad women who turn
good men into bad men. I’ll set him free so he can hurt
someone like me, and I drink red wine as I read her
poems about him and me.

#heartbroken #angry #unrequited #love

Oct 2018 Jasmine Reid

Just Friends

Oct 2018 Jasmine Reid

Mr Uncanny

Just Friends

I look at you and become selfish and upset
You probably look at me and wonder why?
If you only knew what was deep inside
Then there will be no reason for wondering

I have a soft exterior with a rock solid interior
Though the interior is solid it gets a bit soft
I have feelings and emotions that I want to share with you
But I feel that there is no need

I read those words of wisdom
That say don't miss the chance to say what you feel
In some cases, some feelings are better left unsaid

I'm writing this not to tell you how I feel
I'm writing this to ease my heart
To ease the pain and suffering
That I dealt with for some time

Like I said I look at you
I feel selfish and upset
This time I will tell you

When I'm with you I feel whole inside
I have no worries or fears
All my sadness is gone and all I feel is happiness

I find enjoyment in all the time I spend with you
From the funny jokes to the sad talks
Every moment with you is worth it

You probably wonder then why are you upset
Well this is why
Were just friends

Friendship is important to all of us
But when it comes to you I wish it was more than that
I wanted to be with you

I don't ever want to not have you by my side
I want to take you everywhere with me
To wake up to you
I always wonder what is it like to kiss your lips
To feel your soft body on mines, not sexually but romantically
What is it like to hold your hand to hug you close
To protect you

People see us and say we look great together
I look at us and I know we are great together

When people ask where I am
Nine times out of ten I'm with you

Its funny how we do similar thing couples do
But were not even near being a couple
Its true

Yes, you are my friend
And some relationships can stem from that
Yes, you are my friend
And I rather have you some way then no way
But in my mind you are more than that

You are my center, my balance
You are the ying to my yang
The peanut to my jelly
All those clique things they say when people complete each other

I guess what I really want to say to you
Is that I love you and wish to be with you
But I'm one of the fortunate, unfortunates
I have a best friend, who is you
But that's all well be
Just friends.

I'm not really upset as I write this
I'm not even bitter
I guess I don't want things to change between us
But I know it will

I get upset for the fact that you're not appreciated
That guys hurt you and not know your worth

I remember when you fear being alone
That you are part of the curse
As I told you before
I won't let it happen

If you were to ever read this don't look at me different
Try not to act differently
Just know that you have a friend that deeply cares about you
And that friend will be there forever
To make sure you're always okay

#friends #love #emotions #rejection #friendship

Oct 2018 Jasmine Reid

While listening to this song I remember...

Oct 2018 Jasmine Reid

Blade Maiden

While listening to this song I remember...

I don't think I know
where to begin or
where to go
How to leave chance behind
how to change perceptions
how to treat my own mind

I don't know
why I have this need
to share and to show
Exactly where I stand
ever spilling heart in hand

I don't know why
I keep asking for truth
from strangers only passing by
Same old retreat
numbing sadness on repeat

I have no idea
what to tell you now
how to make myself more clear
How to leave and how to save
how to make my feet behave

I'm a glass full of shards
a peculiar collection
lots of shiny unknown parts
I don't know who I am anymore
I don't think I knew before

#knowing #unsure #confusion #self #mind #need #repeat #sadness #unknown #peculiar

Oct 2018 Jasmine Reid

letters for you

Oct 2018 Jasmine Reid

celesti

letters for you

i wrote you
a letter every day
letters to tell you
just how i feel

written in neat, curved
writing i told you
just how sweet
i thought you were
how you made my heart
glow

letters in which i wrote
with various colors of ink
pouring out my whole being
to you

i wrote you
a letter every day.

i wrote you letters in which
i told you how you made me
bloom.

eventually
i found myself
pressing harder on
the paper
than i had before.

creating tears in them
similar in shape
and size
as the ones
inside of me.

i began to send
letters
with creases
and bumps
and stains
splattered with tears

pouring
from my eyes

as i wrote
the anger
bubbling within me.

my last letter
addressed to you
contained
no words

but was blank.
because
i had none that

could reach
as far

and deep

into the cracks
of my
heart

to describe
just
what you

had left
of me.

a draft i decided to finish because it took a totally different turn than originally intended.

#love #sad #depression

Oct 2018 Jasmine Reid

To Be Seen

Oct 2018 Jasmine Reid

imperfectstranger

To Be Seen

If only they could see
The war inside me

Maybe they’d leave me alone
Or maybe I’d be at home

Not alone but lonely
Because they don’t understand how desperately

I need closure
Or I'll never know for sure...

#depression #alone #lonely #understand #desperate

Oct 2018 Jasmine Reid

Mr. Smith

Oct 2018 Jasmine Reid

Dream Fisher

Mr. Smith

You can say I'm nobody,
But I am something, I'm not a body,
I bring in a force, not of reckoning,
I don't have the devil by the horns
I'd rather scorn those who sit so serious.
We can burn down this city,
Torch the town to ash with me
But only to laugh that it really hit the ground
Don't worry, we are all survivors, all around.
I don't need your money, don't insult my mind.
I'm a soldier of a different kind.

You can say I'm nobody,
In a sea of passing people populating a plot
Because the train for me just doesn't stop,
Time doesn't move for me and it doesn't not
I'm here like you with a name attached
But from me to you, I'm just a faceless man
I'm not special, I didn't participate,
I didn't do good or great and most of your demons,
I am nobody, so how could I relate?

I could say you are nobody,
Or we can shake hands and be now known.
We can discuss our interests, the lives we've grown.
We can be special in a sense that I made you so,
We can have heated discussions making time slow
Or laugh until the sun dawns then sets.
But truly i must admit, I'm in a hurry and must be going.
Sincerely,
a nobody someone almost met.

#dreamfisher #nobody #smith

Oct 2018 Jasmine Reid

muzzle.

Oct 2018 Jasmine Reid

mythie

muzzle.

With arms bound, and wrists blue.
I will always creep to you.

With a muzzle, like a dog.
I always treat you like a god.

Licking at your feet.
Gnawing at your meat.

You go in, four fingers deep.
Your love what I yearn to keep.

When bound to you.
I feel so brand new.

Please hide me away.
Your bed is where I lay.

Legs stretching on silk.
As I swallow up your milk.

I need more.
I get down on fours.

You kick me down into the dirt.
It hurts whenever you insert.

Yet it’s your body I desire.
Moans in sync like a choir.

I can feel your heat deep inside me.
Nails on your back, digging with glee.

I fall asleep amongst the chain.
I wake up with the muzzle again.