Long nights became months
Of waiting for you to be back
It didn't matter anymore
For I know you'd never return.
You found comfort from other blankets
Which mine was too thin to be shared
You got a new mattress
Where you lie down and sleep peacefully
Knowing there's no more ME to love YOU anymore.

we're stuck here.
where we embrace anxiety and depression
instead of fighting it.
where if you are happy,
you might be fake.

cause everybody feel sadness.

but I don't choose to live in it.

it has been a year.
since you stopped talking to me.
a year when you broke my heart and I decided to use someone else's to fix it.
a year where I was miserable and maybe desperate.
a year when I was scared but hid behind the mask of happiness.

and its almost a year when i was healed.
fixed from the broken pieces you left me with.
a year when I learned to smile again,
not only showing my teeth but real emotions.

real emotions and feelings we failed to share.

you'll be fine.*

that's all they can say.

but they don't know how scary it is.

how scary the lights in club can make you dizzy.
how scary they might think you are just going crazy?

how the chocolates that used to make you happy,
causes the attacks that isn't healthy.

how scary the people you used to see every day,
suddenly turns to unfamiliar faces each time you wake up.

it is not easy to be sick like me.

when all you have is memory...

but also that's everything you'll have to lose.