"I am worried about you"
      "Don't be I'm fine I promise"
"Please just talk to me"
      "I'll text you tomorrow"
"Okay.. I love you"
     "I love you more"
That was the last conversation I had with my best friend before he attempted suicide. He lives across the country and is currently getting help in a mental hospital. If you're thinking about suicide, please stop. Someone cares about you, I promise.

As I go through life I discover that nothing I have ever done is original
That's not necessarily bad but it is a little heartbreaking
I've always wanted to be special, different, important
I'm just like everyone else though
When I was younger, even now, people don't know me for me
They know me for my family
I wanted to be known for myself
I'm growing to realize that doesn't even matter
The opinions I should really value are okay with my lack of originality and love me all the same

What if alpacas are a hairy type of land fish?
If the moon is made of cheese does that mean space cows are really a thing?
Why do people say give things time when everything significant thing that happens does so in a moment?
What if the government assigned famous people before they were famous and that's why a lot aren't really talented?
Why do schools promote sleep and extracurriculars then give you so much homework you don't have time to do anything else?
Why does "I love you" not mean anything anymore?
Is it normal to ask so many questions?
Is normal even a thing?
Which religion is true and how do we know?
What if mentally ill people just see the world as it is and they're medication is just to keep a secret?
Who is actually reading all of this?
Why are we living if the world is just going to be engulfed by the sun's explosion or our own nuclear warfare?
Why do most girls sing breakup songs and most guys sing love songs?

You hold her
You kiss her
You pretend to care
You listen
You tell her you want to be with her
You have *** with her best friend.

Not many people notice me.
The ones that do wish bad things for me.
I am alone.

I talk to a few friends.
But you can't really call them "friends" if they only feel bad for you.
I am alone.

My mother talks as if I'm a burden she is forced to carry.
My father only stays because if he left it would hurt the reputation he has worked so hard for.
My sister acts like I am an insufficient speck of matter.
I am alone.

When a boy gives me attention, I ruin it by loving the feeling too much.
I talk too much.
I laugh too much.
Then they leave me for the next girl.
I am alone.

Sometimes I am sad.
I am so sad I see no reason to breathe.
People don't like sad so I put on a happy face with the hope that one day I can say "I am not alone"

I have a lot to say in most moments
The words just don't decide to appear until the moment is over
I'm quite the conversationist when I get a few words out
But I freeze in large groups
I can never seem to find the right time to speak

There is a level between friends and dating
The median is a confusing area
You both like each other and you act like you're dating
But you aren't
From what I've discovered it's exactly like dating but without the title
"Talking" to more than more than one person would be bad
But you aren't dating
You get them gifts and maybe even say you love them
But it's just talking
It's like a trial run for the relationship
Because going ahead and having a relationship would be too much