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For her to dance her dance again-
Pathetic fantasy falsely pestering
The painful peace forced to bear.

She danced and danced
Those she loved stood as witness.
Alas for me the dance...
Away.
Further.

She does dance her dance.
I wept.
For my love had ceased to exist at that moment.
Before me stood an imposter; a false idol -
With a form identical to the elegance and splendor of Hers,
But whose eyes stared through me with no warmth
Eyes that gave me no hope for a future worth forging,
Eyes that dart through my heart- tearing and shattering
All that is and was.
I no longer weep.
Memories leading up to the moment,
Find themselves everyday in thoughts.
Eviscerating heart and mind again and again
And again and again.
I can not weep.
A mind a drift, lost in madness
by the sound of your cries,
oh how I long for your return; but all I hear is goodbye,
your lust has long a passed me and its
driving me to cry.
How I long for your sighs and your lies.
I sit here, hear, drunk, yelling out
how its gone: the taste of your waist and by God,
the heat from your chest
was the best. You never let me rest, jumping
and clawing, till their was blood on my back.
Your lipstick on my chest.
And your gone.
And I'm back to this drink.
This is a rough draft from a series I want to write. I get as drunk as i can and start writing this stream of consciousness.
far from me
Across this sea
She lies awaiting.
A Queen?
Beauty with no parallel,
A humanity so unworldly,
I sail.  
As Venus guides me towards her reflection,
I pray my Queen maintained her affection.
I pray to speak, to say, to taste,
With haste
I pray,
She remembers me, as I enter her bay.
Let her look up to to her mirror
Let her know that I know,
Let her know she leads my way.
She is a Queen.
I know for sure,
She is more.
Walking along a desert, a fool,
Thirst prolonged, a heat unbearable,
As if a passion is stirring,
Screaming, is the fool,
For allowing the desert to consume him.
Alas in the distance he finds the oasis,
Shimmering bright with a lovely invitation,
Radiance divine she invites him, though
The fool is not trusting, perhaps a mirage,
A trick for the trickster. But no,
The fool enters his oasis;
Castor beans and rosary peas with the beautiful Oleander
Adorn and decorate the oasis.
Beauty contrasted by the harsh desert around,
The fool smiles.
Dearest love,
Unattainable yet present,
Emotions unyielding,
The steep smoldering pains,
panicking penetrating joy,
You can never know.
Dearest love,
On roads which I may never travel,
On curves which remain untouched,
On hills I’ll never trek,
I long for you, no echo back.
Distract from truth
It smacks back
Anger and sadness, they stack.
Dearest love,
This too shall pass.
My hope, it cannot last.
I feel one way,
You don’t
So I’ll slowly go away.
Whispering softness
strengthening simple ideas ,
slashing at a psyche;
increasingly unstable. Hold
For hours, just hold.
Please, the symphony of maddening toil
nearly complete drawing out the inevitable.
Whisper to me please,
It's too loud here.
#maddening #loneliness #Work
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