if you're looking for a warm embrace
in the darkness- just look, we're already there
I'm here, we're here: with open arms.

I know darling, I gave you an ocean of words
when all you needed were a few drops of rain.

After all this time
There are no worries
It is as it has always been
We are one
And forever does exist

There is no I in denial.
They kiss in bed.
They roll around.

There is no I in denial.
He bought her flowers.
She placed them in a vase.

There is no I in denial.
They hug outside of
traditional thought.

I do not know how we got here,
but I know I don't want us
to stay.

There is no I in denial.
They **** in bathrooms.
They make love in gardens.

There is no I in denial.
She blew a kiss.
He caught a tough break.

There is no I in denial.
He holds a box of his things,
after being shown out.
She says they'll manage.

I do not know how we got here,
but I know I don't want us
to stay.

There is no I in denial.
They kiss in bed,
but it's not the same.
They roll around in bed,
but it begins
to feel
like effort.

There is no I in denial.
He bought her less.
She said it didn't matter.

There is no I in denial.
He feels like his father,
imagining things
she's doing.

I do not know how we got here,
but I know I don't want us
to stay.

There Is No I In Denial.
They don't talk as much.
They sit farther apart.

There Is No I In Denial.
She asks him what's wrong.
He resents her care.

There Is No I In Denial.
He gets drunk and
breaks the vase.
The flowers lay,
covered in wet glass,
sleeping in a puddle.

I do not know how we got here,
but I know I don't want us
to stay.

THERE IS NO I IN DENIAL.
They don't talk, they yell.
They don't remember each other.

THERE IS NO I IN DENIAL.
He drinks more.
She feels less.

THERE IS NO I IN DENIAL.
They were married underneath
an oak tree,
  She said, "I do."
He smiled and said,
  "I'm so lucky."

The flowers lay on the floor,
  dying.

I do not know how we got here,
but I know I don't want us
*to stay.

3AM
3AM thoughts are not a thing of beauty.
3AM thoughts haunt you.
They do not care if you have school the next day.
They do not care if you have to wake up early the next day.
Hell, they do not care if you've stayed up the past week because of them.
3AM thoughts are romanticized.
They are not something you want.
They are not something you need.
They are not something you desire.
3AM thoughts chill you to the bone
They cause anxiety
They cause bad grades
They cause chaos
3AM thoughts cause tears.
They do not fill you with happiness
They do not fill you with hope
They do not fill you with future goals.
3AM thoughts haunt you
With "what ifs"
With "why wasn't I good enough"
With "will I ever be good enough"
3AM thoughts fill you with questions that will never be answered.
"What if I was skinnier"
"What if I was prettier"
"What did I do"
3AM thoughts are all about you.

Dear future,
I am not afraid of you,
Life is searching for the rainbow at the end of every storm,
And from every setback, and every letdown thrown my way,
I will rise up like a Phoenix from the ashes of my own ruin and demise,
And, my dear future,
I will make mistakes,
But from these mistakes I will only grow,
To know that I am okay,
Because If life was with out mistakes we'd all just be wandering travelers on a straight and joyless road to nowhere,
And dear future, this may be hard to believe, but darkness does not exist,
It is merely the absence of light,
and sorrow just the absence of a happiness that always shines through,
And when all the pain and bad in the world is washed away,
all that will be left is love and beauty,
Because between every cloud there is a silver lining
And after sadness and grief there is only hope.
Hope in every mother and father,
Hope in every daughter and son,
Because my dear future,
We are not afraid.
And together, the rainbow we are trying to find isn't so far after all

I'll leave my window open
            so in darkness-deep
            maybe, just maybe
            you'll hear me weep.