and **** everybody, I'm ready for a new start
this would all be a whole lot easier if only...
I can't wait to be far away
I shouldnt have lied and said I was okay.
I should have asked you for help.
Oh god, I need your help.
I am shattered.
Do you not see my broken bones?
Do you not see the way I cry out for help?
I just want to be noticed.
I shouldn't have lied.
But you should've known.
maturity is staring life straight in the face
and being willing to live it.
I'm writing this a bit after I wrote the original poem: upon further reflection it seems to me that it is problematic to say to people with depression that they are immature- and that is not my intention at all. Anyone who wants to die (which is not mutually exclusive to depression) because of mental illness is obviously exempt from the idea presented in the above poem. Mental illness is not something I am qualified to speak on nor do I consider myself capable on commenting on such a thing and it would be ridiculous for me to do so. This therefore is a standard that I hold myself to, alone, as a person without mental illness; therefore it does not apply to someone that has mental illness.
That being said, this poem is intended to focus on the day to day activities we partake in as a human race and the maturity that comes with accepting things as-they-are rather than how we wish them to be. There comes a time when people grow up and decide that life is worth living, every single bit of it. And that is what I'm talking about.
In love, there is a sacrifice:
Your happiness for your companion's happiness.
What they enjoy may not make you happy...
But isn't it worth seeing eyes light up?
Smiles stretch across cheeks?
Shoulders rise in anticipation?
*A thousand times *yes.
I have no idea
I just typed
and sometimes, you have to find a reason to wake up in the morning
that isn't another person- and maybe it will be again, one day,
but not that morning (and not that person)- for that morning,
you have to wake yourself up. you don't have to
give up on the hope of having a different set of eyes
to dream about, but you have to give up on seeing them again
sometimes you can't. Sometimes you won't.