I hate it here,
where chaos is too much,
much too present,
I want to disappear,
behind curtains of hair
or anything else to
hide my descend,
there is something that
needs to be understood;
I don't deal well with
too-much-ness,
Anxiety has its own smell,
it resides in the comfort of my hood,
and, when they look at me
as if their eyes can undress,
I slip a false smile on my lips,
while my soul's opposition begs to yell.

I first saw her when I was a young kid
she didn't see me because I hid
She was very pretty
but looked at everyone with pity
she was so small
yet she was so tall
she didn't know me
but she could
and she would

we were now teens
where i could be seen
i wanted help
i hated myself
but she was there
she told me what to wear
she said we were friends
till the end

she saw how i thought i was fat
said she would help me get flat
it will be a big fray
but do as i say
she told me

eat less she said
you wont have dread.
lose more weight
you already ate
your so close
pretty like a rose.

just like a rose in a flash of red
i was dead
i was so light
not daring to take a single bite
i was gone
just before dawn.
the self hate was still there
Ana didn't seem to care.

she stood next to the grave
there the last gift she gave
a wicked smile
and took another name from the file.

this was her plan all along
a long twisted song
it was so wrong
now i'm gone
because of that self made demon spawn.
Ana Anorexia has killed me.

Many read
          Some comprehend
       Few feel.