I told you I wouldn't allow someone to hurt me before
And you promised you wouldn't be the one
You said you'd protect me
And not let anyone lay a finger on me
But you ended up hurting me most
More than anyone has ever before

I know I should leave
Because that would be best for me
But I love you so much
It hurts lesser to be bruised than to live a life without you

I'm in pain
But I can't tell which brings me more pain

Here I am
Sitting on the couch
Realising I'm becoming someone full of doubts
I am now someone I have never wanted to turn out

All I wanted was to love you
And to give you the best parts of me
But I'm so afraid of losing you
I end up losing myself
To fear, to doubts

I hate to question you about your past
I know that's where they should belong

But I can't stop myself from digging things up
I can't help but to probe
And the more I probe, the more I doubt

Can somebody please help me out

3am is the hour for the brokenhearted
We get our hearts broken again and again as we play that heart wrenching memory on repeat

3am is not the hour for the weak hearted
At this hour we make life's hardest decision
To choose if we can still go through this again 24 hours later

The strongest of hearts isn't measured by the number of rough days down but is by making the decision to still stay alive and feel the pain.

What do I do if the one I love is the one whom hurts me most.

10, 9, 8
And I wait

7, 6, 5
I laugh at my life

4, 3, 2
I slowly count

When I reach 1
I wonder if this is what I want

In, out, in, out
I breathe out

Who exactly in this world can help me out

Here I am standing,
Clueless,
Faithless

A million possibilities running through my mind,
I'm confused,
Helpless

Seems like honesty from another is the hardest thing one can ever ask for

I'm feeling dejected,
In a way I was rejected,
Feelings indeed can be ruthless

Peering at the sea view over the balcony from the room,
Like the strong waves crashing against the shore,
With each passing feeling, one hitting harder than the one before.
I'm not the only one in the room,
But I've never felt so alone before.

The first night is always the hardest.
And you thought that maybe the second might be easier,
So will the following.

Perhaps you'll get used to it gradually
But that's not true.

It cuts deep every time you wake up,
Having to accept the reality all over again.
You're on a perpetual suicide
Except that you wake up instead of die.

Am I still the first you think of
When your eyelids flutter awake
And the last on your mind till you drift away into deep sleep as always

I think of you still, especially at ungodly hours
Then it got to me that, has it ever been me at all

You were my comfort zone,
And I love you for sticking around despite having seen all my flaws.

We both know I'll always catch you when you fall,
You're the one I'd willingly take a bullet and die for.

It used to be us against the world.
But I'm not sure since when did things between us changed.
How did it became you against me?

And if I listen to the silence quiet enough,
I can hear my heart breaking.

Do you need someone,
Or do you need me?
Am I here to fix you,
Or with me you feel complete?

Lately I've been thinking
A lot about you and me.
Let me know if you love me,
If not please don't make my heart bleed.

You tasted like peppermint,
Just the way I imagined how your kisses would be.

Refreshing,
With a tinge of sweet aftertaste,
It was pretty addictive too.

As I lean back in to your warm embrace,
Asking for another hug,
My eyelids involuntarily flutter open,
And the depressing realization hits me.

It was just a dream.

Like how the waves comes crashing on the shore,
Each wave hitting harder than the one before,
I now know that you don't need water to feel like you're drowning.
My guilt swallow me whole.

My heart wasn't aching
It was shattering

Life is a game none of us signed up for
Were we really set to live
Or are we just counting down to the last day of our lives

Life is a game where none of us gets to win
We'll never outplay death
No matter how hard we try
Death is the only thing that's promised in this life

You can try to run
And try your best to hide
But death will claim you one day
Willing or not

'Cause darling you see
Even the brightest stars burn out

As I lay awake at 4am tonight,
I ponder hard about all that's going on in my life.

Am I the only troubled one with not a clue on where to go in mind,
Or have I been abandoned and left behind.

Because as I lay awake tonight,
Looking at the only constant, troubles, in my life
I'm starting to think that perhaps death has a heart,
For always following me closely behind.

I don’t need your answers,
Or your love,
Or to feel the warmth of your kiss.

I think what I really need is a break,

And some peace
,
I just need someone who can help me get some sleep.

I disappoint people and people disappoint me

"I'll be here" they say,
"You can count on me", that's what they all said.

But who is really here to save me from the darkness that's swallowing me whole?

I've never been too fond of taking pictures of the boundless sky
Not because it's not beautiful, it is.

I've never seen anything quite like the constellation of stars,
How they line up,
Waiting for us to decipher what the universe have in store for us
Or how the moon always seems to be looking out for me,
Following me silently wherever I go.

But why would I want to spend my time trying to capture something that's so far away when I've got you so much closer,
Whom's equally magnificent.

You're my sun, my moon and all my stars.

We all have our own battles to fight
Who's to judge whose is harder tonight

It's gonna be tough but we're all putting up our best fight
If one day death ever comes, we can say we've lived one helluva life

What happened to "through thick and thin"
Or those "I'm just 8 digits away" promises?

You used to be the first I'd turn to
Despite whatever obstacles I've faced,
No doubt the first I'd share my joy to too.

But it seems like the older we've grown,
The further apart we get too.
Every now and then I look back at what we used to be
I find myself thinking man, I wish things will go back to the same.

I know that change is inevitable,
I only can hope that this change would be for the better.
If there's any pain that comes along with it,
Well it better be worth it.