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Hadrian Veska Nov 2017
All I can do
Is be better a me
Than the one I was yesterday
But it's never enough
I won't ever feel worth it
Worth your time or effort
Though the mere thought
Of your soft smile
Makes me try harder
Than I ever have before
Hadrian Veska Oct 2017
Above as us
The sons of God
First in the heavens
And the first to fall
Down to shadow
The depths of hades
Hadrian Veska Apr 2016
A simple bright flower
Just now budding
On a breezy green hill
Overlooking a valley

The wind carried a soft voice
And a pleasant aroma
That mingled with each other
Dancing over a meadow

Then my attention turned
To a lone oak tree
Standing strong and tall
Yet ever gently shifting

I was at peace
So you can understand my dismay
When I opened my eyes
To an empty piano
And a bow on a stage
Hadrian Veska Feb 2018
Out there it moves
Consciousness emitted like waves
From somewhere deep within

All standards and thought
The result of its presence
Like waves across water

Its laws as unknown to us
As gravity itself is
To the planets and stars it moves

But none the less it rules them
As does this distant thing
To all our deepest beliefs
Hadrian Veska Nov 2017
Moss and mold
Brick and stone
The marching ages
To carry alone
The sickness spread
Its corruption whole
An ancient evil's
Final goal  
To cover the world
In a thoughtless haze
And to rule once more
Until the end of days
Hadrian Veska Apr 2018
Distant mother across the sea
Why have you abandoned me
Though try I might to find my way
I'm tossed by waves of churning grey
I recall your face smiling bright
Now all I see is endless night
Do with me as you did the moon
Piece me back together soon
Hadrian Veska Feb 2017
We are alone in the universe
Spinning on endlessly
A single blue marble
On the spiral of eternity

The universe is empty
There's no reason to explore
They say authoritatively
Be still and dream no more

Its too dangerous, it costs too much
And it isn't worth out time

Is that what the great explorers said
In the stories, myths and rhymes?

If we could all unite
Under such a common goal
We could not only better ourselves
But creation as a whole

They say that we're alone
And indeed we may be
But we'll never know for sure
Unless we go and see
Hadrian Veska Dec 2017
Mildly, mildly
Veiled does she lean
In marbled archways
Yet never is seen

She smiles longingly
Remembering yore
What she has done
And who it was for

Many thousands pass by
But pay her no heed
For the sacrifice she made
Or the depths of her deeds

Though she is forgotten
Her smile lingers on
Until the final day
When all the world is gone
Hadrian Veska Dec 2016
In the well of my mind, is a voice.
A voice not entirely my own.
Beckoning me to travel deeper,
Within my own subconscious.

Though, if I listen,
I come to a place wholly unfamiliar.
Seemily outside the bounds
Of my own thought or reason.

And the voice says to me,
"Come now just a little deeper.
You are so close to seeing the truth,
With the scales peeled from your eyes."

Never have I seen
What comes after these words.
I always wake up in a sweat,
As if my body itself wishes to spare me

From some long forsaken iniquity,
That resides only within
The dark recesses of the mind.
Hadrian Veska Nov 2020
A dream, a memory
Seen afloat
Down river banks
And sides of boats
Long lost and lonesome
But ever cheerful
It carries on
Never fearful
For it knows to be
Is still to hope
Thought it may not see
The greater scope
Yet it floats along
On a path unknown
Hoping to be
No longer alone
Hadrian Veska Aug 2017
A dream of eyes
Ever watching
From distant nebula
Perceiving all

A steady gaze
Piercing through
The stars themselves
Intently waiting

For the signs
To appear in the heavens
The dimming of the stars
And the waning of the light
Hadrian Veska Aug 2016
I finally remembered
Who I truely was
I felt the warmth of purpose
Surge through me
All was well with the world

And then I woke up
Hadrian Veska Jun 2016
I recalled a dream
In countless hours
Of wind swept woods
And tall stone towers
Where meadows echoed
A thick sweet song
Where the quiet river
Flowed lazily along
A long lost place
I recall to mind
A forgotten world
Where I hope to find
A glimpse of your smile
That once I knew
When the world was young
And we were too
Hadrian Veska Mar 2018
I've never seen her
But I've heard her voice
Beckon out to me
From some distant place
In my heart I knew
She was no longer
At least not in the way
One would think her to be
And yet I pined for her
To see and to hold her
As if she was my own
Though I knew her not
Hadrian Veska Mar 2018
Ah yes, I've seen you.
Many and myriad times
Through the old looking glass.

Once it was used
To observe the celestials,
Now it lies dormant.

Unused, save for my studies
In the twilight hours
Between dusk and dawn.

Yet no matter my subject,
Each night you appear
Stunningly before my eyes.

Amid the stars and constellations
Bathed in soft and distant light;
You radiate a heavenly glow.

But though I see you,
I know not where you are.
You are wholly foreign to me.

A far off dream,
A dream that dissapears
With the coming of the light.
Hadrian Veska Aug 2018
A few coins
Lay scattered on the floor
Not any that I use
But ones I've seen before
From when I visited you
All that time ago
I still won't pick them up
Though I should I know
The truth is though
They remind me of you
When I am alone
With nothing left to do
Just their simple presence
A link from you to me
Is all the reminder I need
Of your distant guarantee
Hadrian Veska Feb 2018
Who knows how long I listened
To the gentle crackling of both fire and page
As the shadows danced lethargically across the room
Quiet but not silent, my thoughts were clear
I was content for the first time in a long while
A fitting memory to store for the long journey ahead
Hadrian Veska Mar 2017
A gentle wind echoes across the plain
Not a violent gust, but a whispering breeze
Those that feel it are comforted
Though many insist

They cannot feel it at all

The breeze will soon pass
Traveling over the hills and mountains
Sweeping past the shimmering sea
To the far lands beyond

Until it is no more
Hadrian Veska Dec 2018
Alabaster dyed
A trembling voice sighed
Sheets of amber gold
Someone close to hold

For when the world
Washes away
Hadrian Veska Jul 2016
Memories of a distant star
Your love is near
Yet you are far

Oh to what lengths
I would have traveled
To see you in the stars unraveled

But the world was cruel
And time was too
Plucking me away from you

So now I stare
At that distant light
That once we watched

Together at night
Hadrian Veska Apr 2018
The past is forgotten
And the future is unknown
We live in the present
Murky and limitless
In what can be achieved
Neither past nor future
Have any recollection of us
The past only distant hopes
The future only half remembered dreams
We exist between destinations
We are not the ones who left
Long ago on this jounrey
Nor are we the ones
Who will arrive on distant shores
In far off eternities
We are all there is
And all there is, is now
Hadrian Veska Feb 2020
We have all we need
No worry or anxiety
Plenty for ourselves
And plenty for others
Our path has been made clear  
We hear what is true
And we act upon it in faith
There is no law left but love
For in love we can do no wrong
We have many places to go
And great things to do
they will all be done in time
For now let us pray
Being watchful until morning comes
Hadrian Veska Sep 2016
I fear many things
But death is not one
No, my greatest fear
Comes after deaths done

I fear I will wake
Alone and cold
In yawning darkness
With no one to hold

Who said after all
That when we all die
We go to the same place
Below or on high?

Perhaps then death
Is meerly isolation
And being alone in the dark
Is all our destination
Hadrian Veska Dec 2016
From the forests to the seas
Great planets and beyond
Ever wanderers we
Until we are but gone
Hadrian Veska Aug 2016
Every so often they would come in
Turn the lights on and ask me questions
Then record my responses

Never showing emotion
They only asked and observed
Perhaps seaching for certain responses

The room had no windows
I could not truely tell
If it was day or night

My memories were blurred
And with each passing test
They only grew more clouded

The observers returned again
This time not asking
But telling

They told me things
Both mundane and strange
Supposed events and occurrences

Whether they were in the future
Or the distant past
I did not know

I listened to and answered
The faceless observers
For what seemed like days

The time came
When they seemed satisfied
With the knowledge I had gained

And they endeavoured
To show me one final thing
By wheeling out a simple mirror

They faced it towards me
And what I saw looking back
Shocked me to my core

In the dim relection
I saw a strange machine
With churning part and glowing orbs

This machine was me
Though I knew not how
For it was not a form I recalled

One of the larger observers explained
I was the last intelligence
Of a long extinct race

In fact they told me
I was the last individual intelligence
In the universe

For they were all part
Of a greater hive mind
That had absorbed all creation

They planned to bring me
Before that grand being itself
Once preperations were made

Silently and without emotion
They left the room
And turned the lights off again

I was alone again

I, the sole survivor
Brought back from the oblivion
Of an antiquated age

To face the god of this one
Hadrian Veska Jun 2018
The skies drip
An amaranth hue
Twisted colors
No longer blue

Burning oceans
Reflect in the skies
Distant lands
Where the sun never dies

And beyond those seas
Forlorn shores
The remnants of
Forgotten wars
Hadrian Veska Apr 2018
Amber stars
Light the way
In-between
My vertebrae
Where oceans swirl
On distant shores
The remnants of
What came before
And there within
Myself to find
Who I was
Will be in time
Hadrian Veska Mar 2017
Everything has two sides
Two sides of the same horseshoe
Appearing to have different ideals
But secretly hating the same thing

The left hates religion
The right hates science
The left hate guns
The right like violence

The left are for equality
Of like minded people
The right are for liberties
Not necessarily equal

Two sides of the same horseshoe
Whether flat or broad
Thinking they are right
And the other one is flawed

When indeed they are inseparable
Both hating one another
Fracturing and dividing
Us and every other
Hadrian Veska May 2016
I ascended the final set of steps
Leading to that ancient temple
The cherry blossom trees
Were just now blooming

There were no standing guards
As I had expected there to be
So I walked over the bridge
And opened the great wooden doors

The inside was dimly lit
Only a few hanging lamps
Illuminated another set
Of carved stone steps

I bowed and then continued the climb
The further I went
The more I became aware
Of a strange new aroma

the air became more dense
And as I noticed this
I realized there must be
Incense burning nearby

The sweet smoke filled my head
the end of the stairs were now in sight
And as I reached the top
I came to my journey's goal

She sat there in the center
Amid luxurious pillows and cushions
Her hair was sleek and black
And her kimono rich with color

Though her eyes were closed
She smiled and shifted elegantly
Her shadows flowed
In the low candle light

Before I mustered the courage to speak
I looked upon her for some time
She was the most beautiful woman
I had ever seen

She exuded power and knowledge
Yet looked no more than a young woman
I could only describe the aura she gave
As a sinister form of youth

Finally I bowed before her
To ask the question
That I had traveled so far
In order to ask her

Pouring out my soul I told her
How I had lost my family
Along with everything I had
And how I was now lost

I told her I felt
As though the sun itself
Was angered with me
And refused to show me its face

Telling her all these things
I began to cry
Though as I looked to her
Her eyes still stood shut

After a time of silence
She finally spoke to me
"The sun shines upon us everyday
Whether we can see it or not"

As she spoke her presence filled the room
To the point were I wasn't certain
If she truly sat before me
Or was watching from afar

The presence was unlike anything
I had ever felt before
As the feeling grew
I began to forget my previous troubles

Her presence permeated my very spirit
Comforting and guiding me somehow
The air seemed thick and heavy
Laden with a strange sensuality

Not the feeling one has for a lover
No, this was a primordial feeling
The kind of deep seated love
That a god might have for their creation

With this thought I looked on her anew
She smiled once more
The light reflecting off her glossed lips
As she opened her Amethyst eyes
Hadrian Veska Apr 2016
I ascended the final set of steps
Leading to that ancient temple
The cherry blossom trees
Were just now blooming

There were no standing guards
As I had expected there to be
So I walked over the bridge
And opened the great wooden doors

The inside was dimly lit
Only a few hanging lamps
Illuminated another set
Of carved stone steps

I bowed and then continued the climb
The further I went
The more I became aware
Of a strange new aroma

the air became more dense
And as I noticed this
I realized there must be
Incense burning nearby

The sweet smoke filled my head
the end of the stairs were now in sight
And as I reached the top
I came to my journey's goal

She sat there in the center
Amid luxurious pillows and cushions
Her hair was sleek and black
And her kimono rich with color

Though her eyes were closed
She smiled and shifted elegantly
Her shadows flowed
In the low candle light

Before I mustered the courage to speak
I looked upon her for some time
She was the most beautiful woman
I had ever seen

She exuded power and knowledge
Yet looked no more than a young woman
I could only describe the aura she gave
As a sinister form of youth

Finally I bowed before her
To ask the question
That I had traveled so far
In order to ask her

Pouring out my soul I told her
How I had lost my family
Along with everything I had
And how I was now lost

I told her I felt
As though the sun itself
Was angered with me
And refused to show me its face

Telling her all these things
I began to cry
Though as I looked to her
Her eyes still stood shut

After a time of silence
She finally spoke to me
"The sun shines upon us everyday
Whether we can see it or not"

As she spoke her presence filled the room
To the point were I wasn't certain
If she truly sat before me
Or was watching from afar

The presence was unlike anything
I had ever felt before
As the presence grew
I began to forget my previous troubles

Her presence permeated my very spirit
Comforting and guiding me somehow
The air seemed thick and heavy
Laden with a strange sensuality

Not the feeling one has for a lover
No, this was a primordial feeling
The kind of deep seated love
That a god might have for their creation

With this thought I looked on her anew
She smiled once more
The light reflecting off her glossed lips
As she opened her Amethyst eyes
Hadrian Veska Jun 2016
What waits behind
The mirror at night
When the world is quiet
And devoid of light

What strange thing stir
In endless reflection
What darkness spreads
In boundless direction

Is my reflection my own
Or is it just a disguise
Which world is true
And which one is the lie
Hadrian Veska Apr 2018
Solemn they loom
Those ancient vague colossi
Unfazed by the hurricane sands
As they guard the way below

Down where their watch ends
Does that great gate lie
The gate to the underworld
The dread crypts of Amlygmynon

Since time immemorial has it been sealed
Undisturbed by nature or man
And rightfully has it laid dormant
For what lies beyond is madness

Old terrors and vengeful gods
Lie in wait within the mazes below
To reign over our world once more
As they did when the world was young

And chief among them Amylgmynon
The very shadow that still lingers
Within the back of all our minds
The feeling of being watched

Ineffable Ruler of the Unknown
Ever vigilant of his fallen kingdom
While he sleeps long eons by
Waiting for the seal to be broken
Hadrian Veska May 28
Ah, they tell me the world has ended
Exactly how, they do not know
But shortly thus we will be gone
Enveloped in a great mist or smoke

I look at the back of my hand
And wonder in what I presume
Are my very last moments
Why I do not seem to care
Hadrian Veska Feb 2019
Part of this machine
That keeps on spinning
Beneath a sun
That's ever dimming

And I
Know that it won't end

With my senseless hope
And unearned pride
I work to make
These hands of mine

Something
I could believe in

But I know
I can't go on forever
Turning dials
And pulling levers

There has
To be something more

So until these hands
Of mine break away
I'll pray to God 
To see better days

And that
I might see you again

The Lord my angel to send
Hadrian Veska Jul 2021
The dry tundra calls to you
Whispering a phrase
A memory that flows
In between and through
The forest needle and pine
Something lies beyond
Far past the snow and sterile ice
Over the great mountains
The places of our birth
Nothing more than an inclination
That all we hope there to be
Has not yet been made know
That the secret hidden for ages
Has in turn hidden us within it
Preserving us in a way unseen
That when the time does come
In far flung ages hence
All things might be revealed
And the barren wastes
Turn to fruitful gardens
Hadrian Veska Apr 2016
I dreamed once
Of someone I loved
I made the mistake
Of imagining my life with them

Everything was beautiful
The world seemed brighter
Anything was enjoyable
As long as it was with them

And then I woke up
In my dull empty room
Sad, yet not surprised
I laid my head back down

As a tear escaped my eye
Hadrian Veska Jan 2022
It was a long journey home
From the great Eastern front
My sword in its sheath
And shield on my back
Senseless death In a land not our own
Now I return as a shell of myself
The faces of dead men
Hide behind my eyelids
I trudge through unfamiliar streets
Changed by the long decade past
I find it stranger than the far land
I was now returning from
All the great temples
Have been torn down
The God I worshiped
No where to be seen
Brothels and markets
Now stand in places of worship
They tell me the temple
At Anol Mihn yet stands
So I set out for it
Up into the great hills
I take my time on the trek
Unsure of many things
That I used to hold dear,
That I trusted as absolute
The stone path is worn
Overgrown and treacherous
Yet after three days' journey
I arrived at my destination

The temple stood in disrepair
The doors stripped from it
Light shining through holes
And cracks in the high ceiling
I came and bowed to my knees
Before the imposing statue
Of my now forgotten God
Maybe for minutes
Or perhaps long hours
I sat before it
Thinking, praying
If one could call it such
Seeking the one
Who my people had forgotten
Questioning all I had done
And if it was enough
Where I could call home
Now that my home has abandoned
All I once held dear
Yet the statue before me
Sat deafeningly silent

The light shifted slowly
Imperceptibly the pure light
Became gilded rays
As the evening sun sank
Illuminating the thick dust
Hanging weighlessly in the air
I stood up as the light faded
And stepped out side
The twilight had come
And with it I journeyed
Further into the hills
Until I found a grassy place
To rest my weary body
As well as my weary soul
The stars became visible
As I sat down I turned my gaze
To the endless heavens above
I laid my pack beside me
Then laid myself down
In soft untouched grass
Gripped between my fingers
Then closed my eyes

Praying my God may come
In but a whisper
To tell me what to do
To show me the way I just go
And what to do now
That everything I know
Has fallen apart
I cried, and waiting
Spoke and prayed
Yet no answer came
Not in all the long hours of night
I laid there in the hills

Before the morning came I arose
I heard the birds in the bushes and trees
I saw the grass blow in the breeze
I felt the sun bring warmth to my cheeks
And I stood up to survey the earth
To witness if I had any worth
For a moment I stood and then I heard
A voice my own yet not my word
From deep within an answer came
Not from one I knew and not the same
As the God whom I claimed to believe
But He spoke and said He is in me
Not just in stone, temple or heart
But in all those his righteous art
Who seek the truth, peace and love
To them he comes light as a dove
And rests on them and dwells within
Freeing them from bonds of sin
That they may live and live a new
The Creator God who dwells in you
Hadrian Veska Jul 2019
Think

If indeed you still can

To the time before you were born

That vague murky half remembered feeling

Of uninterrupted stasis

Of knowing all that there is

Which is nothing

A contentment in obscurity

Both of body and mind

A time, or more appropriately a place

Where conscious and unconscious are one

Where all things intertwine and weave together

Remember it, for therein lies the key

Just think

Only for a moment

Recall it

If indeed you still can
Hadrian Veska Sep 2018
The rain finds its way through the dilapidated roof

A steady dripping on the worn concrete below

In the corner of the room amid machines long broken

A handful of old screens dimly glow, idle in anticipation

Shakey green lines burst forth from them, codes from a bygone age

Text pours over the damaged monitors and then stops

With the last line of code the remaining machines shut down

Their rest well deserved and as they sleep
something long forgotten

Approaches the abandoned Earth from the Crystalline skies above
Hadrian Veska Oct 2023
A cool and close mist
Hangs over the highland shrubs and trees
Wild and tall grasses bend heavy
Laden with the chill dew
of a perpetually hidden dawn
10 lifetimes of experiences
Have I gathered since I entered here
I feel it was but a few hours ago
Though I have not seen the sun
Nor has the darkness of night
Yet begun to creep into these woods
Maybe from a dream or perhaps
I passed it earlier this strange house
A ***** place with slanted roof and chimney
Sticking out of the earth in such a way
That it appeared to be a natural growth
I feel as though it is so very familiar
Though I cannot say why
Or why no matter the direction I turn
Or for how long I walk
I come unto its doorstep again and again
In my mind it has replaced my own home
If ever I did have another
And whoever might have been waiting there
I have long since forgotten
Yet when I reach this house
Time and time again
I cannot muster the courage to reach out
To take hold of the handle and turn it
To enter in to that abode
And here I come again
I see it emerge out of the gentle fog
Comfortably nestled on a hillside
I stand for a moment at the gate
The walk through it and a long a path
Interspersed with a step or two here and there
As it turned inwards and outwards
Ascending the hill into the homes entrance
In a moment I stood at the door yet again
Hand half outstretched towards the ****
I placed my hand upon
Feeling the cool of brass
Yet the warmth of something else
Something half remembered from youth
From years long since entwined with dreams
I turned the **** gently
Not yet feeling the click of the lock
I felt a fresh wind at my back
And I rather spontaneously
Wrenched my hand and wrist
All the way to the right
I could feel the weight I’ll the door
Unhindered by any lock or stop
And I pushed through the humble
Yet mighty wooden thing open
And was greeted by a deepening night
Full of countless radiant stars.
Hadrian Veska Sep 2017
The flowers bloom and fall
The trees over years grow tall
Great mountains fall and rise
And the stars move in the skies

Calm waters and deep silver pools
The forest and all her vast jewels
The gentle recess of the light
And the dawning of a still night
Hadrian Veska Apr 2021
Be still for a moment
Listen for an hour
Calm yourself
Commune with your heart
Release your fear and doubt
Your anxiety and pain
Spend time seeking
Spend time waiting
Wait upon the Lord
Be still and know
That He is God
Receive His peace
The joy of his Spirit
And His love everlasting
Hadrian Veska Oct 2019
I’ve dreamed dreams
Long and distant wisps
Forlorn wants and vague inclinations
I wander with intent
Thought I’ve long forgotten it
I still feel that geass in my bones
A distant command from my creator
Whom I have never known
And yet I sojourn on
To complete my unknown quest
Hadrian Veska Nov 2016
She walked there
Among the boreal forests
The chilled northern winds
Covering her every track

Eternal in youth
Yet terribly wise
She sang along the frozen river banks
That cut through the deep woods

She sang of forgotten things
Lost to the boughs of sleep
Of journeys once taken
And distant things once said

How she knew of such secrets
And from where they came
I could not dare say
I only knew her song enchanting

A faint aria in the snow
Hadrian Veska Jun 2016
I float on the air
Above the sky
Where stars swirl
And comets pass by

I listen to the planets
Trace their orbit of light
As I waft through the heavens
In the great cosmic night

My vision is filled
With the depth of space
Far colors and stars
That weave and lace

I am of no consequence
And this comforts me
As the planets spin on
Ceaseless and free
Hadrian Veska Jul 2018
Crack and smolder
Smoke and great pain
The fire recedes
In the springtime rain
And though vast oceans
Of green are gone
They'll rise more vibrant
Again before long
Art
Hadrian Veska May 2016
Art
I don't think you're pretty
I think you're a lot like art
Not meant to be pretty
Meant to make me feel something
Hadrian Veska Apr 2016
Legendary king
Warrior of fame
Hid in plain sight
To protect their name

Lost the throne
And had to fight
For what they thought
Was true and right

But in the end
against a tree
They lay broken
On bended knee

The ideal they held
Throughout their life
Brought only sadness
Separation and strife

With their dying breath
They made a deal
To fight once more
Under binding seal
Hadrian Veska Aug 2017
The heavens now gone
The worlds ashen and barren
The great foe defeated
But at the cost of the earth

Longingly do I stare
Into the empty night sky
Contemplating my mistakes
And the shadows of the past

I must carry on
For all those myriads lost
Set the very moon back
Into its perfect orbit

Though my children are gone
I will wait patiently
Eons if I must
For them to return to me
Hadrian Veska Jan 2020
I've heard the words
Of other minds
I've crossed the boundary
Where mundane defines
All that we are
And all we do
We know nothing yet
Pretend we do

I ask you to stop
For a moment and pray
No memorized whispers
You learned on Sunday  
Stop what you're doing
Take your time alone
Admit to your weakness
You're worn to the bone

It's ok to be weak
But pray to be strong
It's ok to be foolish
It doesn't take long
To feel a fire burning
However faintly so
To know that when praying
You are not alone

A simple prayer
Prayed earnestly and often
Has far more power
That one could ever know
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