You've never been the kind,
to speak your mind,
but we've got time to ****.

You say one more drag,
but you still feel sad,
the need overpowers your will.

You can't smoke alone,
or even at home,
so you offer the cancer sticks.

You always feel down,
always wanting to leave town,
this is just a temporary fix.

You say i can stop anytime,
I'm not crossing the line,
smoke one and you can stay.

I say this only burns my tongue,
and fills up my lungs,
But i take one anyway.

I learned today that for eyes to be like oceans they don't have to be blue

Everything i write feels unfinished.
Just like the conversations we have,
the thoughts i push away,
the sobs that are hushed,
the time that is rushed,
and every time i beg you to stay.

It's terrible,
when you stumble upon the realisation that you're not good enough.
But when you conjure up that thought and it slowly starts to creep
from the back of the darkest places,
like fog,
submerging from the depth of the forest,
settling in every corner it could reach,
unexpectedly in the middle of the night.

When the sun rises and daylight floods the room.
You wake up now fully aware that it's everywhere.
surrounding you.
suffocating you.

You're drowning,
and there is no method of escaping your thoughts.
because it would mean to escape yourself.

Then you're left to wonder..
was it because you were doubtful?
Holding back?
So unsure?
Terrified to face the harsh truth and what comes with it?

Is it because you flee from anything and everything that resembles a potential crime scene?
Or is it so agonising to put up a performance all the time?
Attempting to appear assertive and overruling.

But keeping up with appearances can make you lose yourself along the way.
Yet you convince yourself it's not the reason why you feel so scared.
...because you already feel so lost.

Weren't you deserving?
Convincing?
Influential?
Worthy of...anything?

Weren't you enough?

The sun rays dance across my face.
The salty scent of the sea cling onto my hair, clothes and seep into my skin.
My toes sink into the warm sand with each step i take.
The breeze tickles my skin,
causing a shiver to run up my spine despite the heat.
Taking slow footsteps along the shoreline,
the waves constantly crashing against my feet.
Sunglasses perched on the bridge of my nose,
yet i squint every time the sun decides to peak from behind the cotton candy clouds.
Reality slowly fades into the back of my mind,
shoes left behind,
daydreams shortly ensue.

don't string me along
when you're just going to cut me loose
later when you've found
what you've been looking for
all this time
it was you.