Some things,
those acts we did
in rapture
will stay with me
forever.

Someday
they will
lie down with me
quietly
in the grave.

And though
you are gone now
my love,
rest assured
my lips are sealed
to the bitter end.

I am not depressed
I’m just deflated
Out of style and over-dressed
At second-best, I’m overrated

An old birthday balloon
(Out of breath, somewhat bated)
I hum my jingles out of tune
One-hit-wonders soon outdated

Like a song without sound
Mourning a muted meltdown
I’m at the point of no concern
For my inability to yearn

I am -
Whatever comes after
The past, the future
The cries, and the laughter

I remain –
Whatever came before
The purple rain, the midnight train
The ****** and the *****

I am a pixelated painting
Understood by few
Inexplicably containing
Little drops of you

You’re my middle C
A sepia photograph
Of my mundane eulogy
And my previous epitaph

You are my bitter half
The gall in my bladder
My nervous laugh
My endless chatter

You’re my history rewritten
My once shy, twice-bitten
My state-of-the-art
You’re the bottom of my heart

The top of my lungs
You’re my talking in tongues
The motivational quote
In my suicide note

And although I’ll never be free
From this heart on my sleeve
I’ll always wish you to be
The Adam to my Eve.

Inside me
While you grew and grew
I never knew
Your heart was broken
And that there was one
Where there should’ve been two.

After you were born
The doctor explained
Your lungs wouldn’t last
You were breathing too fast
And growing too slow
Your blood flow was mixed
And you had to be fixed.

So right from the start
Your heart wasn’t whole
But your soul
Was a universe
And your eyes
Were comprised
Of millions of galaxies.
Your body was strong
And your cry was a song.

I named you beloved
And through you, I discovered
For the very first time
I was whole.

Please always remember
You are far more beautiful
Than broken
You are my ultimate inspiration
And I’ll always consider you
My most perfect creation.

My friends asked you,
"Do you like her?"
your face gave no clue
and you didn't answer.

my heart sank
as my friend relates this to me.
i sigh a little inside
but on the outside
i play it cool
and pretend it doesn't affect me.

I hurt,
but
really.
who could ever love someone like me?

you tell them:
"she broke up with me"
"she said she'd never leave
but she did"
"she never cared for me
and expected me
to care for her"
"she always lied"
"she broke my heart"

but

i sat in the dark
weeping
and you went out
playing

i was alone.
i called you.
you rejected
my call
and posted
a new photo
on instagram

you refused to meet me
and avoided me in school.

tell me who's heart is broken?
tell me who broke who's heart?

i never left.
you were the one
who walked away.

are you still mine?
are we gonna be okay?

You won't look at me anymore.
It hurts that you refuse to glance my way.
Your warmth, a running tap, it leaks and has
been drained at long last.
There is no future,
today has been lost among the dust and vases
of flowers that forlornly rest and adorn this
empty house.
Everyone offers me apologies as though it
is their fault you've gone.

Now I've got the past to look into.
Daydreams of memories playback
behind the eyelids I can no longer
bring to open.
The bed is long cold and the vacancy
you left cannot be filled and yet I still
lay beside the hole you've carved.
Touch my fingertips to the emptiness
as I trace a specter of a silhouette among
the darkness that the light and shadows
cast over your pillow.  
I wish to sink in to it,
lay my weary head to rest.

You. I dream of you often.
We run in a valley in which stars grow
from the soil,
catch the feathery fluff of petal showers,
flowerbeds are made of sugar,
we swim in ponds of honey
and forever watch the marmalade dawn in
this timeless space of ours.
The night never arrives.
I wake bitterly with tears streaming down,
a waterfall.

Coffee does not taste the same at morning.
My cup sits silently and bleak
it goes cold and untouched.

Every day drags , it's impossible.

More often than not I think of that day,
as I sat in front of you in a crowded room
and you refused to open your eyes and see me.
Even if for one last time.
It was quiet, my mind was tired.
This silly suit I wore now I'll use to go and see you.

Make room for me in your casket,
I'll come and meet you soon.

I've had it with trying to decode all these hidden messages left behind for me. The i love yous that have no follow up. The i miss yous but ill keep my distance. The tip toe steps you take around me. All i need is a little honestly. For ******* once some honesty from people so that i know that im not a fool like im made to think i am. Waiting around for people to finally give me back the same amount i give them. Does. it. end.