the sailors called the sirens beautiful
they wept, tearing out their hair
and tossed it into the ocean
turning it into seaweeds.

the sailors called the sirens beautiful
who then hid themselves in caves, till they passed
their skin growing pale and lifeless
till feathers emerged from their hands.

the sailors called the sirens beautiful
who decided to mutilate their legs
and scar their feet
so they would no longer be human.

the sailors called the sirens beautiful
and the creatures wailed as loud as they could,
screeching noises, ringing
but sounded only like bells to men.

the sailors called the sirens beautiful
but they didn't see beauty or sin
instead,
walking vessels
an empty name
and a prize to win.

her lips tasted like narcotics
and yet i felt the revolution
kissed her fingertips
and smelled marijuana

the dark eyes


and the reckless abandon

she is not the innocence
of the sweet ladies in the water
but the sirens that call to me
beckoning,
never touching

she no longer resembles
the sunset at the ocean
but the violent waves
that tossed the ship

and she is never the sunshine
that guided my mast to shore
but the red light, the fog
that left me wondering
and
lost

For you
I will be the housewife
and obey
and put on my stained apron
with my weathered cracking hands
and cook
your meals hot

For you
I will be the mother
and tell our wonderful blessings
of the perfect man
I met
and how he
fixed me

For you
I will be the good daughter
and force a fake smile
when your mother tells you
that you could do better


For you
I will be the friend
and be your punching bag
in your drunken state
and forgive you
when you come too

For you
I will be the love of your life
and be with you
in all your hardships
and puffy eyes
that even I can’t understand

what victory is it,
when he is not beside me
in soft flesh
but mangled fur

the world will rise and fall
always in a turmoil
those who seek to destroy
minds will stay living after dead

celebrate for now, if you must
already a new danger approches
He was not the first to try
He was the only i've loved.

In mighty kingdoms far away
Grew an elven king, stern and wise
Whose young daughter grew in the fields
with eyes as blue as the clearest skies

Elenir, was the daughters name
who danced amongst leaves like gold
whose laughter rang like a thousand bells
whose fair skin would never grow or old

There a traveller came from mountains
and lost, he wandered beneath the trees
he drank from nameless rivers
and voyaged across the savage seas

They met under the sheets of stars
as she saved him from himself
he touched her hair, felt her voice
and till death, he stayed with the elf

His human life frayed away
After a mere blink of years
She watched and stroked his aging face
and wiped away her tears

And when he passed, she could not bear
the pain that she felt inside
the once swaying trees that danced
felt empty, old and dried

She traveled up to the clifftops
Elenir cried her lovers name
She threw herself into the raging oceans
for her life was never the same

The elven king was despaired to see
the loss of his cherished daughter
He cursed the lands
Set fire blazing
and froze the wicked waters

He hide away his treasured kingdom
and watched as the world around him burned
His soldiers pleaded, his people begged
to not leave the world so spurned

But his heartbreak was too great to deal
The world fell into darkness
and with the once-beautiful Elenirs death
the skies grew black and starless

him: Have you ever been with a girl?

No. I've thought about kissing her a thousand times. She had hair like cotton candy and her voice was like a nightingale. Whenever I was sad, she'd sing me songs and put my name instead. Her skin was so pale like snow and she hated the veins on her eyelids, the ones that looked like lightning crashing. I counted her freckles every night before I went to bed. She was the love of my life and she loved me unconditionally for Gods knows what reasons. And then I messed it up and left, because I got scared. When I begged for her back, she said no.


him: Have you ever been with a girl?

Yes. She had a narrow waist and long brown eyelashes. I kissed them before as she slept. She felt warm against me and I traced the outline of the ink on her back, the bouquet of flowers. And when she got high, I put her to bed and got drunk by myself. We ****** until morning and we watched the sunrise together, over the city skyline. She fed me wild strawberries and we shared the same cup of tea together. When I woke up, she was gone.


him: Have you ever been with a girl?

Yes. I met her in a club and I kissed her outside a supermarket. She devoted herself to me. Called me. Adored me. And I, selfishly, didn't give a single ****. I never responded and if I did, I was far away. My mind was never on her. When I finally apologized, she never texted me back. She said I wasn't her usual type and though I didn't say it out loud, I agreed.


him: Have you ever been with a girl?

Yes. She kissed me on the subway and gave me flowers. When I drank too much, she cleaned up after me and put me to bed. She still kissed me after. She was wild. Reckless. Looking for trouble and I ignored it. I adored every part of her. One day, she whispered I Love You to me when she was drunk. She never mentioned it again. Her eyes darkened over time and I came home to find only someone who looked like her. When she left, I wrote poems about her and burned myself. I got drunk every night alone. I continually slept on the bench in the park, just to be somewhere where we hadn't been. My heart was breaking and she kept smiling.


him: Have you ever been with a girl?

me: Yes.

him: That's hot.

fish weaving in water
cold intake, ***** in
and exhales
crashing,
rolling.

sails on mast
once white with victory
yellowed, left to rot
to fall
shaking lures
and hasty hooks

fragile craft struggling to stay afloat,
thanks the waters
when it crashes to shore.
thanks the sailors
for smoking.

what a cruel thing
to have your other ripped apart from you
cities falling from skies,
heavens tearing asunder,

empty screams
with a hollow heart
Goodbye My Half

the girl screams at him,
'you do not have to walk this path alone,
you do not have to walk it all'
but the dread wolf cannot hear her
over the sound of the wind

her voice is raging in accusation,
yet she falls for it every time
the old god of betrayal apologizing,
for hunting alone once more

the fen'harel turns to stare at her
eyes fading from his warm color
bends down to kiss her,
brown eyes flashing to white

if he knew the truth on how this
would end,
why did the dread wolf
start hunting the sheep


if it was real,
why did he leave?

how many chances has the ships given the ocean
before being relentlessly tossed to the coast
rocking back and forth,
splintering and breaking
the boat in half

how many chances has the ships given to the ocean
before being violently slammed in to rocks
water rushing through the cracks
spilling the sailors
to their depths

how many chances has the ships given to the ocean
to forgive, to promise not to hurt
yet the ships never learn,
and continue to sail

van gogh used to eat yellow paint
because he thought it would make him happy
and although it was poison
and it slowly killed him
he believed it made him happy


(i think you're my yellow paint)

it was always her
that tasted like narcotics
and smoke
everything bittersweet in between

but to her
i tasted of water
and time passing
a shrug, a sideways glance

outstretched hands,
he begs her
to not step closer

reaches out,
he is already gone
and collapses
inside herself

it was not supposed to happen this way,
he swears
the beautiful warrior

the

saviour

////PART ONE/////

tales of old,
of legend,
a lesson
fen'harel
hunts once more

humbled and hallowed,
the gods welcomed him
with open arms
and blinded eyes

shared visions
and revealed dreams
they saw and cried,
but were sealed
away

pointed ears
with gleaming teeth
the fen'harel stalks
once again

leaves die, fall and grow
remind the mortals on earth
of fen'harel
god of betrayal
remind them
He Who Hunts Alone


////PART TWO/////

soft skin
of open mind
the chosen girl
rises

with trembling arms
and a steady voice
she leads the world of men
to victory

hidden skin
fen'harel approaches
clever wit
and wise words
they welcome him

like the gods,
the humans are blind
ignorant
never listening
to their mothers stories
of fen'harel

blur of hope
the herald stands
against demons
against sin
against pride and jealousy

but remembers her humanity
as andrastes chosen
and not andraste herself

soft eyes flash
to white,
when the mortal girl deepened the kiss
a startled gasp
collapse,
for the God fen'harel

white sleeves slipping over her wrists
just a little too big
just a little too
empty.

it's really quite too hard to leave the door open
when it's winter
and the frostbite comes nipping
you never know when
cold rains will blow
if you leave the door open

so please close the **** door
on the way out

after you left
i couldn't stop feeling your touch all over mine
and i could feel the pressure
of your sweet addicting lips
and the pulsing beat of your heart in my veins

and a week after
of sleeping alone
i tried to cut you out of my skin
and no matter the amount of blood that ran
or the number of times i've blacked out
you're still in my veins


you won't get out

do not expect me to love you like you love me
girls like me do not love

we will never meet your parents
or your friends for that matter
we will never dress up for you, or make a promise

girls like me have loved, lost & are lonely
because of the boy who stole our virginity, and not our heart
because of the girl in our math class who said we were too fat to be pretty
because of our friends who said they'd be there for you but left

so do not expect me to love you like you love me
do not love me at all

rip out my throat
and rake your claws downs my face
cut at my skin
lean in to me
and remind me that love is just a distraction

do not leave me breathing
do not be weak
drive your knife in to me
until my breath rattles
and my eyes still
and remind me that love is just a illusion

wear my skin like a cloak
my blood staining your mouth like lipstick
wear my words like a crown
and my hands wrapping around you, like a belt
and remind me once last time, that love is just a weakness

and my mother pulled me aside
and said
"***, you'll never see her again
you don't love her, you're just confused"
but what's confusing about
the storms inside of me
that light up when she
touches me-
and the turmoil of thoughts
and stop and fall silent
for once in my ******* life
she she looks at me-
or how i feel like
i can actually feel
something
everything
when she kisses me

my mother pulled me aside
and said
"***, you'll never see her again
you're just confused"

do not look to him for validation
like you are a child being told what to do
remind him that you are a castle
your lips are bridges
and thighs like stone walls
that will push him out
until he drowns

do not look to him for approval
or wait for him to nod his head
wrap your hands around his throat
and remind him you are a dragon
your eyes like steely fire
and words like sharp talons
that will rip his ego apart
and leave them
laying in the chasm

do not look to him to save you
and slay your demons in bravery
grab his sword, hold your dress
and save him from the beasts
and set him free

and do not, i beg of you
do not look to him for love
because you will not find it there
there is no love the way he ***** you
the way he doesn't even hold you
i have shown you what love does look like

and that's not what love looks like

almost regretfully,
fen'harel turns away

Blessed with a Curse
so ancient,
he forgot which one it is

once upon a time,
in lands of castles, kings and queens
a wild girl lived with her dragon
in caves and fields of green

the two shared a friendship so mighty
plundering villages and towns
until a man came one day
offering her riches and crowns

the prince took her aside and said
"let me call you my queen and wife
but to do this,
i must take the dragons life"

"for without the head of a dragon,
my father would never deem me a hero
my kingdom will suffer without a ruler
so come away from this burrow"

the dragon overheard their conversation
and accepted his doomed fate
for who would keep a lowly dragon
to marry a prince so great

the wild girl gave up her dragon
riches and a promised life, her spur
the wild girl gave up her dragon
a dragon that would have never given up on her

cracked china vase
seep through the crevices
glue it shut
glue it even tighter

pools of water
sink to the floor
sweep it back in
sweep or it's too late

roses laid strewn
spread in every direction
put them back in
For Gods Sake,
Put Them Back In

before slumbers
ruffled blankets,
please know
that we haven't seen

before dreams
the fade, the unreal,
please know
that we haven't spoken

before soft snores
twitches, turns
please know
we haven't touched

before anything
leaving, goodbyes
please know

we are far apart.

he said i was beautiful
my scars make me beautiful
he said that we ended like a hurricane
that it was a storm and than calm
he says we ended beautifully

he killed me inside

as long as a writer is in love with you
you can never truly die

every word they write on paper
will have the whispers from your mouth
and as long as the sounds of the scratching
pencils & the click-clack of keyboards
fill the air
it will follow with the echo of your footsteps
and every line, poem and book
unwritten or unheard of
will have your name written all over it

so fall in love with a writer
because than you'll never truly die

frozen statues,
victims,
what would you have them do

she is part of the world
that he seeks to
destroy

he is not the curse
inflicted on the vessel
soft skin
turned to fur and teeth

only in the fade,
can he mutter apologies
of another life,
where it would be enough

he left her with nothing
but a world
a life
to watch him burn.

you are like a book to me
with pages torn and missing
yet you never fail to show
the mystery and beauty within

the dusty smell of your pages turned
reveal a soft and fragile state
while your cover is hard and strong
but still withering away

i really would not mind
spending the rest of my life
finding your missing pieces
and reading the words in your eyes

to whoever is lucky to love her next…

she will cry. sometimes she will feel like crap with no explanation and she doesn’t owe you one. just hold her and let her cry, kiss away her tears.

you will never worry about her criticizing you because she makes you feel like castle. she will always be there for you, she will kiss you and love you even when you are hard to love.

she will doubt herself and cry, don’t let her go away. remind her that she is smart and capable of great things. she will do great things.

she will complain about the snowy paleness of her skin and the striking blue veins that spread across her skin like lightning. she will be pleased when she loses a couple of pounds of her beautiful curves in her body. do not encourage her, do not get angry. love her.

you will never worry whether she is smarter than you, you just know she is. to this day, she is still the most intelligent girl i’ve ever met.

she takes aliens very seriously. if you’re with her, you’re probably a believer too. watch the night sky with her and watch her eyes light up with excitement when a star falls. she doesn’t realize that they fall for her.

there will be days where she binge watches a show, or cannot stop listening to a song. if you love her, watch the show. listen to the song. join her while she is doing her favourite things. she will remember it.

her kindness is one of her best qualities but remind her that she is strong and cannot be pushed around. she has a voice, she will be heard

when she feels sad and gloomy, always try music. dance with her, swing her around in her favourite twirly dresses and bring her close. she’s a beautiful dancer.

she has storms in her eyes and the waves crashing will make you realize that home doesn’t always have a roof and a doorway, but two eyes and a beating heart.

so for god sakes, do not break her heart. do not ever ******* break her heart because if you were lucky enough to be loved by her , you don’t need anything else

skimming her hands
along the walls,
she rips her gaze away from the murals
that stretch from end to end
and pauses,
digging her nails
chipping paint

she wonders what would happen
if she burned his grand library
down to the
ground


he could only watch
with the fire reflected
in his dread wolf eyes

this is a letter to the girl i last loved
(and maybe still do)

to the girl i last loved,
i'm sorry
i know you were angry for the longest time
and i know you burned my letters and scratched my name off your desk
because you thought i stopped loving you
but i never stopped loving you

i know it took you a long time to heal
because i promised my life to you
and while you dedicated yourself to me
i told you that i couldn't do the same

and i know that it's been months
and you've moved on a new boy with brown eyes
a boy whose name probably graces your lips and throat
and can promise you a life together and mean it

and i know because i still clench my fists
when i think about him calling you "baby girl"
or counting the freckles on your nose
or even touching your fragile pale hands
that used to stroke my hair at night

and i'm sorry that i never told you the truth
and never could, or would, or can
because you either wouldn't believe me
or you'd say i was a fool
(which maybe i am)

i know that you're doing a lot better than when we were together
because you aren't online at 4am anymore
you aren't up at night, waiting for me to come home
you aren't anxious, alone and lonely

your new place looks even more beautiful in the sunlight
i remember helping you pick out the colors
and although you went with purple instead
i think it still looks great

your new friends seem really kind
they don't seem to fail to make you smile
i'm glad to see that you weren't alone this christmas
even though i was

and i'm not sorry
that i had to do what i did
because your life is so much better than
i'm not sorry
but i'm sorry
for me

unopened books
bound, long unopened
yearn for their masters touch
longing for
release.

nimble feet dragging on
marble floors
cold,
closed windows, shut doors
to keep the scent
in.

raised tower walls
long emptied since the
hunt,
the silence is deafening
to keep the memories
here.

murals long dry
remain standing, with
uneasy eyes
watch as she sits unmoving
watch as the girl
stays still.

i tried to fix you, my darling
by pouring my love in to your crevices and cracks
but by the time you recovered and departed
there was no love for me left

i thought i was kissing you goodnight
and if i had known it was goodbye

i would have kissed you a little longer

but she consumes my mind all the time
you can't grow a new heart

but ****,
i wish i could.

"dear cat?" alice called, "where are you"
"i seemed to have lost myself again
and although it is quite lovely here
the quiet and shade,
it has only grown to be empty and dark"

'it's so loud'
she screamed
over the silence
'everything keeps talking
and yelling
at me'

i once told you how
you always looked beautiful when you smiled
a little surprised, with confusion in your eyes

or maybe everything i said just surprised you
or you just smiled anyways
because i wasn't worth understanding

when she talks
she's scattered stars compared to the constellations in your eyes
the veins on her eyelids
like small showers against your thunder storms
her lips like mere daffodils
against your budding rose petals
and my heart twinges every time we kiss
because all im tasting is a small flame
compared to the forest fire i felt with you

and I hate comparing her to you
not saying that she is less of a work of art
she is beautiful canvas but i not her artist
my hands feel no familiarity in her slopes
my chisel can't trace her curves
she is a work of art
but her strokes do not belong to me
than again
i don't think you were ever mine either

i still feel your lips on mine
and although it's been several months
time does not heal everything

i fall asleep with my phone in my hand

the man walks with his lover
and grips her hand
stopping himself,
from rubbing her palm

all through dinner
of candles and praises
he stops himself
from staring at her beauty

and while they make love
with short breaths and sheets
biting his tongue,
from saying "i love you"

the evening has stilled
intertwined legs and holding her close
he lays awake
and wonders where she is

dear jade,

i think i’m going mad again.
it was raining the other night, a frightful storm. in my rush to get home, i thought i saw a shape on the floor and fell. it was only the street light reflecting off a puddle.

do you remember how hard i cried when we were last in school together? i was so much younger and i truly thought that was the deepest pool of my sadness. but i know now it isn’t.


love forever,

joanne

was it her old blind passion
her desire
she couldn't get to him

in another world,
would it have been different

half-closed eyes
and hidden freckles
under smudged concealer

her hair falls long
sunshine
turned to red light
and darkness

it is not Her
let me find peace

The elf fell in love
gave up immortality
but the human lied

she tasted like cotton candy
and had skin pale like snow
she was the reason
i gave up painting
the colours
and the strokes

i still romanticize us
because she was my cup of tea
hot water, warm scent
and if we had seen each other on the subway
i wouldn't have been able to look away
i tried all my life to perfect my canvas
and found that my paint palette
looked much better

how natural this feels
like water flowing against a smooth stone
your voice echoing in to the corners of my lungs
and smell,
weaving between the strands of my hair