You were the first boy to tell me you loved me, over a text. Less than two months later I broke up with you, over a text. But you were sweet, I promise. A week after you told me you loved me you finally kissed me, & it was almost on the top of the ferris wheel but saved by the bell, your phone rang (vibrated) & then you almost got away with just kissing me on the cheek that night. But then you ran after me when I was going to head home & kissed me for the first time in the woods & I'll never forget how weird it feels to have someone's lips pressed against yours for the very first time.

２. It was a month after you asked me to be your girlfriend that we met. & the day we finally did I kissed you & you almost fainted because it was your first. You didn't say much & you wouldn't take your eyes off me, it was nice to be admired like you admired me, but I had to leave, I hope you understood why & that you're happier with her now.

３. On Valentine's Day I gave you your first kiss & probably a heartattack along with it, the way you looked at me then I'll never forget, but it was like kissing my brother.

４. After school one day I couldn't take it anymore & I just kissed you. You jumped back & had yourself a heartattack, something I commonly gave I guess. It was after you that I learned to be more careful, because your words cut like a knife, even after we stayed good friends back then.

５. It was so obvious how you staged that night, with the oblivion & the sunset & the music, but I'll admit, it was a very sweet first kiss & it almost makes me completely forget how terrible it was. But we kissed for almost a year after that until you gave me the last one, & I count that night as the last, not that stupid summer after where you dropped my heart again & used me. I'll never forget how hard it hurt to hear you tell me you loved me for the last time after you told me that I was perfect & kissed me with a pair of lips that sliced mine deep. I spent forever after that picking at my lips trying to remove every painful papercut your last words sealed with a kiss gave me.

６. I remember how drunk I was in love with the idea of us over a year before I got to kiss your lips. But when we kissed I felt nothing but lust, & it felt good then. It was too soon after the pain for me to remember how to kiss again, & you had to teach me, & then you taught me something else.

７. I dreamt about kissing your lips for almost every night of high school. & it was four & a half years later that I got to taste them. We probably could've fallen in love, y'know, but I'm glad we didn't. It was what it was & I'll take the memory with me, but that's all that was meant to happen between us.

８. My favourite number, & by far my favourite kiss. It was a blur the day you kissed my lips, but it was perfect. I guess my eyes were wide open but I can't remember a thing but shaking so bad I almost forgot how to work my lips. You were a brand-brand-new taste & I can only just remember the roller-coaster of thought from that day, freaking out about where it was all going & how to kiss someone new, for real. But I've been kissing you for over a year now, & my God, baby, I can't help but admit I'd sure love to kiss those lips for the rest of my life

Milk chocolate hair with an endless forest in her eyes;
The things that make her beautiful,
Chapped lips & an imperfect crooked-toothed smile,
The things that make her human,
Tear-stained cheeks beneath the dark circles under her eyes,
The things that make her real,
Warm days with blue skies and flying across the world,
The things she dreams about,
Remembering who she is and not knowing where she's going,
The things that make her anxious,
Dark brown eyes & little, soft brown curls,
The thing that makes her happy,
5'11 with a killer gorgeous smile,
The boy who loves all of her.

I don't know when it occurred to me I wanted you forever. But I think about every now & again. How a person could possibly want another person to hold their hand for a lifetime. I mean, ours get sweaty being intertwined for less than an hour. But I don't know, I don't know a lot of things. I don't know how I'm awake at three-in-the-morning only on the nights before I have an early class, or why the sky has that odd pastel glow on the nights when it's snowed, or how to drive, yet but there are some things that I do know. I know what shirt you were wearing on the day we met & that it's somewhere in my hamper right now, I know how to say the alphabet backwards just as fast as forwards & I know that my heart has never been more content in letting someone in than it has with you. I know, my love, that we're young & life's too short to pretend we're not perfect for each other, so I won't let myself picture a life without you in my arms. Terrifying to say, but the truest words I'll ever know, I want to spend my forever with you.

It's back to black, I suppose
Like they say,
Our plans, darling, they've changed
But you're still a character
In my story,
& I never intend to write you out
If it's with you it won't ever be boring,
Because that's what life's going to be
No, not boring, but just you & me,
On a different continent, sure
But with a love so much stronger,
One that is pure,
So I wait for you, darling
I'll wait for you to arrive
Sleepless I am without you, perhaps
Though hopeless, I'm not
The one thing I can count on, my love
Is for you & I to carry on
Wherever we are in this life
It won't matter
Because like they say;
"Home is where the heart is"
& darling, home is wherever I'm with you

Why would I ever dare
To kiss, another pair
Of lips? When it's his
That make me believe
In magic.*

I've reached the point
Where I cannot see one
In ever wasting a moment
Trying to love anyone else
It's here where I belong
With him
With no one else.

I don’t even know
what to say
it’s not like I’m being heard anymore anyway,
when I say; I’m going away,
to Denmark
somehow suddenly, people listen
though once I’m back
they’ve forgotten I was ever gone
I can’t wait to go back & start over
*I can’t wait to forget being forgotten

I hardly remember
a ******* thing
about that day
before gazing into his eyes
once again, for the first time

rushing toward the exit
running from the baggage claim;
it was all a blur,
as walked through those doors
all I remember was the vastness
of the first sight,
stepping into the bright, unfamiliar place
& nothing else, but him

I scanned the crowd
the strange faces waiting
for loved ones
emotion thick enough to touch
in the air,
but just to my right
in the front
with his body pressed up against the metal bar,
I saw him

it was the first time I saw his face
not through a photo or webcam
in a time that was so long it ached
I think I lost my breath
did I leave my things behind when I ran?
I don't remember,
I just ran to him

it was too surreal
I can't remember a moment between
seeing his face, & kissing his lips
nor what kind of kiss it was
or how long it lasted
I just couldn't fathom it
I was really there
it was really him
& it didn't matter where we were
it was all a wonderland
to me, I was holding his hand again
everything was bright & new
it was magic, pure magic