okay but how weird are dreams
you close your eyes to rest your body but behind your lids the film unfolds
your mind paints a picture
the beach is soft as the sun sets next to your lover
all your teeth fall out
you make the game winning play for a sport you don't even play
you go to school naked
you make unusual friends that had only passed briefly through your mind
feet slip from the cliff and you wake up with a sudden ****
suddenly the thoughts that had been so vivid only moments ago fade into nothing
your subconscious is trying to tell you something but what could it be?
maybe it's revelation
maybe it's magic
maybe it's nothing at all
but dreams are pretty weird

you are my favorite sky

you blend my life into a beautiful mixture of reds and purples and pinks as the sun sets
you take the streaks of indigo and violet so separated by me and blend them into the magnificent night sky
you paint the mountains and hills in deep greens and browns
you add the brightness of the sun in ways I could never imagine

it's glorious rays fall upon me when suddenly you stop
you cannot mix together the black and white of my thoughts
you are grey and I am no longer your canvas
you turn away frustrated

the sunshine leaves with you

you make me frustrated in the strangest ways, but I guess that's love? I wouldn't call it that but it's starting to creep down that steep *****. I really wish you'd actually talk to me but you're always holding back. I can't tell if it's from fear of what could be or what is. you make me self conscious and self confident. see how you conflict me? I question nearly everything I do, especially when I'm with you. I control my laughter and bite my tongue, or I guffaw with audacity and speak my mind. I'm caught between two of my selves because I'm caught between which one you like more. both are me, yet neither really seem to be. I'm quite tired of the charade but I will not be the one to quit now. I'll ride it out and regret it years from now.

I may fall in love one day but their heart beart won't pound out my name
electricity will not flow through my veins with their touch
my fingers will never crackle as I reach out for more
my bones will not ache with their absence
my lips will never endlessly crave for theirs against mine
I may fall in love one day but it will not be ardently enveloping

I am deflated
like a balloon left in the corner for a few days
wrinkly and sad but still there
slightly full but not worth keeping

I am deflated
like an inner tube of a bike tire
rolled out of a garage after the winter
a hindrance on the path to felicity

I am deflated
like an air mattress
handled carelessly a few too many times
still useful but not overly enjoyed

I am deflated
because I am too exhausted to inflate myself
*again