i have resolved to let these moments stab me, teach me, by reaching my core and harming me. it will carve me into something daring and emboldened; perhaps i will be smelted, reforged-- still stronger all the same, especially without you.
you make me frustrated in the strangest ways, but I guess that's love? I wouldn't call it that but it's starting to creep down that steep *****. I really wish you'd actually talk to me but you're always holding back. I can't tell if it's from fear of what could be or what is. you make me self conscious and self confident. see how you conflict me? I question nearly everything I do, especially when I'm with you. I control my laughter and bite my tongue, or I guffaw with audacity and speak my mind. I'm caught between two of my selves because I'm caught between which one you like more. both are me, yet neither really seem to be. I'm quite tired of the charade but I will not be the one to quit now. I'll ride it out and regret it years from now.