I still can't bring myself to open the gate. my own secret garden, hidden from the world. with more than one gardener the weeding would be easier, but a good gardener is hard to come by. so I keep my gate closed with a sign saying no trespassing. no one dares move that creaky gate. little do outsiders know how deeply the flowers yearn for someone else's fingers to stroke them. no one will hear the cries let out by the forget-me-nots as they are easily forgotten. no one will know the beauty behind the walls of my garden.

She was wild like skinny dipping at midnight, stars watching overhead and falling in love with moonlight. The way it lay upon her skin made the ocean envious of her depths within and sometimes between us. She was my sister, not in blood but in orbit. A Venus to my Earth, forged from the same collapsing star and if the universe was in fact to be infinite then this moment would happen again, and again, and again an immeasurable number of times. I found comfort in this thought, knowing though our existence was meaningless, it was still full of feeling, and this feeling, right now, it insisted on existing forever.

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO MEET YOUR GAZE WHEN IT MAKES ME SO VULNERABLE? DO YOU KNOW HOW INTIMATE YOUR EYES FEEL EVEN FROM ACROSS THE ROOM? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I'VE AVOIDED YOUR GLANCE IN FEAR OF THEIR INTRUSIVE WALTZ IN MY THOUGHTS? DO YOU KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS WITHOUT TRULY KNOWING THEM?
DO YOU KNOW
DO YOU KNOW
DO YOU KNOW
you must know
you must know the ache in my skin that your stare leaves
you must know

tired of looking at you
and feeling my heart leave my chest as it grew

tired of looking at you
and wondering if you look at me too

tired of looking at you
and seeing a future that will never be true

tired of looking at you
and not being able to power through

tired of looking at you
and feeling myself unglue

tired of looking at you
because i never get
tired of looking at you