Subtle steps towards the depth,
The darkness lies in wait,
It lures you with shiny things,
And tortures you like bait

Your fears it will feed upon
It likes you sick and frail,
You wonder when you got so small
Your skin now stretched and pale

But daylight it shall come again
Just like the times before,
Hold tight onto catastrophe
And try to brave the war

I am no hero,
Myself I won't save
In dawn's early hours
I arrive at my grave

Waiting he sits there
He knew I would come
He offers me flowers
And yet I don't run

My coffin it beckons
Who am I to resist
I am a shadow at best
Who barely exists

Today, my neighbors house alarm went off
The defending sound, shattering the silence, a warning
Which revealed the reality
That crime would always be near us and in our proximity
I think it stuck with me more than it did the others
Because as the noise stopped, I'm sure they went back to their bubble
But I stood, thinking about the fluorescent light
A silent sign, that somewhere along the line something wasn't right
Alerting me of the false sense of security, I had all along
It blinked, I thought I was safe, it told me I was wrong
A morse code, telling me that I took it for granted
But the illusion of safety had just been disenchanted
So I began wondering
What other warning lights had I been avoiding
I peered out the window again
And the warning light continued
Begging to be noticed, but I could barely see it
My bubble made it blurry, I felt at home with my ignorance

How about I give up,
Here, have my hands to bind
I guess you've had enough,
Of me wasting 'precious time'
So I lower my defenses, let you in
I will stand in surrender and let you win

But my pride is not sacrificed,
I do not bow to your command,
You are nothing but a coward
I know you get out of hand

So my retaliation will simmer,
One day I'll get you back,
For your 'love' is now nothing but
But a malicious attack

I try to imagine myself as warrior, as fierce, wild and free
Yet some days the tremors grip me and I am left sailing an open ocean while lying under covers
Salty waves harass my body, my open wounds hiss
Yet it is my teardrops that may drown me

Beautiful words and sickly sweet lies
You’re falling through darkness, he’s changing your mind
You’re filled with temptation and with nothing else left
He’s requesting your soul and your very last breath
Though unwise to make deals with the devilish kind
You hand in your contract, read over and signed
In return for this contract he has given you this
Some talent, some sin and a wonderful twist
Of fortune and fame, but know the devil is just
A mastery of trickery and he’ll show you just such
Good luck with your days, though now there a few
You should have known better, he’s now coming for you

GO AHEAD
I say, with light gleaming mischievously in my eyes
Try to change me
Me the girl far too messy
and not quite together
Me the girl too energetic and insistent
Me the girl who doesn't really fit in...
but doesn't really want to
Me the girl who is genuine on the inside
and refuses to become society's fake idea of beauty
Me the girl who laughs...
maybe a bit too much...
in times where silence is needed
ME    THE     GIRL
So go ahead, just you try and change me

Lover this moonlight cascading over your skin, highlights crevices and curves, stirring hunger deep within me,
I have starved for this touch, spent nights empty yet in hope of stumbling upon a love like this to fill the void

Healing, so complicated and never final
I dance freely in the wind, forgetting
When suddenly that painful scar rips open
I am ****** into past regrets and old wounds
Remembering you...
Reunited with square one

I strayed into the darkness, because it whispered sweet promises to me
Footstep after footstep, I was enveloped by sticky black sludge
It seeped into my skin, making me content with my unhealthy companion

Then you came into my life, making the slimy darkness retreat
I smiled for what felt like the first time and I wondered why I strayed from the sunshine
Now you hold me with tenderness and I soak in the warmth you provide me with

You held a lantern to my heart and now each beat within my chest sings of gratitude
I am dazzled by you
And the love light you shine upon me

If I was granted the chance,
to have you once again,
If fate decided differently,
And your life didnt end...

I would hold you within a warm embrace,
Because grief replaced you too quickly.
And the words 'she's in a better place' have sounded far too sickly,
Let me look within your eyes, try to fiercy remember each detail,
I'm filled with fear that when I think of you, my memory could fail.

Give me the opportunity to fulfill the promises I pushed to 'another day'
I wish I realized time is not loyal, there are still words left to say
I love you, today and forever, I would say it much more often,
I should of told you, you mean everything to me and that you will never be forgotten
And if that chance didnt come, I would settle for a poem
Because I'd fall apart without you and forever stay broken

A penny for your thoughts
A nickle for your time
Would you smile for a dime
I want all of you

Everyone has secrets,
Me... well I will push myself to breaking point
Until I am sure I have done everything to make my mother proud of me
And then I will break
Enough to make shiny knifes look perfect against my skin

Love is....
Another person joining your path and saying "trust me with your heart, I shall be by your side to share the burden"
It is not having to do it alone, suddenly the world loses it's terrifying edge, instead becoming strikingly beautiful

My life became a whirlwind of what ifs
And after a tornado of destruction and desolation
I am left with the question, what now?

He stays near, watching me panic
I cannot pull my threads together
And so I unravel faster than a ball of yarn versus a kitten
My heart providing the thundering beat to this episode
Where panic grips my throat until my saliva chokes me
I sweat profusely, batting the demons he cannot see

Thank you,
For adding me, your daughter as another chapter of your life
Thank you for helping me write my own story into something I am proud of,
Thank you for editing my mistakes, making sure they did not weigh too heavily on me
Thank you for underlining lessons that taught values and morals to guide me
Thank you for giving me courage to turn another page, when I got too comfortable within myself
Thank you for allowing me to add pages to your story, adding chapters of worry for what I will turn out to be, worry where I was, worry my story would end quickly.
And I am sorry that I could not warn you how quickly your story would end, they said 70% chance of recovering again, from cancer, I said dont put down your pen yet, I will guide you and from these many months together our stories have become intertwined.
So as your end approaches I write this for you, write a thank you, the last bit of story I can for you, before I am left writing two words I was never meant to, not now, not so quickly, but darling mum, I hope for another story for you, that through the end of this one, somewhere else another story of yours will begin.

I DO NOT HAVE WRITERS BLOCK,
I have a pain that rips through each pore of my trembling body, so incredulously devistating my cries sound more like the wretched howl of an injured animal than anything resembling a human being.
I DO NOT HAVE WRITERS BLOCK
I have words that are unable to hold the weight of my emotion, so this undeniable agony comes out sounding as easy as a Sunday sleep in.

My heart is breaking with the pressure
This tragedy might just be the end of me
It is pitch black within this tunnel
The unlined clouds hold only rain
So now all I can ask is your forgiveness
If I succumb to the pain

I gaze at the swift sparrow,
As it attacks each task with such speed,
And yet remains graceful
It curls within the air,
Its sweet melody caressing my heart
Only stopping, very briefly
Maybe it knows a secret,
The art, of keeping on

Your anger flares quick and biting,
Igniting a liquid hate, that races throughout your body
Absorbed instantly, it is poison turning simple love into ammunition
I am standing confused
Love is distant, your hands shake, voice booms, body vibrates
With heart pumping anger, you equip yourself with a sickening distaste of me,
I brace, hesitantly but expectantly,
You are ready for something I did not intend,
My tears make you bubble with malicious laughter,
This is quickly turning into an escalating disaster,
I am standing in front of a liability
You spit out a minefield of words, aimed to weaken and destroy me
I open upset lips to dish out my fury but nothing comes
Your anger parades around me, you're proud of your victory
I am empty in this fight, all I have is love

Stumbling and lost, I guess I'm paying the cost
Of being alive, but shall I survive
This searing pain, always comes back again
I feel like I'm fading, into the grey

Because he granted me wings, a priceless heavenly gift...

His emotional signature, lives within each feather, as an effervescent spark everlasting.

His exuberant energy, my wild companion, as I soar to sun and sky, stretching my imagination.

you tried to stay lost,
but i tried to find you
you tried to run fast,
and i couldn't blame you.
you said its tiring,
when i continue to chase you,
why is my love useless
while yours is a 'virtue'.

His presence quiets the voices within my head
The voices that point out how many people could be looking at me
How they could be analyzing me, tearing me apart for all to see
Their sound of laughter is their way of mocking me
These voices echo within my body, their honestly killing me,
Their brutality making self-consciousness a constant enemy
With no pity, they attack and aim to **** all ease
But with him, it is different, the voices take a break
From their daily schedule of mocking and ridicule
His voice fills my head, a soothing alibi to fight with me
But I know without him square one is a certainty, no improvement
I will be a stranded soldier, fighting an army,
Of voices with no weapons, but words that bring me to my knees
So for now, with no unease, I will enjoy the quiet and hope he stays with me

Help, she sobs to the dust filled air
And even though there's no one there
She feels like someone's watching

Her internal screams are never heard
So she splutters out the desperate words
Please can you help, I just need something

But no lifeline is given and no advice shared
She's left on her own again, frightened and scared
She just needed someone, to help ease the pain
But now she's left, to fight alone, for yet another day

Early morning sun pearing from tired clouds
Bitter coffee, snearing faces
Dreary people, tired and slouching
A life once bursting with promise, now filled with nothing

Life is hard
You're allowed to make mistakes
Youre allowed to have days where you don't want to get out of bed
Youre allowed to feel sad
Don't be so ******* yourself <3

im sorry i get angry at you
when you cant give me what poetry can
poetry holds me late at night
whispering sweet words of loving
poetry listens and reflects all of me
poetry knows me a little to well
and cries with me when my hearts breaking
poetry is all of what i want it to be
im sorry i hate you when you can be what poetry is to me

Allergies? The doctor questions
I can’t help but laugh bitterly and whisper your name under my breath

These blankets protect me, the darkness my companion
Here I can avoid all my responsibilities and be bitterly angry that I won't try to function
I can wrap my self loathing around my throat and scream silently for help
Then be upset when no one tries to save me

I tried to give you warmth, to ease your darkened soul, 
your vicious thoughts prevailed, and I could not persuade 
I tried to ease your pain, but you had given up,                                          
all that remained was searing anger cast forth to destroy all love.    
I saw you standing on the edge,
ready to forget,  
willing to move on,
you took that one last step,   
creating crevices between us while I just held my breath,        
'please come back to me my love, this is not over yet'
but you were far too gone, a distant memory   
remember you chose to stay behind
I tried to take you with me.

He said "youre with me"
And in that moment I felt at home in this word which makes outsiders of us all

I love you
You make these words weigh more than what society wants them to
You make those three words feel heavy and precious and now when i say them, they are not to fill a silence but a raw declaration

Tired heart weakly pumps
This desperate blood around my body
And my brain cries, please no more
There has been too much trauma here
It is now easier to let go.... than attempt to save this

Your eyes are like galaxies
And I've always been one to gaze far too long at the stars

You make me smile like sunshine lives within me,
When for so long the world tried to tell me, I had nothing but darkness to offer

Sometimes when you look at me,
The love in your eyes makes me feel just short of good enough,
Like I cheated somehow
You appear as a miracle in front of me,
I feel like a child playing dress up,

You whisper sweetness into my body,
I am convinced you have confused me for someone else
I feel not worthy, like I hold a secret deep within me and one day my flaws will hit you like a wrecking ball
And in that moment of realization, you will see who I truly am…. and walk away

I have this looming feeling the world will end... after my next breath, next step, next failure
So I constantly expect this implosion, my awaiting doom, this cosmic disaster  
I sense the negativity, look at each strangers pale miserable face and I breathe....
Waiting for the world to end

Poetry is complicated
Whether it be your teardrops onto the ink of painful truths
The deafening anger, when you have such strong emotion inside of you, words scramble out of your way
The heartfelt syllables read by someone who cant appreciate, your soul on a page
Or the crossing out of words, because they never say what you plead them to

Yet we write anyway

Because sometimes there is a moment,

Everything you've been trying to say, flows from your hand and suddenly, it falls into place, in front of you a piece of literature that encapsulates what was held in your heart and head for too long

On days like this... I want to submit and take the prescribed pills,
To resurface from my own created ocean of pessimism
To have the sunlight feel like a blessing instead of a curse

I want to feel like the one who can,
Or perhaps I just want an answer to the question
"Whats wrong?"

Hello my darling, how have you arrived, cast from the fire or fleeing from light
Devilish sin and goodness you shield inside
Inspires curiosity within me, of the secrets you hide

Every second spent with you is absolute bliss
You give me wondrous memories that I often reminisce
I shall always love you truly, for true love will always be
You are my soulmate, my everything, you are the one for me

It's child's play they say, to dance upon the day
Golden sunlight enveloping their happiness, which seems to come from deep within
Their laughter echoes in the breeze, but it's not as easy as it seems
To live for each flourished moment

I would give up my future, for one more minute with you

I would reach inside myself and tear my necrotic heart from its self pitying home,
I would throw the last fragments of my confidence into the breeze,
I would finally succumb to the darkness that whispers to me

Because I miss you so much, that the option of survival makes me sick

You simply sit there
A miraculous marvel to my eyes
Every movement fascinates me
And i watch hungrily
Never able to get enough of you
Yet always aching to

I am stuck in a tantalizing perception
That perhaps I could have your entirety
And yet you slip through my fingers like sand
And so I stare, wishing for time to slow
Just enough…
So I can momentarily have a proper dose

You looked at my cuts in disgust, thinking they show physical evidence of weakness
But don't you see, to me they are the beautiful evidence of how much I can destroy myself

Sweet angel of mine,
With your love divine
Please won't you just hold me
Until the end of time

Gettin up and hating every ray of sunlight streaming through your window because it means you have to get up and fight through another day