The hardest part of smiling
Is knowing it won't last

The white linoleum,
Floods this endless maze,
Similar souls in different bodies,
I am simply passing through,
Another cog in the machine,
Eyes pointed up at ceiling,
Watching boxes of light fly by
as if they were windows of sun,
Unfamiliar voices pump positivity,
Promises of my well being,
My head rolls right,
Sight fixed on the dark haired nurse,
Her smile stretches wide,
Unsure where to place it,
She reaches for my arm,
A chill enters my veins,
My body turns to gold,
I drift away,
The sun spotted ceiling fades to black,
You forget how much you love it,
Maybe the pain was worth it,
Anything for her sweet taste again

He ****** up.
He knows this.
There was no amount of pain she could have caused him
to make what he did alright.
The more time he spends remembering,
the more he wishes he could forget.
He could never tell her how far it went.
Some might think she deserves to hear it-
but he knows she values her ears,
and she'd probably never believe him anyway.
So he thinks she deserves to be spared.
He still thinks about her,
on colder nights likes these.
Wondering what it would have been like to spend it
with a bit more ease.
If he never left her,
if he never did what he pleased.
It might have been boring,
but at least there was peace.
It might have been unfulfilling,
but at least there was nothing to prove.
It was easy love- what they had.
She put up with his tantrums,
cradled him like babe.
He wanted more,
and he didn't like her lies.
So he made up his own.
He knows he never could go back.
But he still thinks of her,
on colder nights like these.
He sees her name come up-
and wonder if she could still make him smile,
when his heart hurt. Like she used to.
She probably would.
But she deserves far better than him.
And he deserves to learn.

For the first time in his life,
he was speechless
not a word to say
A thought unformed,
a bell not rang
silently staring,
mouth agape
at the woman who made him think
in different ways

For the first time in her life,
she was speechless
to the woman who told her
she was beautiful
in so many different ways
she was speechless to the friends she had made
unable to formulate words,
chatterbox broken,
a record skipping

Like any other time in his life,
he was speechless,
not a word to say,
unforced words to people he'd never known
to people who don't care
until he's online,
with his fair share.

Like any other time in her life,
she was speechless,
but no,
not on paper,
her words flowed like a rushing river
but only on paper
to be unseen but to her.