We write poems and songs
Of romance when our hearts beat
Faster and f a s t e r

It's beautiful
It's romantic
It's poetic

Unless the fast pace
Doesn't stop
Hours and hours
Pass me by
It gets faster

There's no calm in sight
My chest is clenching
Not for love
Not for beauty
Only cruelty

Days and days pass
It still last
Fasterfaster
Beatbeatbeatbeat

I can't win in this life
No matter the precaution
I keep falling
Into new depths
And deeper crypts

Of terror

Take a deep breath
they say it'll help
but I don't know how

Even if I did
how could I breathe
when I'm drowning
under the waves

One tear drop from the eye.
She was suddenly terrified.
Staring at the darkness around
Something pinched hard in the heart
Sudden pain and sadness swept all inside
Feeling of emptiness and loneliness was not left behind.

Shivering and suffocating, not able to calm her breathing.
Looking for reasons and solutions
Why this is happening?
With so many questions in the head  and no answers to any of them,
She couldn't stop the tears from falling.
Couldn't stop the mind from over thinking.

Hugging herself tight, lying on the floor at mid night
Just waiting for the time when this will be gone
Trying to take some deep breaths,  
Hearing her own heart beat so fast
Scared and alone,  she picked up her phone
Thinking of anyone who can help.  
Scrolled through the entire contacts with shivering hands,

She reached the end.

Sometimes I have to wonder
Who would I have been
Had lonely days of torture
Not left white marks on my skin

Was I always doomed to be
A broken girl with a broken heart
Or did somewhere along the way
I make a choice to fall apart

Would I have been happy
And would I have been whole
Would I have not lost
All the things this struggle stole

Would I have known sorrow
Would I have known pain
Would my heart have worn
This repulsive ****** stain

I would’ve held together
I wouldn’t have fallen apart
And maybe there’d be a delicate
Sort of beauty to my heart

But the person I would have been
Would’ve been far too weak
Not able to live through the struggle
Unable to find words to speak

Kept quiet by her life’s perfection
Silenced by her world’s clear skies
Pacified with fluffy clouds
Never to hear her own heart’s cries

Now I’ll be hurt, and I’ll be broken
But I’ll wear my scars like jewels
And today I know what they
Can’t seem to teach in schools

I know just how to come alive
I know how to live through this rain
And isn’t it dangerous that
I know how to live with pain

I won’t be silenced anymore
Because my fluffy clouds turned black
I lost the battle to win the war
And I’m done looking back

I’m not who I could have been
And when I start to wonder,
I remind myself, only under dark clouds
Are there roars of thunder