I thought you were my angel sent from above
to make this misery end,
and to be the bright light that shines upon my darkness.
But even lucifer was an angel too.

they asked us what is our relationship,
you answered "nothing"

You make me happy
And you make me sad
Because you're too good to be true
But you are anyway
I don't know how you do it
You're perfect for me
And it is not infatuation
Because I see your flaws
But I like(love) you anyway
You're unattainable
It's like reaching for the stars
Because how can someone like you
Fall in love with someone like me
You're the kind of person
Who I don't want to lose
So maybe just friends
Is easier than lovers
And that's why you make me sad
Because all I can ever be to you
Is friends
Even if I want something more
But that is all I deserve

I was seven
When a guy from my grade pushed me
And I fell ******* the ground
But my teacher simply asked
"What did you do to provoke him?"
Instead of confronting him

I was twelve
When I saw a dress I really liked
But all my mom said
"the length is too short,  you can't wear it outside, you'll get ****"
Even though it was barely above my knees

When I started to high school
My parents kept telling me
"Don't befriend guys ok? they're not good"

We act as if humans are driven purely by desire
And no control
We're taught that men are predators
And we must be careful not to "provoke" them

"She was asking for it, wearing such a revealing clothes"
"She shouldn't go there at night, she was definitely asking for it."
Asking for it
Deserved it
As if women walk around the streets
Secretly wanting to be abused

I never asked for it
Nor was it my fault
I didn't choose to be born as a female
Or to be looked upon as a prey
I never wanted to be seen as
A meal for the people
Who are "sexually driven"

I never asked for any of this
Yet somehow they find ways
To shove that into my head
That I did deserve this
Just because I'm a girl

I can't wear certain outfits
Without feeling as if maybe
I do deserve to be treated like this
And to feel so unclean

"It could've been worse"
"You'll get over it"
As if those words can make it better
Or acceptable that it happened

This is our society,
Where we teach our daughters
To cower and give in
And never fight back
"Be the good girl"
Instead of teaching our sons
How to be a better man
And respect women

*** isn't right
And that we all should feel ashamed of ourselves
For women to want it, and say it publicly
We'll be called a **** or *****
But it's acceptable for men
To say such things
And still be respected

Why is it the worst thing you can say
And the most used comeback to guys is
"Don't be such a girl"

Being a girl is something you should feel bad
As if we had a choice of our own gender
Treated like we wanted any of this

Ladies and gentlemen(hopefully you still exist),
This is our society
Is this really the place you want
Your daughter to grow up in?

I love(d) everything about you
every fibre, every detail

I love(d) watching you
whenever you weren't looking
your serious face, or when you
walk ahead of me
the way you walk
and the way you move your shoulders

I love(d) the veins on your hands
as if they're a road map
do they lead to your heart?

I love(d) the way you smile
and your face
too close to mine
and I would say "stop"
but I love(d) staring at those
brown eyes of yours

I love(d) the talks that we have
late at night
when we are both vulnerable
and you'd tell me things
you've never told anyone
and so will I
together, we'll share,
this secret

And from time to time
I'd sneak a look
and your eyes would meet mine
then i'd pretend it was merely a coincidence
silently happy, that you were looking too

I love(d) when I would act silly
and then you would join me
we'd act silly together, and they would wonder
why those 2 kids aren't normal
but we both know
that being normal is boring

and I am sorry
that my walls, which i built
are too high, too thick
and I wanted to let you in
so I'd try
and try
and try
and kick at them

but they're too high, and too thick
for your patience
were wearing thin

I despised myself
for building such walls

and whenever I am near to giving up
I would remember those times
we spent together

so I'd kick at those walls,
even when you're simply just
touching it,
not trying to break it anymore

those happy memories
ah, good times
good times

but then I'd hear my alarm
at 6 in the morning
knowing it was just a dream

and my walls are finally breaking

but something else broke together with it
realizing that dreams, will only be dreams

I fell into the pit
Of sadness and doubt
All because of this thing
Called society

I tore out myself
And shredded the things
That used to define me
All because they told me I can't
Be who I wanted to be

But society doesn't change
They judge you for who you are
And who you aren't
It's a prison
And we cannot escape it

I told you I'm sad
Thinking you'd understand
But instead you said
get over it
But the walls are too high
Because it was built
From years of hatred
And doubt
So tell me how
Can I get over it?

we were all kids once
with small hands and big eyes
so full of love and innocence
and I'd be lying if i tell my younger self
to make sure she keeps her innocence
because this harsh world
will **** the life out of you
which is ironic because this is life
but if I were to say a message to my younger self
it would be to keep your heart full
full of love
full of care
and full of happiness
because this world may be harsh
but do not let it diminish the light in your eyes
or **** the curiosity
and maybe that adventurous streak you always have
they will surely call you foolish thinking that
you can keep all these things,
but look around you
you see dead people roaming around
with no fire in their hearts because they drowned
in this sea of madness
do not go with the flow but rather stay on top
and build a boat and sail where you want
don't let the coldness of others
affect you,
but rather let your warmness
affect them
this world is harsh
but that doesn't mean you have to be that way too

i always feel helpless
even when i'm around you
because stars that seem to be
just right beside one  another
are actually separated
by a great,
great

d i s t a n c e

He tells you
You're the brightest star
But never trust a man
Who carries stars in his pockets
Because he can easily replace you
Without a single thought
The moment you lose your shine

I sniffed the sweater I took from you,
and I realized that your smell is gone
and so is the comfort of your smell that goes with it,

and I'm scared I might be losing you too.

2:30 AM
How are you?
I miss you
I hope you're doing fine
I'm a lost cause without you
Darling, don't leave
I'm sorry
One more chance?
I love you

*deletes

beware of her
she can make you feel
and make that ice heart of yours
beat

to her rhymes you will be moved
her words will make you cry
it will make you feel
the pain she felt,
or the love she wanted the world to know

beware of her,
because if you love this deadly poet
she will carry you far and wide
across continents,
and seas

she will sway you away in reality
and bring you to her world

she will let you feel the love she feels for you
and you will drown in it
you will realize that her heart only beats at the sound of your name

you will be hypnotized,
you are now under her spell

but you have to realize
that this deadly poet
is sad inside

no, she cannot tell you exactly why
but let her poem speak to you,
do not force her,
but rather understand her

and if you commit half-heartedly
then leave her,
she doesn't need you

no, she needs a person,
who will be strong for her

someone who will watch her intentsely
the way she does to you
and you need to admire her imperfections
as if she couldn't be more perfect than she already is

leave, if you can't understand this world she lives in
where both reality and fantasy resides

because if you never see the sun when you look into her eyes
while she sees the whole universe within you
then don't fall in love with her
because surely she already loves you
the moment she wrote your name
on a piece of paper accompanied by a rhyme

he was a demon,
considered himself monstrous
of course he is,
even the flowers wilt
when he touches them

he was afraid to touch
the person he loves the most
always kept her apart
even if he wanted to held her

she reminds him of a flower,
so fleeting,
fragile,
wouldn't she crumble
if he touches her?

A mother would cradle a shoe
it is not a pair for it was lost,
and still damp even after a year.
Every night she takes it out of her special box,
a picture of a girl with a bright smile was inside,
including cards she gave her, with poems within them.
She hugs the shoe as if it's her own child,
remembering how she bought it for her as a christmas gift last year,
too bad it is not a pair anymore.
The mother can still hear the splash of water as it hits the rocks,
carrying this pair of shoe.
She lulls the shoe as if it's the most important thing in the world,
only because her real treasure is long lost gone.

The other pair is still lost and buried underneath the pebbles and dirt
of the raging river,
and this is the only way it gets to be with its owner.

everything is the past,
the time i wrote the first line is already a history.
the moment i blinked after this word is already gone,
they are all in the past.

the world you know changes constantly,

blink

blink

blink

the world you knew already changed once you finish reading this line
and life works that way.

so I don't see why you stress over something that happened an hour ago, or maybe a week ago, sometimes even 2 years ago.
they are already in the past,
simply a memory engraved in our minds,
haunting us from the future.

and then we have tomorrow
or maybe the next hour,
a history that hasn't been written,
shouldn't you worry about that?

as the leaves fall,
we fall apart from your absence.

He stands at your bedroom door while you're at the edge of your bed, staring at him. There are wilted white lilies on top of your bedside drawer. He sits at your bed, not too close to you, but close enough you can feel the heat radiate from his skin. You feel like this distance is too far, you want his skin to clash against yours, his lips at the nape of your neck. The street lights pour from your window, his face illuminated with it. His face looks so innocent, yet deadly because of the light. Red for passion? no. Red for blood. Red for deadly. This is not love. This is destruction and pain. He reaches out for you, and you moved too eagerly. He holds you without care, his nails scratches your back, too deep. You're in too deep. Red for stop. His lips crushes against yours, and he tears off your dress, and he kisses your neck, and you realized that he has your heart in his hands.  You didn't pay attention to details. Red for deadly. You're going crazy and wild, you are empty handed. You finally realized that his ribs are intact while yours is wide open. Red for too late. There's a broken vase with wilted white lilies on the floor, and his lips ******.