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Is it truly vanity
to not settle for the mundane?
I want to drink the champagne stars
hold the Moon in my arms,
kiss the Sun in all his glory
have the Night fall in love with me.
You call me insane
for not wanting to be contained,
for wanting to swim in the sea
of the universe
for wanting to speak
the language of the cosmos.
Why should I have to explain
the need to slide down a rainbow,
for wanting to swallow planets whole
and become celestial,
that yearning to immerse myself
in all that is strange and wonderful.
Inspired by "Drops of Jupiter."

this poem and more can be found on my Instagram @_ghivashel_
I have mastered the art
of making myself small;
the years have taught me
how to fold myself
step by step,
edge to edge
into pinwheels and paper lilies
mindlessly left in infinitesimal space —
an instinct —
a secret slipping into the unconscious,
left beneath the mattress,
left behind the doors.

The years — they've taught me
how to take my heart out —
take it apart and fold it
into a thousand paper cranes —

all cooped up in my ribs.

Their wings, decaying
with all the wishes
I never allowed myself to make.

Their beaks, pecking on the flowers,
on the wheels,
on my skin:
an obsession, a compulsion,
a ritual for symmetry,

a constant flipping,
a ceaseless folding,

until i am small enough —
insignificant enough to attract no attention,
to remain unseen, unheard,
unnoticed in the room.

And here, in this infinitesimal space
I have mastered the art
of making myself small.
here lies asteria.
and her falling stars —
they crash faster than they rise
here inside this starless chest —
a foreign place,
a refugee camp —
all leaden lungs and a leaden sky.

here she sleeps
under a blanket of nightfall one might mistake for the golden fleece,
but then again,
alchemy is a long, forgotten lover
all bag of tricks,
and sleight of hand,
all doves and swords
and a fickle heart.

so what of her?
what of a lonely girl?
what of her history and all her scattered bones?

what of a fallen Titaness?
what of this diaspora of all her dying stars?
what of this sepulcher for all her nameless stars?

here lies asteria
with her unbaptized stars —
here, where the dark side of the moon
goes home.
here, where wisterias and howling wolves
and stifled screams
go to die.

here inside this starless chest,
these pallid lips,
this leaden skin of mine.

here lies asteria. here lies her host.
and this is how a black hole sighs.
Pixels streaming like shooting stars
Artificial openings that are so disingenuous when I’ve seen the way your smile makes all light bulbs burst in jealousy from the light you radiate
“Just be yourself.”
The most honest advice to give.
No malice.
The hardest advice to take.
“Do they even know me?”
The calm sometimes doesn’t come after the storm.
Sometimes it sits and waits.
Slowly curling around toes
Casually slithering up to your belly
Nausea
Prancing up to your heart
Anxiety
Pridefully slinking to your throat
Tongue-tied as it swells like an angry ocean
And finally making rest in your cerebellum
I asked
Where it spreads out, limbs long, and smirking
This poison you willingly drink that is masked by sugar and ego
Let the glass engorged with the evil elixir that alerts you of your short comings shatter on the tile floor
Remove the blinking screen from your face that is slowly becoming a Shakespearean tragedy
Disconnect
Connect to eye contact that isn’t shielded by WiFi
Tiny shops hunch in a row
On brick and clapboard feet
A huddle of windows filled
        with come-on-in
The sun slides behind their flat tops
As I wait for you on the bridge --

Clouds push and shove each other
Across a dusky sky:
                I watch you cross the street
A thief bearing a single plucked flower
Your pockets crammed with promises
        that won't be kept
But I don't care
My pulse is launching rockets --

The river beneath flows
        in irrefutable rhyme
Smells of moss and deadwood
        fill the air
Brown geese out for a swim
        are making social calls
As you take my hand
                Small
        Into yours
And I know
When I look into your eyes
I must never kiss you
As twilight tucks us in
        And brushes back our hair --
Ode to a first date
Standing at the launching
of rabid filibustering grenades,
soaring high,
bursting brilliant,
reeking havoc
--chaos like inner city canyons imploding
in on themselves;
--then again--
news breaks of blood
on a naked white girl, and
the memory of them fades...
When I was younger
I thought that tree stumps
were fairy dining tables
I dreamt about inviting
guests to lavish parties
So I ate jam tarts
every time the sun set
And drank ten bottles
of Kool Aid for a bet
I didn’t regret a single sip
but I think the adult inside me
wished I did
Pressing on regardless
into an infinite described
by fluttering eyelids
like moth wings in moonlight
The shutters flapped open,
close, open, close
And the spirit felt known
Part of a collaborative project at a local writing retreat. Its not all mine.can you guess which parts are?
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