i fear the inevitable
my solid form becoming cold and into a vegetable
when my skin runs dry
and alone in the ground, i lie.
i tend to overly celebrate people's coming of age
building up excitement for their growing of change
you see,
you never really know how many birthdays you have left
how soon is it,
before i become the devil's dinner and he becomes my chef?
my chef, my chef
left to pick apart my remaining remnants
and half-hearted sentiments
i threw away,
so long ago.
Cudi told me,
"the moon will illuminate my room
and soon i'll be consumed by my doom"
but he never told me darkness is eternal
it lays on your grave like a stone in quicksand
nowhere but only deep in the ground to land
death is a coma caffeine cannot save
not red bull, not 5 hour energy, of life you are depraved
i've never been to a funeral
will mine be my first?
happiness is an eternal curse
spent my whole life looking for it,
but in death, i am left with the worst
no memory, no recollection, no changing of sorts
to be happy or sad, death is an immovable course
you can shift and swerve
but years of eternal oblivion you serve
see, i hate talking about this, but i cannot escape it
i heard her say a friend from high school took their life
and now i'm sweating, i'm pacing,
how will i take mine?
will i hang on a rope? will i die by my knife?
will i swallow this pill underneath my tongue,
or will a gunshot be the song that is sung?
I fear,
I will see death by twenty-five.
24 hours in a day and you will be one too late.
No life to revive,
Nor torture to survive.
I will rest away peacefully,
Left to toil in eternal sleep,
Hands crossed,
Five,
Fifteen,
Twenty-Five Yards Deep.